Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "So The Story Goes...."A book of a mixture of stories
64 total reviews
Comment from dmt1967
"Well, Paulie told Rob that Jackson was standing on his front porch, sneaking a puff of (mary jane) when he saw a figure dressed in white, sail past Julie, knocking her off her feet. (Mary-Jane) Even if it is a drug name it still has to be in capitals, I think. Check on that but I think I am right. Also, because it is one word I think it has to be hyphened. Check on that as well as I am 90% sure only.
"(Yeah, why) wouldn't I be? It was Julie, not me." (Yeah. Why...) Just sounds better, in my opinion.
Great story and thank you for sharing. Stay safe and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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"Well, Paulie told Rob that Jackson was standing on his front porch, sneaking a puff of (mary jane) when he saw a figure dressed in white, sail past Julie, knocking her off her feet. (Mary-Jane) Even if it is a drug name it still has to be in capitals, I think. Check on that but I think I am right. Also, because it is one word I think it has to be hyphened. Check on that as well as I am 90% sure only.
"(Yeah, why) wouldn't I be? It was Julie, not me." (Yeah. Why...) Just sounds better, in my opinion.
Great story and thank you for sharing. Stay safe and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2021
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fixed and thank you...Try to catch the ones with money on them...It will help you out. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Well, well. Watching that story grow was fun. You made it pretty clear how people add and exaggerate stories. In the end, the cat was the source of the chaos and the person chasing it. Great composition, Carol.
Ralf
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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Well, well. Watching that story grow was fun. You made it pretty clear how people add and exaggerate stories. In the end, the cat was the source of the chaos and the person chasing it. Great composition, Carol.
Ralf
Comment Written 09-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2021
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thanks, Ralf... it's been a rough day and I am far behind but I thank you for reading and reviewing. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Sure a spooky story. It would be a Halloween edition. As far as cemeteries, we have a cemetery around here where there are bad happenings about ghosts and killings. Not sure if they are fiction or nonfiction,
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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Sure a spooky story. It would be a Halloween edition. As far as cemeteries, we have a cemetery around here where there are bad happenings about ghosts and killings. Not sure if they are fiction or nonfiction,
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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|Good day, Rosemary... We have several cemeteries and "haunted" places around our area too... I prefer to stay far away. I like to write scary but with a happy ending instead of blood and gore. Thanks for the review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is a cute story! It reminds me of when I was a little girl in Brownie's we played a game called "gossip" One person whispered something in one person's ear and it went all around the circle. Most often what the last person heard was nothing like what the first person said. Gret job! I really enjoyed reading it.
xxoo Patty
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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This is a cute story! It reminds me of when I was a little girl in Brownie's we played a game called "gossip" One person whispered something in one person's ear and it went all around the circle. Most often what the last person heard was nothing like what the first person said. Gret job! I really enjoyed reading it.
xxoo Patty
Comment Written 28-May-2021
reply by the author on 28-May-2021
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I believe most of us have played a version of that game at one time or another... too many are still playing it in adult life as well. thanks for the review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
Wow! This story was crazy good. It moved quickly and smoothly from beginning to end, with loads of laughs along the way. You are the queen of authentic dialogue. By the way, I would have missed this one if it had not been for Liz Emerald's post, "Portfolio Troll Strikes Again," where she names this piece worthy of special mention. She was right. This is a sixer.
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Wow! This story was crazy good. It moved quickly and smoothly from beginning to end, with loads of laughs along the way. You are the queen of authentic dialogue. By the way, I would have missed this one if it had not been for Liz Emerald's post, "Portfolio Troll Strikes Again," where she names this piece worthy of special mention. She was right. This is a sixer.
Comment Written 27-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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i wrote the initial version of this story when I first joined FS in 2009... I was looking for a story for my son when I came across it. I added the "scary" beginning and a few changes... It was fun. I wonder if it did not notify you since it was a report. Anyhow, I am thrilled you got to read it and enjoyed it. Thanks Lorraine... How absolutely wonderful of you. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Love it, love it. Talk about rumors and gossip and gossipers. You did an excellent job, Carol. I like the suspense of your story without the blood and gore that so many 'cemetery' stories include. I like the ending real well. Poor ol' Mrs. Pickens. She sounds like a lonely ol' lady who probably has great stories to share if anyone would take the time to listen.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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Love it, love it. Talk about rumors and gossip and gossipers. You did an excellent job, Carol. I like the suspense of your story without the blood and gore that so many 'cemetery' stories include. I like the ending real well. Poor ol' Mrs. Pickens. She sounds like a lonely ol' lady who probably has great stories to share if anyone would take the time to listen.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 27-May-2021
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i prefer to bypass all the blood and gore as well if I can. Appreciate you stopping by and enjoying my little story. Have a great day!
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
I'm glad that this turned out to be a funny story, Carol. It sure didn't start that way! lol. It reminds me of a game we used to play as kids. We'd all sit in a circle on the floor. Someone would whisper a sentence into the ear of the person next to them, and they would pass it on. When it finally made it back to the person who started it, it was hardly recognizable. Goes to show how much we pay attention at times. Great story.:)
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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I'm glad that this turned out to be a funny story, Carol. It sure didn't start that way! lol. It reminds me of a game we used to play as kids. We'd all sit in a circle on the floor. Someone would whisper a sentence into the ear of the person next to them, and they would pass it on. When it finally made it back to the person who started it, it was hardly recognizable. Goes to show how much we pay attention at times. Great story.:)
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Yes, I remember that as well. I added the doom and gloom feeling at the beginning and went from there. thanks for the review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
That's a fun story which shows us the way humans behave. We see it all on the internet today whether their favorite witch is a Democrat or a Republican, they sure like to spin rumors.
It's good the Mrs. Pickens is such a good sport about the whole thing.
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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That's a fun story which shows us the way humans behave. We see it all on the internet today whether their favorite witch is a Democrat or a Republican, they sure like to spin rumors.
It's good the Mrs. Pickens is such a good sport about the whole thing.
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Yes, nothing ever ends up the same way it was started. I thank you for your kind review ... you are in my next story I posted... hope the review is as nice with that one. lol Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
I like these sort of horror stories, with a great ending to it. You're a genius with creative writing, I don't possess your imagination Carol, but we all have our strengths. This is yours, the ability to conjure up a great fictional story, well done, great job My friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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I like these sort of horror stories, with a great ending to it. You're a genius with creative writing, I don't possess your imagination Carol, but we all have our strengths. This is yours, the ability to conjure up a great fictional story, well done, great job My friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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Thanks, Roy... I hope you don't mind but I included you in the story I just posted. Thank you for your generous accolades. I hope my stories help others see that we can go on...it might not be easy but we can climb that ladder one rung at a time. Smiles, Carol
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How could I not? I just reviewed it. More accolades.
Comment from Carol Clark2
I thought this was going to be a thriller story when I began reading. I'm glad it turned out to be quite humorous. Great turn of events and exaggeration, with everyone extending the story just a bit. Best wishes in the contest. Carol
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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I thought this was going to be a thriller story when I began reading. I'm glad it turned out to be quite humorous. Great turn of events and exaggeration, with everyone extending the story just a bit. Best wishes in the contest. Carol
Comment Written 26-May-2021
reply by the author on 26-May-2021
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In 2009 I wrote it as a short flash fiction... yesterday I was looking for shorts for my son to make one day films (for practice) and stumbled across this one. I added the beginning and doctored the remainder. It was fun! Smiles, Carol
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I hope your son gets to film it. It should be cute. Smiles back. Carol