Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Lonely Little Lilly"Short Stories
41 total reviews
Comment from vickib
This is so darn cute. I dicided that alliteration is perfect for children to read, and a perfect way to write to children. Congratulations on the BIG win. I'd like to try another one of these.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2010
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This is so darn cute. I dicided that alliteration is perfect for children to read, and a perfect way to write to children. Congratulations on the BIG win. I'd like to try another one of these.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2010
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vickib,
Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and the congrats...I appreciate it very much. Smiles, Carol
Comment from vandawalker
This is beautifully written and the picture is amazingly like the story. Which came first?
The words of description with the alliteration woven throughout is so imaginative.
Great job!
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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This is beautifully written and the picture is amazingly like the story. Which came first?
The words of description with the alliteration woven throughout is so imaginative.
Great job!
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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vandawalker,
Actually I wrote the story first and when looking for pictures I found this one...so I went back and added the red dress and shoes...Thank you for your kind response. Smiles to you, CArol
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Congratulations on your winning alliteration story. I voted for you.
Comment from wierdgrace
well you must have known something, as this short prompt is wonderful, the smooth reading, the verse, and song, and the character goes well with the artwork you pick, it is great, well done, no errors I could see, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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well you must have known something, as this short prompt is wonderful, the smooth reading, the verse, and song, and the character goes well with the artwork you pick, it is great, well done, no errors I could see, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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wierdgrace,
Thank you so much for the wonderful review...I truly appreciate the comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Deanita
I love your lovely little stories,
they always leave a smile,
(just what I needed)
I also love the short poems you
include in your story.
My favorite...
I tried to sing a little song,
A smile I hope to bring.
lilly finally cracked a little grin,
Oh mommy, please don't sing.
Good luch in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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I love your lovely little stories,
they always leave a smile,
(just what I needed)
I also love the short poems you
include in your story.
My favorite...
I tried to sing a little song,
A smile I hope to bring.
lilly finally cracked a little grin,
Oh mommy, please don't sing.
Good luch in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Deanita,
I too like the little fairy tales..Everyone needs a smile now and then. Thank you...Smiles to you, CArol
Comment from Shirley B
You did a great job.This is great alliteration. I read this to myself then I tried to outloud. It is much easier to myself. :-) It is a very cute story also. Good luck in the contest, Shirley
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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You did a great job.This is great alliteration. I read this to myself then I tried to outloud. It is much easier to myself. :-) It is a very cute story also. Good luck in the contest, Shirley
Comment Written 08-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Shirley,
Glad you enjoyed the story...Appreciate the comments. Smiles, CArol
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Carol,
very good I love all your alliterations-
to me it seems you had a lot of fun writing your cute little story.
Smiles and good luck.
Gert
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Hello Carol,
very good I love all your alliterations-
to me it seems you had a lot of fun writing your cute little story.
Smiles and good luck.
Gert
Comment Written 08-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Gert,
Thank you as always for your kind and generous thoughts. Smiles, Carol
Comment from chaswriter
Carol - This is a very delightful story using alliteration. Unfortunately, the contest rules were wrong in defining alliteration. Alliteration is the repetition of the same sound (not letter). For example, you wrote: "The gnarly, giant, oak tree spread its branches..." The 'g' in gnarly is silent thus this would not be an alliteration. But other than that, the story was a fun read about Lily and her day. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Charlie
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Carol - This is a very delightful story using alliteration. Unfortunately, the contest rules were wrong in defining alliteration. Alliteration is the repetition of the same sound (not letter). For example, you wrote: "The gnarly, giant, oak tree spread its branches..." The 'g' in gnarly is silent thus this would not be an alliteration. But other than that, the story was a fun read about Lily and her day. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Charlie
Comment Written 08-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Charlie,
Can't prove any of the rules by me...Glad that you enjoyed though. smiles, Carol
Comment from RobinWrites
I never knew what alliteration meant, but I've seen some things written this way before. I found this piece, whether it is alliteration or not, very enjoyable. The pictures it painted were quite vivid. I followed Little Lilly's day with great joy.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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I never knew what alliteration meant, but I've seen some things written this way before. I found this piece, whether it is alliteration or not, very enjoyable. The pictures it painted were quite vivid. I followed Little Lilly's day with great joy.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Robin,
Thank you so much for enjoying the story...I had no idea where or what I was doing...(but then I probably don't most of the time) LOL Smiles, CArol
Comment from IndianaIrish
There's only one word I have for this story, Carol ... WOW! I love alliteration but I've never read so much in my life. This must have been a huge headache...but you did such an excellent story that it doesn't seem over-powering. Best of luck to you!
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
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There's only one word I have for this story, Carol ... WOW! I love alliteration but I've never read so much in my life. This must have been a huge headache...but you did such an excellent story that it doesn't seem over-powering. Best of luck to you!
Indy :>)
Comment Written 08-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
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Indy,
I was worried where you had disappeared on me too...I even went to your site to make sure you hadn't checked out..glad it was a vacation. Glad you liked this silly little story...Wrote another Paddy and Frankie story too...I always think of you when writing about the two. smiles, Carol
Comment from smileycloud
hey
a simple story which you have elegantly turned into a mothers masterpiece expressing an exciting eventful excursion from a child-like vision and also endearing to the entire family as a reading book
the characters are so very much alive
the scenery is vivid and words used to address the prompt are not forced in any way at all they all fit smoothly into place just like the continuity and flow of the story itself
it certainly looks to me like you have entered the contest with exactly what was required and the alliteration is excellently executed
have a smiley day
good luck in the contest
I have young children in our family and I would dearly love to read this to them
the musical tones and the whimsical thoughts are very delightful
Lorraine
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
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hey
a simple story which you have elegantly turned into a mothers masterpiece expressing an exciting eventful excursion from a child-like vision and also endearing to the entire family as a reading book
the characters are so very much alive
the scenery is vivid and words used to address the prompt are not forced in any way at all they all fit smoothly into place just like the continuity and flow of the story itself
it certainly looks to me like you have entered the contest with exactly what was required and the alliteration is excellently executed
have a smiley day
good luck in the contest
I have young children in our family and I would dearly love to read this to them
the musical tones and the whimsical thoughts are very delightful
Lorraine
Comment Written 07-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
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Lorraine,
Thank you so much for the awesome review and the dusting of stars. Very generous and much appreciated. Smiles, CArol
