Comment from Shirley Rebstock

Good

Love this poem full of wisdom. Should be read in elementary, jr high, all schools. Teach them young that bullying says more about the bully then their target.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem, Shirley. I like your idea about reading at schools. Can you find any ways I can make it better?
Joan

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I think there's nothing worse than being bullied, although it's not that bad, but a young, insecure mind would find it hard, the home should always be a refuge for them, fortunately neither my kids nor my grands have suffered those things, beautifully written Joan, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

Hi Roy,
Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. You are lucky that no one in your family has been bullied. I wrote this because I was bullied. I started writing to get through it. I was verbally bullied but not physically bullied.
Joan

reply by royowen on 15-Jan-2023

That?s terrible, I can remember defending them when young.

reply by the author on 15-Jan-2023

I never told anyone I was being bullied, I just wrote about it secretly. I told my siblings when we were all older. Some said they were bullied too. We could have helped each other, if we know.
Joan

reply by royowen on 15-Jan-2023

So sorry Joan, a terrible thing,

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2023

Thanks for your compassion. I lived through it and am stronger for it.
Joan

reply by royowen on 16-Jan-2023

Yep it can strengthen too

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

words that thicken an ocean to quicksand - you think of an ocean as so fluid and filled with motion that is buoyant. For something to change it into thick quicksand that swallows someone up and won't allow him to move, it has to be so powerful, like the words of a bully. This is a truly compelling and clever image.
You convey so well in this piece the horrible effects of bullying and also use the contest's word list effectively. Too bad you couldn't enter. Brooke

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010

Thanks for the nice review. Its my luck that I am too late, too early or just out of money for a contest. But as long as people read and like the poem, that is all that matters.

Joan

Comment from kimberlycreates

Average

You have some strong imagery here, but the poem felt forced to me. I do like poems that don't have a singsong rhyme scheme, but this poem didn't flow for me. Even though this poem doesn't work for me, it does have a good message. Keep writing!

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 Comment Written 02-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2010

Thanks for the honest review.

dragonpoet

Comment from RebelRose

Excellent

Oh, if we could only protect our kids from the effects of bullying. I like this well written poem that delivers a profound message.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2010

Thanks for the kind review. I am glad you took the message. It would be nice if there was no bullying to worry about. But alas I feel that will never be

dragonpoet

Comment from Judian James

Excellent

Good for you. I have reviewed several entries for this particular contest and most have discounted "scum" You came up with a topic that could include it and make sense and you sent a strong message in your final verse as well

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Mar-2010

Thanks for the kind words and your time to read and review.

dragonpoet(Joan)