Thankfulness
A medieval tale24 total reviews
Comment from Diny
Felt very true to the age you were writing about- I think Shackespear and all those upity classical bards would even apporve- haha- Write on and luck be with thee on this one-Di
reply by the author on 23-May-2009
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Felt very true to the age you were writing about- I think Shackespear and all those upity classical bards would even apporve- haha- Write on and luck be with thee on this one-Di
Comment Written 23-May-2009
reply by the author on 23-May-2009
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Thanks; too bad most of the readers didn't. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from bookjunkie
I like sonnets, and you keep true to the form. The syntax flows well, and the words you chose to rhyme work. You tell a story with the poem, and even without the photo (good choice by the way) or your explanation, it is clear that it takes place in medieval times by your word choice. "Confessing heresy must be his plan; They would submerge me; pull me by my hair. If I survived, I would not be a witch;" That word "heresy" automatically makes me think of an ancient time, either Puritan days or medieval. Once the King is revealed, I know it is medieval time.
The ending is a surprise and a relief that this young lady is not going to be tortured or killed, but rather, rewarded.
Great job! I like your sonnet.
reply by the author on 21-May-2009
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I like sonnets, and you keep true to the form. The syntax flows well, and the words you chose to rhyme work. You tell a story with the poem, and even without the photo (good choice by the way) or your explanation, it is clear that it takes place in medieval times by your word choice. "Confessing heresy must be his plan; They would submerge me; pull me by my hair. If I survived, I would not be a witch;" That word "heresy" automatically makes me think of an ancient time, either Puritan days or medieval. Once the King is revealed, I know it is medieval time.
The ending is a surprise and a relief that this young lady is not going to be tortured or killed, but rather, rewarded.
Great job! I like your sonnet.
Comment Written 21-May-2009
reply by the author on 21-May-2009
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Thank you; you are very kind. I did not choose the picture; the contest organizer did. However, I am very glad you caught the gist of my sonnet. Thanks again.
Comment from patwannabe
Alvin, I think I like it. I'm not really up on my sonnets. The only Shakespeare I've read was in high school over 60 years ago. Since then I have tried to avoid all sonnets :-) I know, shame on me.
I will say it was interesting. What do you mean by "a turn on the ninth line"? Waiting your reply, pat
reply by the author on 20-May-2009
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Alvin, I think I like it. I'm not really up on my sonnets. The only Shakespeare I've read was in high school over 60 years ago. Since then I have tried to avoid all sonnets :-) I know, shame on me.
I will say it was interesting. What do you mean by "a turn on the ninth line"? Waiting your reply, pat
Comment Written 20-May-2009
reply by the author on 20-May-2009
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The subject changes to a different tone and sometimes subject at the ninth line. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from musepoet
I really liked the idea of using the sonnet form. I think it would work better, though, if you could get the necessary information in the poem itself, rather than relying on the notes to make us understand what happened in the poem. Maybe you could consider a short sonnet cycle that would give you room to convey the needed history as well as the present situation. I also thought the last two stanzas, since they were focused on tying up the story, seemed empty of emotion.
I think we need more!
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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I really liked the idea of using the sonnet form. I think it would work better, though, if you could get the necessary information in the poem itself, rather than relying on the notes to make us understand what happened in the poem. Maybe you could consider a short sonnet cycle that would give you room to convey the needed history as well as the present situation. I also thought the last two stanzas, since they were focused on tying up the story, seemed empty of emotion.
I think we need more!
Comment Written 19-May-2009
reply by the author on 19-May-2009
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Thank your review. I made the assumption that most people learn in high school about the medieval trials for witches--obviously I was wrong. That's why I added the notes. Also, I used to be very verbose and have tried to pared my writing down (I am not defending my work, just clarifying.) I was hoping the last two lines would come through as a surprise. Obviously I was wrong. Thank you for your comments.
Comment from Jonez08
Very nice sonnet, Alvin. I love the depth that it has. Going from an accused witch to the high seat of a Queen is lovely indeed. I'm curious as to how she made the King well, but I guess that's when the reader's imagination kicks in. Well done. I wish you well in the contest and thank you for joining.
Cassandra
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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Very nice sonnet, Alvin. I love the depth that it has. Going from an accused witch to the high seat of a Queen is lovely indeed. I'm curious as to how she made the King well, but I guess that's when the reader's imagination kicks in. Well done. I wish you well in the contest and thank you for joining.
Cassandra
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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Ancient herbal medicine. In Europe of old, mothers passed down herbal cures (similar to the Chinese) from mother to daughter. Thanks for a great review.
Comment from babylonia
but of course, it's only natural that you would accuse your savior of being a witch. such craziness of yore. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
i hope this did well in the contest.
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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but of course, it's only natural that you would accuse your savior of being a witch. such craziness of yore. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
i hope this did well in the contest.
love,
barbara
Comment Written 18-May-2009
reply by the author on 18-May-2009
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We'll see. The deadline for entries is today. Thanks for a great review.
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you are welcome~
Comment from wwmeggie
Cool! I was thinking there was going to be a really bad ending here, but suprise!
Your sonnet flows almost effortlessly--and that's not easy to do. My first instinct was just to read, not try and count syllables.
She made out pretty well, didn't she? The King is surely a young fellow! :)
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Cool! I was thinking there was going to be a really bad ending here, but suprise!
Your sonnet flows almost effortlessly--and that's not easy to do. My first instinct was just to read, not try and count syllables.
She made out pretty well, didn't she? The King is surely a young fellow! :)
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Well, often in medieval Europe, girls as young as thirteen were accused of being witches (they had learned herbal medicine from their mothers.) So the girl and the boy are about the same age. Thanks for a great review.
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Lol! This is true! I liked it better when she got a cute young King, if you don't mind. ;)
Comment from filmoreodragon
Good one! good luck, too. I like that you chose the sonnet to tell your Medieval story. Great artwork to illustrate your story too.
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Good one! good luck, too. I like that you chose the sonnet to tell your Medieval story. Great artwork to illustrate your story too.
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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I didn't chose the artwork; the contest did. Thank you for reassuring me about using the sonnet form; I was a bit concerned about that. Thank you also for a good review.
Comment from rama devi
An excellent sonnet, suitable to the theme and well expressed. Creative and original as well as well presented.
It has a medieval tone and tenor, definitely. Well paced and true to form.
I find no nits.
Best of luck in the contest.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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An excellent sonnet, suitable to the theme and well expressed. Creative and original as well as well presented.
It has a medieval tone and tenor, definitely. Well paced and true to form.
I find no nits.
Best of luck in the contest.
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. It helps that my mentor was a medievalist.
Comment from Summer Falls
Hello Al!
This certainly is an original twist to a medieval story! Kudos on your creativity. Now, I read the poem/sonnet several times to get the true gist of the story line. Please tell me if I am off base on this one. I picture a maiden, pacing a room worried she is going to be drowned. It is a bad position, obviously, with no way of winning. Either she drowns and is deemed innocent, or she lives and is deemed a witch. Then the story twists and from what I could gather, it was the fact that she saved the king from drowning when he was a child that actually saved her from the fate of being cursed with being a witch.(I think it was the king) Instead of her being drowned the grateful king wishes to marry her instead. Oh, if I am wrong, I will be embarrassed, but I just had to give you my interpretation of this lovely sonnet. Good luck in the contest.
Summer
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Hello Al!
This certainly is an original twist to a medieval story! Kudos on your creativity. Now, I read the poem/sonnet several times to get the true gist of the story line. Please tell me if I am off base on this one. I picture a maiden, pacing a room worried she is going to be drowned. It is a bad position, obviously, with no way of winning. Either she drowns and is deemed innocent, or she lives and is deemed a witch. Then the story twists and from what I could gather, it was the fact that she saved the king from drowning when he was a child that actually saved her from the fate of being cursed with being a witch.(I think it was the king) Instead of her being drowned the grateful king wishes to marry her instead. Oh, if I am wrong, I will be embarrassed, but I just had to give you my interpretation of this lovely sonnet. Good luck in the contest.
Summer
Comment Written 17-May-2009
reply by the author on 17-May-2009
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Good interpretation. You are right about she can't win if deemed a witch. But she was deemed a witch because she cured the King (not necessarily from drowning); she was allowed to live until he was a adult so he could make the necessary decision. His decision when became King was to make her a Queen, so you have the basics quite right.
