Could This Be Me?
Based on a recent reflection5 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
This "bio" poem for the writing prompt was very interesting, though sad in places. I am glad it ended well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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This "bio" poem for the writing prompt was very interesting, though sad in places. I am glad it ended well. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Thank you for your wise review. Growth spurts are a part of life Compared with other folk I have been blessed.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
There are many bumps in the road to overcome in life and we need to find where we fit and appreciate our own talents and rest on our confidence when things go wrong, I enjoyed your honest words here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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There are many bumps in the road to overcome in life and we need to find where we fit and appreciate our own talents and rest on our confidence when things go wrong, I enjoyed your honest words here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 03-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Thank you Dolly. This time there were no tears just blessings counted.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed your poem! The way you share your journey from shyness to confidence is powerful. It's not easy to do! I loved how you shared that you used music as a comfort and public speaking as a breakthrough. Your honesty shines through in your writing. Especially in lines like "too much control and no escape." I can really feel the growth you've experienced. I love how you ended with a reminder of faith. That was really uplifting. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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I really enjoyed your poem! The way you share your journey from shyness to confidence is powerful. It's not easy to do! I loved how you shared that you used music as a comfort and public speaking as a breakthrough. Your honesty shines through in your writing. Especially in lines like "too much control and no escape." I can really feel the growth you've experienced. I love how you ended with a reminder of faith. That was really uplifting. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Michael thank you once again. I learn a lot from your reviews.
Comment from Tim Margetts
This is a warm, sincere, and openly reflective piece, and you guide us through your transformation with humility and grace.
The tone is gently conversational throughout, which suits the subject matter beautifully. You don't try to over-poeticise the experience-you just share it, and that gives the poem its power.
Lines like "shyness hovered like a sheath" and "lost in the world that eased fright" are quietly evocative, and the rhythm of "Public speaking soon became / the success without the blame game" brings in a light musicality that contrasts nicely with the earlier, heavier tone.
There's a soft upward arc here-from shame and retreat into voice, presence, and purpose.
I also appreciated how you acknowledged the tension between control and freedom in music-"too much control and no escape / except at church the worship drape" is a rich pairing of imagery and meaning.
It highlights how spiritual spaces can offer release where artistic ones sometimes constrict.
A few thoughts for refinement:
The line "believing that everyone I met loved me / Oh, how very twee!" introduces a sudden tonal shift into almost comic irony. It's a bold move, and it works if you're aiming for that flicker of self-aware humour-but if the intent is to maintain a steady reflective tone, you might soften that line.
There are occasional rhythm breaks (e.g., "yet that was not the dream for me") where the line feels slightly prosaic. A tiny trim or rephrase might help the flow.
The final stanza brings everything home with a grounded, faithful warmth. "The Lord still makes us whole / for He is in control" is a gentle coda to a life explored, not explained away.
Tim
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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This is a warm, sincere, and openly reflective piece, and you guide us through your transformation with humility and grace.
The tone is gently conversational throughout, which suits the subject matter beautifully. You don't try to over-poeticise the experience-you just share it, and that gives the poem its power.
Lines like "shyness hovered like a sheath" and "lost in the world that eased fright" are quietly evocative, and the rhythm of "Public speaking soon became / the success without the blame game" brings in a light musicality that contrasts nicely with the earlier, heavier tone.
There's a soft upward arc here-from shame and retreat into voice, presence, and purpose.
I also appreciated how you acknowledged the tension between control and freedom in music-"too much control and no escape / except at church the worship drape" is a rich pairing of imagery and meaning.
It highlights how spiritual spaces can offer release where artistic ones sometimes constrict.
A few thoughts for refinement:
The line "believing that everyone I met loved me / Oh, how very twee!" introduces a sudden tonal shift into almost comic irony. It's a bold move, and it works if you're aiming for that flicker of self-aware humour-but if the intent is to maintain a steady reflective tone, you might soften that line.
There are occasional rhythm breaks (e.g., "yet that was not the dream for me") where the line feels slightly prosaic. A tiny trim or rephrase might help the flow.
The final stanza brings everything home with a grounded, faithful warmth. "The Lord still makes us whole / for He is in control" is a gentle coda to a life explored, not explained away.
Tim
Comment Written 03-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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I am begining to learn a lot from your reviews, Tim. Thank you
Comment from Jessa kuder
This poem is beautiful. It inspires strength in its readers. You are an amazing woman. Finding self-worth is difficult in this crazy world. It seems that people would rather put each other down than work on self-improvement. It seems you must have put that work in because you seem to be a shining star. Confident and self-assured but loving and caring as well. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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This poem is beautiful. It inspires strength in its readers. You are an amazing woman. Finding self-worth is difficult in this crazy world. It seems that people would rather put each other down than work on self-improvement. It seems you must have put that work in because you seem to be a shining star. Confident and self-assured but loving and caring as well. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2025
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Thank you for your encouraging review. It speaks volumes; in fact, it has made my day!
