Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "From One Who Knows...."Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
54 total reviews
Comment from Kingsland
All right... this was good! I liked how this ultra short piece of prose just fill the senses with all kind of thoughts. You put this piece together just right, as it spikes the thoughts process while still being so damn entertaining... John
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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All right... this was good! I liked how this ultra short piece of prose just fill the senses with all kind of thoughts. You put this piece together just right, as it spikes the thoughts process while still being so damn entertaining... John
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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John I am thrilled with your review. I love your writing and it's always so way beyond my thought process so the fact that I entertained you makes me very happy. Thanks again Carol
Comment from babylonia
sigh, i hope he doesn't take the offer. i got the impression they weren't married so ... nicely done. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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sigh, i hope he doesn't take the offer. i got the impression they weren't married so ... nicely done. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent.
good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Barbara He was been with her for four years, wedding was planned and pow! He has moved past the drinking but his heart may never heal. Thanks for the review. Carol
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carol,
i hate to hear that especially about still being wounded. there's a lot of great women out there. i hope he lets one in.
love,
barbara
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So do I...he's a wonderful young man...has his mother's romantic bones and a heart of gold.....Lots of girl friends, but none he will let get close again. Carol
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carol,
have you suggested counseling? i know it's none of my business. i just know that several of my relationships could have been better and that includes the one i'm in now, if the guy had gotten help with old wounds. trust is such a needed factor in any relationship. it can't help but to spill over into other areas of his life.
love,
barbara
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He went once and the counselor told him that he was young (24) and would get over a broken heart...guess he didn't know my son very well. His fiancee ended up pregnant and married to the other guy in less than 3 months. It tortures him because he sees the other guy living his life. To make matters worse, she tends to contact him on myspace about evrey four months...just when he's starting to get better.
Today, he told me he didn't have the same feeling for her anymore...but sometimes I think he likes to give his mother lip service.
Thanks for caring enough to ask about him. He's my youngest and I worry so much about him. I don't want him to give up on all the wonderful things that are waiting for him to experience. Carol
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carol,
you just gave me another reason why myspace isn't great. LOL she has no right to contact him. some women are just bitches no matter what. i would definitely encourage him to find a counselor who cares. then he'll have the courage to tell the bitch to drop dead. no use wasting his life with what ifs.
love,
barbara
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That's for sure...I keep telling him she is just keeping her finer in the pie just in case it doesn't work out with the other guy...he deserves better than that. I want to just knock some sense into her some times...but mother is suppose to stay out of it unless invited....Who made those rules? Thanks so much for talking to me about this...I get so frustrated sometimes. Carol
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carol,
i can see where i'm not going to be a very good mom. LOL cause i would have already told her to back off. you are right. she's just keeping him on a string "just in case". that is so wrong. i just never understood women/girls like that. you are very welcome. i'm here anytime you want to talk as i know how it is. i know mine is only six but still some day she will be there and i hope that i do the right thing as well.
love,
barbara
Comment from perunest
You've done an admirable job, telling
a story in 100 words and fulfilling the
requirements of the contest. I suppose
James will continue seeing her face in the
bottom of his glass . . .
Good luck in the contest! Carolyn
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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You've done an admirable job, telling
a story in 100 words and fulfilling the
requirements of the contest. I suppose
James will continue seeing her face in the
bottom of his glass . . .
Good luck in the contest! Carolyn
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Perunest
He know longer looks in the bottom of a glass for her, but he still struggles to heal his heart. Thank you so much for the kind review. I greatly appreciate your thoughts. Carol
Comment from light
You have said it all in a few words. It is a sad story that is repeated far too many times. I wish you success in the contest.
Elaine
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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You have said it all in a few words. It is a sad story that is repeated far too many times. I wish you success in the contest.
Elaine
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Light
You are so right about that...It hurts when you see it happen to someone you love. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from Joan E.
Well done! Your tiny story tells about two life time's worth of sorrows. It is well paced and moves quickly but does not sacrifice the necessary details to understand each of the characters in this vignette.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Well done! Your tiny story tells about two life time's worth of sorrows. It is well paced and moves quickly but does not sacrifice the necessary details to understand each of the characters in this vignette.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Joan
Thanks so much for the kind review. I appreciate you taking the time. Carol
Comment from Readywriter52
James came home early to surprise his wife but unfortuantely he was the one who got the surprise. The advice he gets from another man in the same situation is become an alcoholic. I think there should be another solution.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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James came home early to surprise his wife but unfortuantely he was the one who got the surprise. The advice he gets from another man in the same situation is become an alcoholic. I think there should be another solution.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Readywriter
He did find another solution. It just wouldn't fit in the story. My son faced the drinking and moved on. But his heart still isn't healed. Thanks again Carol
Comment from Freeflyer
So sad but so common. How many times is this happening somewhere in the world, each day. And what about the ones who don't get found out.
This did tell a story. The rest is easy to figure. Good luck in the competition with this great entry.
Freeflyer
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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So sad but so common. How many times is this happening somewhere in the world, each day. And what about the ones who don't get found out.
This did tell a story. The rest is easy to figure. Good luck in the competition with this great entry.
Freeflyer
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Freeflyer
Thanks so much for the kind review. It is a common occurence but when it happens in your family it seems to really strike a nerve. My lost his fiance this way. He still struggles with his heart. Thanks again Carol
Comment from Somer
That was really good! although it was short it was interesting! The old man was saying that the bar was his home. How could his fiance cheat on him?
Very well written. and good luck in the contest!
Thanks,
Somer
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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That was really good! although it was short it was interesting! The old man was saying that the bar was his home. How could his fiance cheat on him?
Very well written. and good luck in the contest!
Thanks,
Somer
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Somer
Unfortunately after 4 years and a planned wedding, this is exactly what my son faced. I am glad her moved past the drinking but he still struggles with his heart. Thanks you so much for the review. Carol
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Oh really? I can't understand why people do that!. Hope your son is alright :)
-Somer
Comment from rama devi
Exclelent brevity. Clearcut story - well written wihtout any spag. The only tiny glitch is the sudden switch in tenses
"Alexis, baby, what's taking you so long?" A man in boxer shorts stood behind her.
Devastated, James tried to drink his sorrow away. Alexis's face was(IS) at the bottom of every glass. Tears filled his eyes.
A good entry for the contest!
Best of luck.
Warmly,
rd
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Exclelent brevity. Clearcut story - well written wihtout any spag. The only tiny glitch is the sudden switch in tenses
"Alexis, baby, what's taking you so long?" A man in boxer shorts stood behind her.
Devastated, James tried to drink his sorrow away. Alexis's face was(IS) at the bottom of every glass. Tears filled his eyes.
A good entry for the contest!
Best of luck.
Warmly,
rd
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Rami Devi
I think I should but a cut between the two sections, star or something to separate the moments in time. Thanks for the kind review. Carol
Comment from jodim
Your 100 word dash is heartbreaking! This is the way the world is now though. There is so much strife and stress in the USA now that people try to find ways to escape the pain. Good work!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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Your 100 word dash is heartbreaking! This is the way the world is now though. There is so much strife and stress in the USA now that people try to find ways to escape the pain. Good work!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2009
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jodim
Thank you. It was heartbreaking to watch my son live it. He still struggles to heal. Thanks again for the review. Carol
