Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Never Again"Short Stories
44 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This is a great story. It was an easy read from beginning to end. You kept my attention from beginning to end. There is no room for improvement. It deserves the reward.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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This is a great story. It was an easy read from beginning to end. You kept my attention from beginning to end. There is no room for improvement. It deserves the reward.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2021
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thank you so much for reading and appreciating the depth of the story. It was a difficult one to write, but it was a story that needed to be told. Thank you so much!
Always, Carol
Comment from dmt1967
This is another great story and I was pulled into it from the first word. I felt the pain of the characters, their fear and anguish. Congratulations on a well deserved win and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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This is another great story and I was pulled into it from the first word. I felt the pain of the characters, their fear and anguish. Congratulations on a well deserved win and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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This particular story is a tough one! it happens so often in life and the joy of youth is ripped away from the innocent child. Glad he was caught! (oh yeah, I am the writer so I guess he had no choice) LOL Hugs, Carol
Comment from ShirleyT1
I love your fast-paced story filled with the pain of an abused and rejected teen, and a faithful little sister. Your characters are well developed and tug at the heart strings of the reader. Excellent job of skillful writing!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2021
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I love your fast-paced story filled with the pain of an abused and rejected teen, and a faithful little sister. Your characters are well developed and tug at the heart strings of the reader. Excellent job of skillful writing!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2021
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Forgive me... I am so far behind and trying to write, rewrite, review and thank is taking me down for the count. But then isn't that everyone's biggest complaint?
Thanks for the kind review. I needed to take a stroll down memory lane and knock some of the cobwebs off the shelf. Appreciate you taking the time to read and enjoy! Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
This theme weighs heavy on my heart... Poor children, so often silenced and threatened and psychologically as broken as they are physically defiled! It happens so often that these "upstanding gents" are anything but! Jack... Dare I say? I wouldn't have flinched if he'd died! I know of siblings who have had to witness the heartache of their younger sister (or brother!) being victim, as they were, because no one would believe them!
BTW?
Really great idea to put together a book of your contest winners and entries! Congrats on another winning write!
Karenina
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2021
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This theme weighs heavy on my heart... Poor children, so often silenced and threatened and psychologically as broken as they are physically defiled! It happens so often that these "upstanding gents" are anything but! Jack... Dare I say? I wouldn't have flinched if he'd died! I know of siblings who have had to witness the heartache of their younger sister (or brother!) being victim, as they were, because no one would believe them!
BTW?
Really great idea to put together a book of your contest winners and entries! Congrats on another winning write!
Karenina
Comment Written 23-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2021
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Thanks for the awesome review. I too have trouble with these stories but some times it is necessary to touch someone with them and hopefully they too might see. Thanks for the kind review. Smiles, Carol
I am way way far behind! But still very much appreciative!
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It's best to shine light on a festering wound... It disinfects...
Karenina
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow, what a story and I am glad that the pig of a man was finally caught in the act. What I don't get is how a mom can side against her kids. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Wow, what a story and I am glad that the pig of a man was finally caught in the act. What I don't get is how a mom can side against her kids. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Me either, Liz but I have seen it happen. They must be in such denial that they are blind to what is in front of them. Thanks for the kind review and the awesome stars as well. Smiles, Carol
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is an excellent story, Carol. I was truly wrapped up in the suspense of the moment. Well done! Men such as Jack are pure garbage and should be locked up, preying on young helpless girls AND boys to get their thrills. They are animals... Glad she didn't commit murder but she got him! LOL Nancy:)
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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This is an excellent story, Carol. I was truly wrapped up in the suspense of the moment. Well done! Men such as Jack are pure garbage and should be locked up, preying on young helpless girls AND boys to get their thrills. They are animals... Glad she didn't commit murder but she got him! LOL Nancy:)
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Yes, I am glad he got what he deserved. Thank you for your kind review and for taking the time to read my stories. I appreciate it very much. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
You did well to call attention to this serious and very pervasive problem of child sexual abuse, especially when the perpetrator is a non-biological parent. Dr. Phil once said that the chance of this happening to a child is 30 times higher, when living with a parental figure to whom he or she is not related, biologically. And often, the biological parent is guilty of protecting the offender.
Just a few minor errors and suggestions:
Mother's cold chiseled face visibly melted as she reached for my sister,
-->
Mother's cold, chiseled face visibly melted as she reached for my sister,
before sprinting the remainder way home.
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before sprinting the remainder of the way home.
I put my plan into action and headed for Gramp's house.
-->
I put my plan into action and headed for Gramps' house.
I headed for my destination, Gramp's bedroom closet.
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I headed for my destination, Gramps' bedroom closet.
His demonic laughter disappeared as he stared down the barrel of Gramp's gun.
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His demonic laughter disappeared as he stared down the barrel of Gramps' gun.
Look at your handshaking."
-->
Look at your hand shaking."
***
I can see why this story won first place in the contest. It was so well written and very powerful in its emotional impact!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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You did well to call attention to this serious and very pervasive problem of child sexual abuse, especially when the perpetrator is a non-biological parent. Dr. Phil once said that the chance of this happening to a child is 30 times higher, when living with a parental figure to whom he or she is not related, biologically. And often, the biological parent is guilty of protecting the offender.
Just a few minor errors and suggestions:
Mother's cold chiseled face visibly melted as she reached for my sister,
-->
Mother's cold, chiseled face visibly melted as she reached for my sister,
before sprinting the remainder way home.
-->
before sprinting the remainder of the way home.
I put my plan into action and headed for Gramp's house.
-->
I put my plan into action and headed for Gramps' house.
I headed for my destination, Gramp's bedroom closet.
-->
I headed for my destination, Gramps' bedroom closet.
His demonic laughter disappeared as he stared down the barrel of Gramp's gun.
-->
His demonic laughter disappeared as he stared down the barrel of Gramps' gun.
Look at your handshaking."
-->
Look at your hand shaking."
***
I can see why this story won first place in the contest. It was so well written and very powerful in its emotional impact!
Comment Written 22-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thank you for taking the time to read to show me your suggestions on fixing the story. I appreciate all your time. I have fixed it all. As always, you have been very helpful and I appreciate it.
Smiles, Carol
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You're so very welcome. I am so glad it helped, especially in a meaningful story such as this one. God bless you, my friend. Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Belated congrats on your well deserved prize. Gripping tale--devasating theme--brutal imagery is spot-on. Heartrending. Brilliant take on the theme.
typo: Look at your handshaking=>HAND SHAKING
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Belated congrats on your well deserved prize. Gripping tale--devasating theme--brutal imagery is spot-on. Heartrending. Brilliant take on the theme.
typo: Look at your handshaking=>HAND SHAKING
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thanks for reading and reviewing and enjoying my story. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You must have won every contest going, Carol! This was another exceptional piece of writing. I would have shot him where it REALLY would have hurt him, and laughed as I did it! Well done again, my friend. You are an incredibly talented writer. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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You must have won every contest going, Carol! This was another exceptional piece of writing. I would have shot him where it REALLY would have hurt him, and laughed as I did it! Well done again, my friend. You are an incredibly talented writer. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Me too! Trying to catch my breath and decide what comes next so I was grouping together the short stories, etc. I am glad you enjoyed this one. Thanks for the thoughtfulness and the encouragement. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ric Myworld
Sadly, situations like this happen every day, and next week, they are right back out on the streets to do it all again. More of them need to be shot or put through the same torture they dish out. Thanks for sharing another of your contest winning stories. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Sadly, situations like this happen every day, and next week, they are right back out on the streets to do it all again. More of them need to be shot or put through the same torture they dish out. Thanks for sharing another of your contest winning stories. Congratulations!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2021
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Thanks, Ric... I took a few days to recoup after finishing the story and decided to rummage through my old writings. Gathering them together so I can decide what's worthy of saving and what's not. Thank you for enjoying this one. Smiles, Carol
