Reviews from

Contest Entry and Winners

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Innocent At Heart"
Short Stories

72 total reviews 
Comment from jadapenn
Excellent
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Nice thriller story. Bit long but I got through it. I liked all the suspense and action and the dialogue was good. This Gator was even scaring me.
Best wishes for the contest. luv jada

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
    Jada,

    This one was shorter than usual...You must be tired. LOL Glad you enjoyed it. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi Begin Again,

Good story built on the opening lines there. Great tension builder and excellent descriptions help to set up the final scene. Pity we have so many of this type of nasty piece of work.

Patrick

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
    Patrick,

    Yes, wouldn't it be wonderful if our world could be all sunshine and roses...I'd definitely be happier. Thank you for the wonderful thoughts. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mariea
Excellent
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Another good fast moving story. I almost wanted to punch 'Gator' myself. Characters consistent throughout and no 'spags' that were apparent.

Have a great day. Regards Mia

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
    Mia,

    Yes, a few have wanted to do him in one way or the other. Thanks for getting involved with the characters and enjoying the story. Smiles, Carol
Comment from anabelle
Excellent
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Good story, Carol. I like the letter from the dead girl, not so dead. The meeting in the room with Megan, then the meeting with Gator, both are well done. Friends are forever. It's always nice to have them believe in you when no one else does.

Best of luck in the contest. Good entry.

Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
    Anabelle,

    Yes, having a true friend is hard to come by these days...Thanks for the wonderful review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Trybuck
Excellent
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Hi Carol,

An interesting tale you've got here. A little more drama in the ending might have made it more exciting. It's great as is; I'm just trying to stretch you a bit.
Well done, Buck

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
    Buck,

    I thought about having the place go up in flames before the rescue but it was getting rather long so I ended it...maybe next time. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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This is a an interesting story the way you worked everything out to avenge your friend who really didn't die at all. I was more suspense than horror but I prefer that to horror. I like happy ending and this one had one. Good luck with the prompt contest.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
    Beth,

    Me too! I'm not into horror too much... Having my friend die was horror enough. Thank for the kind review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from RebelRose
Excellent
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[then] where she lived ... [than] where
Man, this was quite a story. I was on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. Very well written and enjoyable.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 05-Mar-2010
    Patty,

    Thank you so much for the suggestion and the kind words. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sherelynne
Excellent
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I thought that this was a very nicely written story. Tammy did what many people wouldn't do.....help a friend by putting herself in jeopardy.

I really thought that Gator was going to do her in until the last sentence or so.

Great ending,

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
    Sherelynne,

    I am glad that you were drawn into the story until the end. I appreciate your comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from mtngalofnc
Excellent
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Hi Begin Again,
Wow! What a great story! I wish I had six stars for this one. I was captivated throughout the entire story. I did find a couple of places you might want to look at.

Adrenaline pumped through my veins, urging me{} complete my mission. You left a word out.
-The door creaked and I froze, struggling to breath.{e}
Easy fixes and the story is well worth the fix. Awesome!

The story is easily read and understood. Has a good flow. One of the most interesting stories, I have read in a long time. Thank you for sharing.

Becky

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
    Becky,

    Awesome review...I thank you so much. Have fixed the nits..I thank you! Appreciate the boost in encouragement. Smiles, Carol
reply by mtngalofnc on 04-Mar-2010
    You are quiet welcome and most deserving!
Comment from boberto
Excellent
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Well done my friend. Just like Mickey Spillane (spelling).
You held my interest all the way through, and made me want to finish the story.
good luck in the contest.
boberto

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 04-Mar-2010
    Boberto,

    Wow...I'll take that praise any day...thank you so much. Smiles, Carol