Toxic Transference
A bit of free verse on negativity and wasted time106 total reviews
Comment from C Ann
I believe I understand your subject matter and your point. I wasn't sure exactly how this stanza fit into what you were saying: third world observations
disease, homelessness
famine
poverty and pain
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2009
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I believe I understand your subject matter and your point. I wasn't sure exactly how this stanza fit into what you were saying: third world observations
disease, homelessness
famine
poverty and pain
Comment Written 19-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2009
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in other worlds if you look at third world problems what your currently complaining about pales in comparison
Comment from Fleedleflump
I like the idea of using world issues to represent negative 'vibes/karma' and how it preys upon us and grows. The metaphor could perhaps have been carried through further, but that's just a taste issue. You've utilised free verse well to create a considered, haunting reading tone.
Mike
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2009
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I like the idea of using world issues to represent negative 'vibes/karma' and how it preys upon us and grows. The metaphor could perhaps have been carried through further, but that's just a taste issue. You've utilised free verse well to create a considered, haunting reading tone.
Mike
Comment Written 19-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2009
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thank you
Comment from jeslaf
I loved 'toxic conversations/noise pollution' best; it really resonated with me for the white noise in the background all the time eating away at our peace in this 24-hour news cycle world we're living in...:)
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2009
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I loved 'toxic conversations/noise pollution' best; it really resonated with me for the white noise in the background all the time eating away at our peace in this 24-hour news cycle world we're living in...:)
Comment Written 19-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2009
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thanks so much
Comment from MaureenC
I agree wholeheartedly with what you say in this work. We (the developed countries) just do not know how lucky we are and will not SEE the blessings we do have. Look at the third world countries where a woman with five (conceived through rape) children, and lives in a lean-to made of cardboard boxes covered with plastic bags. Think of them and we might appreciate a bit more just how lucky we are.
Hugs and blessings
Maureen
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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I agree wholeheartedly with what you say in this work. We (the developed countries) just do not know how lucky we are and will not SEE the blessings we do have. Look at the third world countries where a woman with five (conceived through rape) children, and lives in a lean-to made of cardboard boxes covered with plastic bags. Think of them and we might appreciate a bit more just how lucky we are.
Hugs and blessings
Maureen
Comment Written 18-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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thank you
Comment from colin
This ia a wonderful message for humanity too ultimately change,with positive actions and not mere empty words of promises. I like the structure of your poem and how it leads to a positive end,if only people really cared!
Excellently written and a joy to read, peace be with you Coln.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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This ia a wonderful message for humanity too ultimately change,with positive actions and not mere empty words of promises. I like the structure of your poem and how it leads to a positive end,if only people really cared!
Excellently written and a joy to read, peace be with you Coln.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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thank you my friend
Comment from djcoomes
Very well put and I agree with you. People, the media, everyone seems to dwell on the negative. I try not to do that in my limited world. Good job. Darlene
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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Very well put and I agree with you. People, the media, everyone seems to dwell on the negative. I try not to do that in my limited world. Good job. Darlene
Comment Written 18-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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thanks my friend blessins to you and yours
Comment from malachi1206
Good write and I would say by and large I agree with your comments there is a place for negativity it usually is a driving force for change when nothing else works. So I agree with your solution and add if you don't have an answer don't complain about it. Excellent write made me think malachi1206
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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Good write and I would say by and large I agree with your comments there is a place for negativity it usually is a driving force for change when nothing else works. So I agree with your solution and add if you don't have an answer don't complain about it. Excellent write made me think malachi1206
Comment Written 18-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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thank you
Comment from stormwolf2
You have a strong clear message here and I agree with you 100%. Negativity will only breed depression. Yes find a way to change things for the better.
It is good to see someone with the right frame of mind...Help others bring positive change.
Best wishes,
Malcolm
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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You have a strong clear message here and I agree with you 100%. Negativity will only breed depression. Yes find a way to change things for the better.
It is good to see someone with the right frame of mind...Help others bring positive change.
Best wishes,
Malcolm
Comment Written 18-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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thanks my friend have an awesome day
Comment from louisianawytch
this was " simply outstanding ". i am in such awe of your talent. always look for the good in life and dont dwell on the negative. it will make for a better world. wonderful wonderful write, monte. very best regards, yvette
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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this was " simply outstanding ". i am in such awe of your talent. always look for the good in life and dont dwell on the negative. it will make for a better world. wonderful wonderful write, monte. very best regards, yvette
Comment Written 18-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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thank you so much my friend i really appreciate the high praise blessings to you and yours
Monte
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
Hmm.
I certainly agree with the premise here, but I didn't think your expression of it worked very well.
This didn't flow. It was kind of a chopped block of words, listed almost like a grocery list. I urge you to reconsider this one and maybe approach it as a fully-realized, fleshed out poem. It's not working very well as you have it here.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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Hmm.
I certainly agree with the premise here, but I didn't think your expression of it worked very well.
This didn't flow. It was kind of a chopped block of words, listed almost like a grocery list. I urge you to reconsider this one and maybe approach it as a fully-realized, fleshed out poem. It's not working very well as you have it here.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2009
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out of the hundred reviews that I have received yours is the only one with this opinions i appreciate your opinion but poetry and free verse do not fall into a tiny scope it may not work for you but it is my style and i stick by my right to express my views in my chosen format If it works for Cheyenne ,Rami devi and Margeret Snowdon than i feel it is a decent piece.
