Contest Entry and Winners
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Never Again"Short Stories
44 total reviews
Comment from DearlB
this is a well written, and interesting story that kept my attention from the beginning to the end.
There were no spag problems that I found.
Best of luck,
Dearl
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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this is a well written, and interesting story that kept my attention from the beginning to the end.
There were no spag problems that I found.
Best of luck,
Dearl
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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DearlB,
Thank you so much for the kind review and comments. Always appreciate hearing form you. smiles, Carol
Comment from RobinWrites
This is a riveting, well-written story. I was immersed in each word and hoped Carrie would be strong enough to survive. Very emotional and intense. Great job.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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This is a riveting, well-written story. I was immersed in each word and hoped Carrie would be strong enough to survive. Very emotional and intense. Great job.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Robin,
This story meant a lot to me and I am thrilled that you connected with my characters as well. Thank you so much. Smiles to you....
Comment from elizabethmay
I am new to this web site, this is my first review. I wanted to start with a story I enjoyed. The characters held my interest from the start, the threat to the little sister was there from the beginning expressed in the excellent dialogue. At the end of the piece I was left wishing she had killed him too! Regards EM
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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I am new to this web site, this is my first review. I wanted to start with a story I enjoyed. The characters held my interest from the start, the threat to the little sister was there from the beginning expressed in the excellent dialogue. At the end of the piece I was left wishing she had killed him too! Regards EM
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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EM
Welcome to FanStory. I hope that you enjoy the site. I am flattered that my story was the first one you read and even more thrilled that you enjoyed it. I appreciate your comments and hope that you become a fan and return for more stories. I'll be looking for your work as well. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from SamanthaD.
Wow. This is a very compelling story and a great read. I was totally engrossed the entire read! You have a talent for story telling and while the subjrct matter is horrid, the story itself is amazing. Good writing!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Wow. This is a very compelling story and a great read. I was totally engrossed the entire read! You have a talent for story telling and while the subjrct matter is horrid, the story itself is amazing. Good writing!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Samantha,
This story wrapped its fingers around me too so I am thrilled you enjoyed it...even though I know it happens too too often in life...Thanks again...Smiles to you...
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi,
When I hear about a child being sexually abused I get so mad. You wrote this story very well and I was engaged in it from the first line to the last. You keep the tension high and I think I was holding my breath as I read the words. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings...chey
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Hi,
When I hear about a child being sexually abused I get so mad. You wrote this story very well and I was engaged in it from the first line to the last. You keep the tension high and I think I was holding my breath as I read the words. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings...chey
Comment Written 15-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Chey,
Thank you so much for the kind review. It happens far far too often in our society...I appreciate your comments. Smiles to you...
Comment from patwannabe
Wow, author, that was a white knuckler. I'm so sorry about Carrie's past, but I'm very happy that Shannon has a future.
I don't think I could ever trust a step-father. It's bad enough to not be able to trust a father. I know about that one.
You did a masterful job with this. Great suspense, well constructed sentences and no SPaG. Keep writing, pat
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Wow, author, that was a white knuckler. I'm so sorry about Carrie's past, but I'm very happy that Shannon has a future.
I don't think I could ever trust a step-father. It's bad enough to not be able to trust a father. I know about that one.
You did a masterful job with this. Great suspense, well constructed sentences and no SPaG. Keep writing, pat
Comment Written 15-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Pat,
Not every stepfather is ugly and despicable...like all mankind, there are good and bad...This one deserved to be shot! Thanks for reading my story...Smiles to you...
Comment from anabelle
Yup! There are times in life when killing seems a viable option. There's no doubt that raping two of my daughters would do it for me.
Best of luck in the contest. Horrendous story and good entry.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Yup! There are times in life when killing seems a viable option. There's no doubt that raping two of my daughters would do it for me.
Best of luck in the contest. Horrendous story and good entry.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 14-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Anabelle,
An evil man was Jack...He deserved so much worse. Thanks for the kind comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Trybuck
An interesting story that we hope is over for now and especially hope it's over for Jack, for good.
I'm glad Carrie didn't kill Jack but hope he gets his due in court.
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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An interesting story that we hope is over for now and especially hope it's over for Jack, for good.
I'm glad Carrie didn't kill Jack but hope he gets his due in court.
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Buck,
Thank you for reading my story...a bit different write for me, I guess...Glad you enjoyed. Smiles to you....
Comment from Rama Rao
Excellent story.
I can't imagine a girl being raped by a step father with her mother as a witness. You've taken a very unusual incident and wove a nice story around it.
A few typos like use(d) to be, neither she, nor I had need your attention.
Secondly, I see you use some beats with your dialogues. Eg . I quizzed, she whimpered. I think these may be deleted as some of them are obvious.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Excellent story.
I can't imagine a girl being raped by a step father with her mother as a witness. You've taken a very unusual incident and wove a nice story around it.
A few typos like use(d) to be, neither she, nor I had need your attention.
Secondly, I see you use some beats with your dialogues. Eg . I quizzed, she whimpered. I think these may be deleted as some of them are obvious.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
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Ramarao,
Thanks for the read and the comments. I appreciate it very much. Smiles to you....
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Hopefully that filthy Jack still had his trousers around his knees when the police arrived.
This is a very good story built around the practice of child abuse by a stepfather.
I personally would hav eno trouble with every sex pervert
having their bits cut off. That way they would have to suffer longer.
Juliette
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Hopefully that filthy Jack still had his trousers around his knees when the police arrived.
This is a very good story built around the practice of child abuse by a stepfather.
I personally would hav eno trouble with every sex pervert
having their bits cut off. That way they would have to suffer longer.
Juliette
Comment Written 13-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
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Juliette,
i second the motion...I almost had Carrie shoot him in his privates, but decided maybe some would feel I went over the top. Thank you for your kind comments. Smiles to you....
