Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Coming Home Again"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
52 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Carol...I see this story won first place in the contest and I can easily see why. It is well written and uses all the required words well. I would have never known they were required till I read the rules. Congrats to you...well done....blessings....chey
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Hi Carol...I see this story won first place in the contest and I can easily see why. It is well written and uses all the required words well. I would have never known they were required till I read the rules. Congrats to you...well done....blessings....chey
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Chey This story wrote itself...Somehow it just exploded in my head when I started thinking what to write. I wish they all came that easy. Thanks again Carol
Comment from --Turtle.
Hi Carol,
Nice short, I found it easy to read and got a good taste of the persons life in a short time. The only thing that I can recommend, (because I'm trying to force myself to do it) Is to try to limit the use of 'was' for something else when you can.
(its hard.) I'm not doing so well at it myself, but here is an example I though of on the last part
Their favorite fantasy storybook about fairies that lived underwater in the deep blue sea was open on the nightstand.
Instead of was open, maybe you could use-- sat open, or lay open,
(: ) I know it's been awhile since you seen a comment from me, but moving has left me with no internet!! : o) And I fret.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Hi Carol,
Nice short, I found it easy to read and got a good taste of the persons life in a short time. The only thing that I can recommend, (because I'm trying to force myself to do it) Is to try to limit the use of 'was' for something else when you can.
(its hard.) I'm not doing so well at it myself, but here is an example I though of on the last part
Their favorite fantasy storybook about fairies that lived underwater in the deep blue sea was open on the nightstand.
Instead of was open, maybe you could use-- sat open, or lay open,
(: ) I know it's been awhile since you seen a comment from me, but moving has left me with no internet!! : o) And I fret.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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turtlestage...I thought you'd left me for another.LOL Hadn't heard from you in ages. Didn't know you were moving....that won't help you get away from me, you know. Thanks for the suggestion...it was a good one. Hope you are doing okay...Take care. Carol
Comment from Kingsland
this story should be a winner as it brought a tear to my eyes. I was brought up and raised in the ghetto. So I have some first hand views of what happens there. This was just an excellent piece of writing that was my pleasure to have written a review for... John
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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this story should be a winner as it brought a tear to my eyes. I was brought up and raised in the ghetto. So I have some first hand views of what happens there. This was just an excellent piece of writing that was my pleasure to have written a review for... John
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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John Your writing always astounds me so I am flattered that you took the time to read and comment on mine. These short stories are a bit of a challenge but lots of fun. Thanks again Carol
Comment from Candis
Very good! I read the guidelines and you followed them to a tee. You made very nice use of each word and the story came together exactly as it should. I saw no problems with flow and grammar so you should do very well in this contest. Great writing!
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Very good! I read the guidelines and you followed them to a tee. You made very nice use of each word and the story came together exactly as it should. I saw no problems with flow and grammar so you should do very well in this contest. Great writing!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Candis
Appreciate your comments. This one was a challenge to write with so few words allowed and using the ones they decided. Thanks again...Carol
Comment from perunest
You've done a nice job ending this
story on a note of hope. You've supplied
enough description to deliver the images in
this piece of flash fiction. Congratulations
on your win! Carolyn
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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You've done a nice job ending this
story on a note of hope. You've supplied
enough description to deliver the images in
this piece of flash fiction. Congratulations
on your win! Carolyn
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Carolyn Thank you so much for the comments and best wishes. Carol
Comment from ladybird
This is so very, very good. You are very adept at writing these 'using certain words'contests. This was a lovely read that made sense. It makes the reader want to know where the small family are going. No wonder you won the contest, this is brill'. Love the artwork as well.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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This is so very, very good. You are very adept at writing these 'using certain words'contests. This was a lovely read that made sense. It makes the reader want to know where the small family are going. No wonder you won the contest, this is brill'. Love the artwork as well.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Ladybird
Thanks so much for your kind comments and best wishes. I greatly appreciate them. Carol
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You're welcome.
Comment from Mariea
You certainly met the requirements of the writing prompt.
Flow - Good fluid movement throughout
Structure - Well put together and developed
Emotion - Makes u feel that you should re-assure her of her committment.
A good read
Regards Mia
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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You certainly met the requirements of the writing prompt.
Flow - Good fluid movement throughout
Structure - Well put together and developed
Emotion - Makes u feel that you should re-assure her of her committment.
A good read
Regards Mia
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Mia
Thanks so much for your kind comments. I enjoyed writing this challenge. Carol
Comment from Summer Falls
Wow. This certainly packed a punch! I love the stark reality and descrptive scene--just enough to give the story that reality. Flash fiction is not anything I have ever tried, but it sure looks like you excel at it. I love the last sentence.
The suitcases are packed.
It carries such hope.
Summer
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Wow. This certainly packed a punch! I love the stark reality and descrptive scene--just enough to give the story that reality. Flash fiction is not anything I have ever tried, but it sure looks like you excel at it. I love the last sentence.
The suitcases are packed.
It carries such hope.
Summer
Comment Written 01-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Summer
Thanks for your kind review. I greatly appreciate your comments. Carol
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Your style is wonderful. :)
Comment from IndianaIrish
Carol, you did a fantastic job using the required words for this story. It read so smooth...like you wrote the story with the words, not around the words. Best wishes and I hope this does well in the contest.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Carol, you did a fantastic job using the required words for this story. It read so smooth...like you wrote the story with the words, not around the words. Best wishes and I hope this does well in the contest.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2009
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Indy
Thanks for the kind review. I greatly appreciate it. Carol
Comment from mermaids
Excellent writing and I love the fairies beneath the sea, a unique idea. You create a story in which the fairies are an escape from a harsh reality. Great work and best luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009
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Excellent writing and I love the fairies beneath the sea, a unique idea. You create a story in which the fairies are an escape from a harsh reality. Great work and best luck in the contest.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2009
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mermaids
The fairies might have been one of your friends.LOL Thanks for the kind review. Carol
