I Meant to Sail the Oceans
contemplative quatrains134 total reviews
Comment from Sally Carter
Ah, Brooke, how well you sum up my life also...
All those "one days" that never came to pass. And now, quite frankly, I can't summon up the energy.
What can I say about your poem that you don't already know? The meter is wonderful, and the words just melt off the page into the mind.
Superb, as ever. Yours. Sally
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Ah, Brooke, how well you sum up my life also...
All those "one days" that never came to pass. And now, quite frankly, I can't summon up the energy.
What can I say about your poem that you don't already know? The meter is wonderful, and the words just melt off the page into the mind.
Superb, as ever. Yours. Sally
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Sally. I am so glad the meaning of this came through to you. Brooke :-)
Comment from sgalletti
I loved this Brooke. The message is wonderful--how we often don't embark upon what we hoped we might and squander opportunities, reflecting "I wish I had..." But, what I liked especially was the unique syllable form and unusual rhyme form that came together beautifully. The poem read lyrically. I loved the result. Sue
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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I loved this Brooke. The message is wonderful--how we often don't embark upon what we hoped we might and squander opportunities, reflecting "I wish I had..." But, what I liked especially was the unique syllable form and unusual rhyme form that came together beautifully. The poem read lyrically. I loved the result. Sue
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Sue. Squandered opportunities - a perfect interpretation. Brooke :-)
Comment from hotstuff
I love this poem as who hasn't had dreams of doing something more exciting in life, but never end up following the dream? I hate to say this as your poem is great,(and I am not anywhere as experienced as you) but the first line of the last stanza spoilt the flow somehow. That line just didn't sound as smooth as the rest for me?
'But when day of departure'.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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I love this poem as who hasn't had dreams of doing something more exciting in life, but never end up following the dream? I hate to say this as your poem is great,(and I am not anywhere as experienced as you) but the first line of the last stanza spoilt the flow somehow. That line just didn't sound as smooth as the rest for me?
'But when day of departure'.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Thank you, hotstuff - I'll reread that line with your feedback in mind :-) Brooke
Comment from patmedium
A lovely funny poem... but, Brooke, also a lesson in life... you are only Brooke once... miss the boat and you've missed your chance! Thankyou for this one. I have enjoyed reading it. Pat.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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A lovely funny poem... but, Brooke, also a lesson in life... you are only Brooke once... miss the boat and you've missed your chance! Thankyou for this one. I have enjoyed reading it. Pat.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Pat - so glad you enjoyed :-) Brooke
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I am always glad to read yours. Pat.
Comment from mourningdove
Ooh, this gives me shivers. Shoulda, coulda, woulda--won't ever get us there. We deceive ourselves so often when our actions don't put feet to our dreams. A good one for me, personally. Should be a winner as far as I'm concerned. All the best in the contest,
Heather
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Ooh, this gives me shivers. Shoulda, coulda, woulda--won't ever get us there. We deceive ourselves so often when our actions don't put feet to our dreams. A good one for me, personally. Should be a winner as far as I'm concerned. All the best in the contest,
Heather
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Heather, thank you. I'm glad the message of this poem comes through for you. Brooke :-)
Comment from Amfunny
Excellent poem. I love the ending line. Just wonderful writing. Each line flowed smoothly and the rhythm was nice and peppy. I hope I didn't enter this one...would not stand a chance against this beautiful writing. Great job.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Excellent poem. I love the ending line. Just wonderful writing. Each line flowed smoothly and the rhythm was nice and peppy. I hope I didn't enter this one...would not stand a chance against this beautiful writing. Great job.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Norma Jean - your comments are most kind :-) Brooke
Comment from Arkine
Ah, journey's that haven't been taken. I can think of a few that I would have liked to go on, but haven't. Perhaps, one of these days. ;) Nice job! Just one thing::
But when [the] day of departure - this line just really bothered me, I don't know if it would mess up syllable thing though?
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Ah, journey's that haven't been taken. I can think of a few that I would have liked to go on, but haven't. Perhaps, one of these days. ;) Nice job! Just one thing::
But when [the] day of departure - this line just really bothered me, I don't know if it would mess up syllable thing though?
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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"The" would mess up the syllable count. I know that line will jar some, but to me it just adds to the poetic sound :-) Thanks, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent - the contents,
the flow of the words, rhythm
and rhyme, all excellent... but
I've not a six to offer, my friend.
As one of the best poets on site,
I don't know why you are not published.....Brooke.
Margaret.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Excellent - the contents,
the flow of the words, rhythm
and rhyme, all excellent... but
I've not a six to offer, my friend.
As one of the best poets on site,
I don't know why you are not published.....Brooke.
Margaret.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Margaret. I am moved by your words :-) Brooke
Comment from winsome
As always, A very lovely poem. Written will style and feeling. I would like to do all these things. I guess we do by reading. LOL
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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As always, A very lovely poem. Written will style and feeling. I would like to do all these things. I guess we do by reading. LOL
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Thank you, winsome. Yes, many of us do your exploration through reading. :-) Brooke
Comment from c_lucas
This poem reminds me of the Character in Tobacco Road. He had several good intentions, but never got around to acting on them. Very well written.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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This poem reminds me of the Character in Tobacco Road. He had several good intentions, but never got around to acting on them. Very well written.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2010
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Charlie, thank you for your perceptive comments :-) Brooke
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You're welocme, Brooke. Charlie
