MADHOUSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Welcome Home"A Day at Sea World
15 total reviews
Comment from bookishfabler
I'm still here, girlfriend. I was just wondering, How would Beth's family feel if she spent the night with her friend. I would figure they would really want to be with her. Maybe that's just me.
Nice ending with the boyfriend. What a guy.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2008
  |
I'm still here, girlfriend. I was just wondering, How would Beth's family feel if she spent the night with her friend. I would figure they would really want to be with her. Maybe that's just me.
Nice ending with the boyfriend. What a guy.
hugs
book
Comment Written 29-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2008
-
Hi Heidi,
I kind of left Beth and Molly up in the air. I think the biggest thing is they'll be together, one way or another! And Audrey? Yep, I had to give her a really good guy. Seemed fitting!
Good seeing you again and thanks for the fine review,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Sylvia Page
That was a lovely ending to the story. Loved all the characters. You brought them to life. Very well written. Enjoyed the reading and the story as it progressed. Now I wish you every success in getting your book in print.
Happy writing
Sylvia
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
|
That was a lovely ending to the story. Loved all the characters. You brought them to life. Very well written. Enjoyed the reading and the story as it progressed. Now I wish you every success in getting your book in print.
Happy writing
Sylvia
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
-
Hi Sylvia,
Sure do appreciate all the fine comments and wonderfup input you've offered throughout this story. You are really appreciated.
Gayle
Comment from davidray
Hi Gayle,
A very entertaining section to read. I didn't fin anything too concerning. The flow was terrific, and the dialogue was very, very good. Keep up the great job. YOu're looking good from here. ;)
Always,
David
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
|
Hi Gayle,
A very entertaining section to read. I didn't fin anything too concerning. The flow was terrific, and the dialogue was very, very good. Keep up the great job. YOu're looking good from here. ;)
Always,
David
Comment Written 24-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2008
-
Hey David,
Well, here we are. I love getting to the end of a book. I know most novelists don't like that, but I do. Always another story percolating in the head, ready to go.
Thanks so much for all your support and the wonderful help and comments.
Big hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
A great chapter, Gayle. Thanks for having Audrey's guy be sympathetic to her needs. Women who have been raped need to know that some men really are compassionate, understanding, and willing to go to the ends of the earth for the women they love regardless of what transpires in their life. Bravo!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
|
A great chapter, Gayle. Thanks for having Audrey's guy be sympathetic to her needs. Women who have been raped need to know that some men really are compassionate, understanding, and willing to go to the ends of the earth for the women they love regardless of what transpires in their life. Bravo!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
-
That's exactly why I did that, Jan, and it's you who inspired me to think along those lines.
So glad you enjoyed!
Hugs,
Gayle
-
I am honored and humbled by that. Thank you.
Comment from Jonez08
Wonderful chapter Gayle. Very well written and great dialog. I am so happy for Molly and Andre. Very good description of JIm's injury and Fred was downright sweet, well done
Cassandra
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
|
Wonderful chapter Gayle. Very well written and great dialog. I am so happy for Molly and Andre. Very good description of JIm's injury and Fred was downright sweet, well done
Cassandra
Comment Written 23-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
-
Happy endings are very important to me. Nothing is more upsetting than a poor ending, IMHO! Glad you liked this one and thanks so much for the fine comments.
Gayle
Comment from Kym Jade
So glad everyone is home safe. We would expect Beth does feel a little more comfortable with Molly around. Audrey has a nice guy hope she gets over this horrible experience in one piece emotionally. This book has been such a roller coaster we?re sorry it is coming to an end.
Question: Is this the right name? Who is Bob? Or am I missing something?
"That car gives you no end of pleasure, Terry. Bob must be rolling."
Love and blessings
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
|
So glad everyone is home safe. We would expect Beth does feel a little more comfortable with Molly around. Audrey has a nice guy hope she gets over this horrible experience in one piece emotionally. This book has been such a roller coaster we?re sorry it is coming to an end.
Question: Is this the right name? Who is Bob? Or am I missing something?
"That car gives you no end of pleasure, Terry. Bob must be rolling."
Love and blessings
Comment Written 23-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
-
LOL! Ladies! How quickly we forget the nefarious villain, former owner of said Jag, who met with an untimely demise in his kitchen...Terry's ex! He truly was forgetable, I agree!
I had fun, too, and really appreciate your support through all this, and the lovely comments,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from Sissy
Yo Gayle!
Things are tying up nicely here. I'm sure the reunion between Tony and Jim will be something. Overall, good chapter, my only general comment revolves around Audrey. She wasn't a main character earlier, and I don't know if her role really warrants that whole part w/ her and Freddie in the end. You may want to consider kicking it, or having someone later on mention that she is alright, etc. etc. See if anyone else has an opinion!
A few things to check out:
The doctor approached (need?-->them), clipboard in hand, and the look on his face made them sigh with relief.
Rudy leaned toward the doctor, still not satisfied. "Will there be any residual effects, (D)octor?
"Shut up, Danny!" Molly glared at her little brother, aghast. (<--not sure if you need 'aghast' here. Your call) "You have the sensitivity of a flippin' flea."
"Good grief, (not sure about 'Good grief', Gayle!) of course you can. That
They sat at Terry's kitchen table sipping wine and talking about the truly harrowing last couple of days. Lenny had some loose ends to tie up with the Chapman case, so the girls sat alone, chatting. (I think you should clarify the girls are sitting alone at the beginning. The 'They' at the beginning of this is very vague.)
"I still can't get over how brave those kids were. You can only imagine what they went through at the hands of that madman, and then to be thrown into the middle of a raging forest fire. Dear me, just incredible bravery." (At first I was confused who said this!)
Ella shrugged, expression grim. "What a miserable, (eliminate comma) frickin' couple of days.
Seriously, the battery went dead the other day 'cause I didn't close the trunk tight. Well, it's some silly Brit safety feature, I guess, but after you juice up the battery, you have to do this whole reprogramming thingy with the radio. (Aren't Jaguars made by Ford now, Gayle?? My mom has an old one, that when the stupid battery goes dead, it's like a nightmare!)
"Does that happen much(?)" Ella asked with a titter, eyebrows arched.
Terry chuckled. "
Ella chuckled. (<--consider kicking this 'chuckled' since yo u have her laughing later and Terry chuckling right before.) "You guys are always such good sports.
Hope this helps!
Take care,
Sis
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
 |
Yo Gayle!
Things are tying up nicely here. I'm sure the reunion between Tony and Jim will be something. Overall, good chapter, my only general comment revolves around Audrey. She wasn't a main character earlier, and I don't know if her role really warrants that whole part w/ her and Freddie in the end. You may want to consider kicking it, or having someone later on mention that she is alright, etc. etc. See if anyone else has an opinion!
A few things to check out:
The doctor approached (need?-->them), clipboard in hand, and the look on his face made them sigh with relief.
Rudy leaned toward the doctor, still not satisfied. "Will there be any residual effects, (D)octor?
"Shut up, Danny!" Molly glared at her little brother, aghast. (<--not sure if you need 'aghast' here. Your call) "You have the sensitivity of a flippin' flea."
"Good grief, (not sure about 'Good grief', Gayle!) of course you can. That
They sat at Terry's kitchen table sipping wine and talking about the truly harrowing last couple of days. Lenny had some loose ends to tie up with the Chapman case, so the girls sat alone, chatting. (I think you should clarify the girls are sitting alone at the beginning. The 'They' at the beginning of this is very vague.)
"I still can't get over how brave those kids were. You can only imagine what they went through at the hands of that madman, and then to be thrown into the middle of a raging forest fire. Dear me, just incredible bravery." (At first I was confused who said this!)
Ella shrugged, expression grim. "What a miserable, (eliminate comma) frickin' couple of days.
Seriously, the battery went dead the other day 'cause I didn't close the trunk tight. Well, it's some silly Brit safety feature, I guess, but after you juice up the battery, you have to do this whole reprogramming thingy with the radio. (Aren't Jaguars made by Ford now, Gayle?? My mom has an old one, that when the stupid battery goes dead, it's like a nightmare!)
"Does that happen much(?)" Ella asked with a titter, eyebrows arched.
Terry chuckled. "
Ella chuckled. (<--consider kicking this 'chuckled' since yo u have her laughing later and Terry chuckling right before.) "You guys are always such good sports.
Hope this helps!
Take care,
Sis
Comment Written 22-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
-
Hey Sis,
What year is her Jag? Mine's a '94, so maybe Ford hadn't got'em by that time, not sure. Anyway, you do NOT want to let your battery go dead...not fun.
Hey, as usual, you've done an excellent job here with loads of edits for consideration. Can't thank you enough, my friend,
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from butterflykiss
Oh great now I've got another worry. I'm so glad that you are sharing this with us. Its a great story moving well and I like all the characters. I just feel so sorry for those girls.
Good luck.
Butterflykiss
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
|
Oh great now I've got another worry. I'm so glad that you are sharing this with us. Its a great story moving well and I like all the characters. I just feel so sorry for those girls.
Good luck.
Butterflykiss
Comment Written 22-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
-
Hi Jane,
Now comes the healing process. I hope both girls recover and go on with happy lives. I kinda think they will...
So, until we meet again, and the case if solved...
Hugs,
Gayle
-
Hello,
Thanks fr the head up. it ws a grea stoy.
Good luck.
Jane
Comment from Korton
This is an excellent conclusion to a really good story. I suppose that Tony is the only one left who is still on pins and needles. Fortunately, in this story there is a happy ending. Very well done.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
|
This is an excellent conclusion to a really good story. I suppose that Tony is the only one left who is still on pins and needles. Fortunately, in this story there is a happy ending. Very well done.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2008
-
Poor Tony! I mean, the last thing he knew, Jim was hurt and now he's gone. Very disconcerting, for sure.
I'm so glad you liked this one, Frank, and want you to know how much I appreciate your support and fine comments throughout.
Best,
Gayle
Comment from Johnny Carwash
Very good chapter. The mood seems to be changing, but your writing quality isn't stumbling. I continue to enjoy this book, Gayle. You're a magnificent writer.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2008
 |
Very good chapter. The mood seems to be changing, but your writing quality isn't stumbling. I continue to enjoy this book, Gayle. You're a magnificent writer.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2008
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2008
-
Now I'm sayin'! That's how to start the morning! Johnny! I'm just jazzed over that sixer! I really liked this chapter, too, and am thrilled you liked it too.
Thanks again for your support and comments as well as that lovely bouquet!
Hugs,
Gayle