Reviews from

Contest Entry and Winners

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Lonely Little Lilly"
Short Stories

41 total reviews 
Comment from Amfunny
Excellent
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I enjoyed this....whatever it is. I don't know about these forms so I can't tell you. But I did enjoy it, especially the little poem. Well done, my friend. Cute story.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Amfunny,

    I just jumped in and gave it a shot...so far so good. Glad you enjoyed it. Smiles, CArol
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
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Begin Again - I've always loved using words that start with the same letter, although I didn't know what it was called until recently. I love your story and, in my opinion, I think you used aliteration to perfection. Bravo!!! Kat

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Kat,

    This was my first attempt so I am pleased that so many are enjoying it. Thank you very much. Smiles,Carol
Comment from hotstuff
Excellent
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This is a sweet childlike story that would appeal to children. It also seems to follow the rules set by the competition in my opinion as you have used alliteration many times starting with your first sentence and ending with your last. Good luck.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    hotstuff,

    Thanks for the kind review and comments. I appreciate your thoughts. Smiles, CArol
Comment from amada
Excellent
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I like alliterations so I was searching for them as a detective with a magnifient glass. I found very good ones, "fretting, fussing, and fuming," "sluggish snail sat sunbathing on a shiny." Geat job!

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    amada,

    Thank you so much for enjoying my first attempt at alliterations. I appreciate the comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from sugardog
Excellent
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This is one of the sweetest little alliterative stories I have ever read! I think you did exactly what the contest called for. Very creative and fun-this would be a great published children's story :) It made me smile. Nicely done! You are a very versatile writer- Dana

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Dana,

    Thank you very much for enjoying the story and for the very generous and kind comments. Smiles to you, Carol
reply by sugardog on 08-Mar-2010
    You're very welcome!
Comment from sgalletti
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I absolutely LOVED this piece Carol. It's exactly what needs to be done when writing a story filled with alliteration. Plus, it's a fun story to boot. This will be a very difficult piece to beat. It's terrific. Did you have as much fun writing it as I did reading it? Sue

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Sue,

    Awesome...my head has been pounding me to death so I wasn't sure I had done it right and it's awesome to have you (the expert) comment so generously on mine. Thank you...Smiles, Carol
Comment from Tellis
Excellent
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I don't know if it is what the contest calls for but I thought it was great. My daughter would have loved me to read this to her before bed when she was little. I think you should try and get this one published.

Tellis

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Tellis,

    What an awesome comment...I wasn't sure if I was doing it right but it seemed like fun so It's even better when others enjoyed it too. Smiles, CArol
Comment from closetpoetjester
Excellent
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I emphatically enjoyed your tell all tale of Little Lilly! Cheers for the great read and I think the aliteration added a extra nice descriptive touch to your writing. An excellent read and you are quite deserving of your rank... sincerely cpj

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    cpj,

    I'm deeply flattered by your comments and I am thrilled you enjoyed the story. Smiles, CArol
Comment from Phil Kitom
Excellent
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Wonderful, well written story, following faithfully,
fanstory creators certain criteria.
Carol can certainly write worthy works producing
perfectly powerful words with will...

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Phil,

    Thank you for cleverly using your alliteration to compliment my work...You always boost my self esteem whenever I hear from you. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sharesy
Excellent
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on top [of] the fence

as the car careened out of sight. - this made me smile. How fast was the dad driving?

This was a very cute story. The thing is, if the picture is any indication, isn't Lilly a little young to write? she looks about four.

I liked the song her mom sang.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Sharesy,

    Thank you so much for the assistance and comments. I appreciate it as always. Smiles, CArol