Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter -10 "Breathe Again"Short Stories
40 total reviews
Comment from ShirleyT1
What a captivating and twisted little story you have created. Well I was hooked from the first sentence, and my interest only grew deeper as I continue to read. Sounds like Taylor had it coming! Great job!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
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What a captivating and twisted little story you have created. Well I was hooked from the first sentence, and my interest only grew deeper as I continue to read. Sounds like Taylor had it coming! Great job!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2021
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Good morning, Shirley. How kind of you to stop by and read my story and leave such a generous review. I appreciate it very much. Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
Yikes! Chilling ending! You have that gift I've spoken so much about...
Your lines just bob and weave together and you pull the snug as a bug in a rug every single time! (Yes, I'm an avid fan...you must be bored with my goings on!)
Another contest winner! Holy cow! You need a virtual award shelf! All well deserved!
A ten year old raped! I just about gasped out loud... "Silent Jenny" has quite the secret to keep once again!
Revenge? What do they say? A dish best served COLD!
Brilliant............................
Karenina
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2021
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Yikes! Chilling ending! You have that gift I've spoken so much about...
Your lines just bob and weave together and you pull the snug as a bug in a rug every single time! (Yes, I'm an avid fan...you must be bored with my goings on!)
Another contest winner! Holy cow! You need a virtual award shelf! All well deserved!
A ten year old raped! I just about gasped out loud... "Silent Jenny" has quite the secret to keep once again!
Revenge? What do they say? A dish best served COLD!
Brilliant............................
Karenina
Comment Written 23-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2021
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Never bored with all the pleasure you give me... Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really enjoyed reading some of my own stories as well...Asking myself if I really wrote it? My brain has taken quite the journey. Smiles, Carol
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When you "began again" you really took off running! A lot of wins in that portfolio of yours! Prose and poetry! Guess what? I am NOT surprised!
Hugs--Karenina
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Another first. My goodness, that is quite an album of stories. You could publish a short story edition.
The story showed the epitome of sleazy behavior that is sometimes prevalent, but unseen.
Ralf
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Another first. My goodness, that is quite an album of stories. You could publish a short story edition.
The story showed the epitome of sleazy behavior that is sometimes prevalent, but unseen.
Ralf
Comment Written 23-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2021
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Thanks, Ralf... Yes, I have found plenty in amidst the cobwebs of years of writing. I have been sorting through and even found that I (yes little ole me) have written poetry and totally forgotten it. Laughing at myself for sure! Smiles, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Congrats on your win for this stunner. Brilliant twist caught me off guard. The characters are vividly real--as is the dialog. Chilling backstory--you nailed the punchline!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Congrats on your win for this stunner. Brilliant twist caught me off guard. The characters are vividly real--as is the dialog. Chilling backstory--you nailed the punchline!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thank you, Liz.. Took a day off and now I am backlogged with messages and reviews. Not complaining, just far behind. LOL Appreciate your reading and reviewing. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Another fantastic contest winner, congratulations! Of course, I knew you were a champion after the first couple of stories that I ever read of yours. Without even knowing about all theses blue ribbons, and I've been hanging close every since. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Another fantastic contest winner, congratulations! Of course, I knew you were a champion after the first couple of stories that I ever read of yours. Without even knowing about all theses blue ribbons, and I've been hanging close every since. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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There you go putting a smile on my face again. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness and your encouragement. You are a special friend. Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
Wow! You've done well in contests Carol, but really that shouldn't surprise none. I won a lot in the early years, but I never enter them now. Who could blame her, she appears consoled that she's done herself and mankind a favour,. Another fabulous plot, and a very worthy entry in this contest, well don my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Wow! You've done well in contests Carol, but really that shouldn't surprise none. I won a lot in the early years, but I never enter them now. Who could blame her, she appears consoled that she's done herself and mankind a favour,. Another fabulous plot, and a very worthy entry in this contest, well don my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thanks, Roy... Yes in the year that I won my trophy I was very fortunate to also win many contests... It's fun to be able to share them now and discover that they are appreciated just as much if not more. Thanks for always being there. Smiles, Carol
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Well done
Comment from Judy Lawless
I don't recognize the opening line, Carol, but you did a great job of creating this intriguing story from it. You are great at giving us a puzzle and surprising us with the solution. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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I don't recognize the opening line, Carol, but you did a great job of creating this intriguing story from it. You are great at giving us a puzzle and surprising us with the solution. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Just cleaning house on old things I wrote and felt readers might enjoy this one and a few others. I am thrilled that they have been accepted so well. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Susan Newell
You did a terrific job with the contest prompt and kept the ending under tight wraps until we got there. The lingerie made me wonder if he was continuing to rape her over time. That wasn't clear. Great little short story.
A few notes:
Jenny's outburst caught him off-guard,-- no hyphen
The Sherriff ==> sheriff (no cap if not preceding a proper noun, name)
and she never left the farm. -- first mention of a "farm." Estate?
When Jenny was ten years old, she'd been raped -- Could this be a reflection by Jarrod? It think that would make the ending more believable. You could say she never told anyone else but Jarrod.
Watching the car leave, Jenny went -- dangling participle. Better as: Jenny watched the car leave, then went . . .
gorged -- engorged?
every one ==> everyone
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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You did a terrific job with the contest prompt and kept the ending under tight wraps until we got there. The lingerie made me wonder if he was continuing to rape her over time. That wasn't clear. Great little short story.
A few notes:
Jenny's outburst caught him off-guard,-- no hyphen
The Sherriff ==> sheriff (no cap if not preceding a proper noun, name)
and she never left the farm. -- first mention of a "farm." Estate?
When Jenny was ten years old, she'd been raped -- Could this be a reflection by Jarrod? It think that would make the ending more believable. You could say she never told anyone else but Jarrod.
Watching the car leave, Jenny went -- dangling participle. Better as: Jenny watched the car leave, then went . . .
gorged -- engorged?
every one ==> everyone
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thanks for taking the time to read and suggest with this old one I dug out of the cobwebs. I am kind of adrift since ending the story On the Edge... but I shall get back into the swing soon I hope. Smiles, Carol
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I'm feeling stalled at the moment. I haven't found any inspiring contests lately.
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I tried to be inspired by my past stories and I even tried to think about a sequel, or something different altogether... I just feel like the well went dry. Nothing seems to inspire me... Tried reading and improving the first chapter but that didn't go well either... Must be something in the air!!!
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When I get into a situation where I'm frustrated because "things aren't moving," either because I just don't feel like moving them, or because I'm waiting for someone else to do something, I remind myself that God knows what's going on, and things will work out according to his plan and schedule, not mine. Then I feel free again and don't feel like I have to act on something.
Comment from Carol Clark2
This is a great story! It not only opens with a twist, but ends with another unexpected twist. It's well-written, with just enough character development to keep the reader intrigued. Glad you reposted this. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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This is a great story! It not only opens with a twist, but ends with another unexpected twist. It's well-written, with just enough character development to keep the reader intrigued. Glad you reposted this. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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I am cleaning house so speak...checking my writing and gathering the stories together. I am thrilled you enjoyed this one. Thanks as always, Carol
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It's great you have enough winners to create a book of them. I hope you're going to publish it. Blessings.
Comment from Lana Marie
Oh wow, I didn't see that coming! That was a good twist. Your writing was very well written and you did a great job with the dialogue, the flow and showing their character .
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Oh wow, I didn't see that coming! That was a good twist. Your writing was very well written and you did a great job with the dialogue, the flow and showing their character .
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thank you Lana for stopping by to read and enjoy one of my short stories. I appreciate it very much. Smiles, Carol
