There's a Light Up Ahead
Will I get there first?33 total reviews
Comment from anabelle
Cute story. Much more like romance than horror. :-0 Super job creeping us out and then melting it into a kiss.
Best of luck in the contest.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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Cute story. Much more like romance than horror. :-0 Super job creeping us out and then melting it into a kiss.
Best of luck in the contest.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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Thanks Anabelle, yes romance at the end - but it got you in! Thanks for your review and good luck wishes. Warmest regards, Marijke
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Totally got me in.
Comment from Angelite
well this is a different way to get the adrenalin rushing lol.
good piece of writing.
nice twist at the end
good luck
Angel
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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well this is a different way to get the adrenalin rushing lol.
good piece of writing.
nice twist at the end
good luck
Angel
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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Hi Angel, pleased you enjoyed this. Love to get the adrenalin going, then - wham! Thanks for your lovely review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Ann Smith
I like your little games too. Even though you know it's a game, it is the excitement of the race and pretend that makes your adrenaline rise. I can hear you panting and want you to run faster. The dialogue and the images were clear. Good luck with the contest. ann
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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I like your little games too. Even though you know it's a game, it is the excitement of the race and pretend that makes your adrenaline rise. I can hear you panting and want you to run faster. The dialogue and the images were clear. Good luck with the contest. ann
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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Hi Ann, pleased you enjoy my little games! Thanks for your lovely and warm comments and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Deanita
You had me going there for a while. I thought you were a little girl and were being kidnapped!
Your story is well written, it caught my interest from the beginning. It was very clever of your, the end certainly suprised me.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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You had me going there for a while. I thought you were a little girl and were being kidnapped!
Your story is well written, it caught my interest from the beginning. It was very clever of your, the end certainly suprised me.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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Pleased I had you going for a while. Thanks for your generous and warm review and rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from hotstuff
You had me scared to death as I read your poem. But what a twist at the end and such a relief too. I had to laugh. You really did have me fooled. You have a wicked sense of humour.
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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You had me scared to death as I read your poem. But what a twist at the end and such a relief too. I had to laugh. You really did have me fooled. You have a wicked sense of humour.
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
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You are right, I do have a wicked sense of humour (not always appreciated by those around me!). Thanks for your review and your generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from redrider6612
This was pretty good. I definitely didn't see that ending coming. The reason for the rating is that I didn't feel the inclusion of the shadow on the landing was natural. Aside from that, nice work, tight writing, good tension.
Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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This was pretty good. I definitely didn't see that ending coming. The reason for the rating is that I didn't feel the inclusion of the shadow on the landing was natural. Aside from that, nice work, tight writing, good tension.
Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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Hi redrider6612, thank you for your review and comments on this piece of writing. Your comment about the shadow on the landing is interesting, as no-one else has made that observation. But I truly appreiciate your honesty, and thank you for taking the time to read and review. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from Vicwhiskey
Ha, ha, ha...that's incredibly surprising, enjoyable and a little, okay, a lot naughty and I love that. Anyway, fantastic job, well written and keep at it. VW
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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Ha, ha, ha...that's incredibly surprising, enjoyable and a little, okay, a lot naughty and I love that. Anyway, fantastic job, well written and keep at it. VW
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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Hi VW, so pleased you enjoyed this little 'interlude'. A lot naughty - I love that too! Thank you so much for your fun review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment from melyuki
ha ha very clever little story marijke , i did laugh when i reached the end to find out what your twisted little tale was all about. rather gorgeous i must say and totally enjoyable. a little breath of fresh air so to speak. good luck in the contest, its a great fun story, luv it. sending big hugs and bundles of silly smiles, luv melxxxxx
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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ha ha very clever little story marijke , i did laugh when i reached the end to find out what your twisted little tale was all about. rather gorgeous i must say and totally enjoyable. a little breath of fresh air so to speak. good luck in the contest, its a great fun story, luv it. sending big hugs and bundles of silly smiles, luv melxxxxx
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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Thank you for the silly smiles. I'm pleased you enjoyed this little story. It kind of ended up going where it wasn't originally intended. I have a wicked mind! Thanks for the review and rating, my friend. Lots of hugs and smiles, from you silly friend across Bass Strait. Marijke
Comment from missy98writer
Marijke,
You naughty writer I was waiting for our narrator to get killed because you brilliantly built up the suspense with your wonderful writing. But then the whammy at the end and she's wasn't being harmed it was her husband chasing her for a kiss. They are on a honeymoon. It's not really horror because of the nice twist in the ending. The art work fools the reader into believing something horrific. You've written an awesome story in 200 words for the writing prompt. Good luck in the voting booth. Your friend. . .Melissa.
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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Marijke,
You naughty writer I was waiting for our narrator to get killed because you brilliantly built up the suspense with your wonderful writing. But then the whammy at the end and she's wasn't being harmed it was her husband chasing her for a kiss. They are on a honeymoon. It's not really horror because of the nice twist in the ending. The art work fools the reader into believing something horrific. You've written an awesome story in 200 words for the writing prompt. Good luck in the voting booth. Your friend. . .Melissa.
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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Hah, got you too! Thanks Melissa, for your fun review and generous rating on this little bit of naughtiness!
Warmest regards, my friend, Marijke
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I'm sharp like a knife but crazy like a fox. Like Sam I do not eat green eggs and hammy in the state of Miami, but my sister friend Stella eats salads in Salinas.
Sorry, I'm in a rhyming mood.
Your friend. . .Melissa.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
The first part of your story had all the hallmarks of a thriller, and possibly even a horror. You set the scenario up very skillfully.
The fact that the chaser turns out to be your new husband in no way deflects from the mood you have already created.
A good contest entry!
Juliette
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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The first part of your story had all the hallmarks of a thriller, and possibly even a horror. You set the scenario up very skillfully.
The fact that the chaser turns out to be your new husband in no way deflects from the mood you have already created.
A good contest entry!
Juliette
Comment Written 08-May-2010
reply by the author on 08-May-2010
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Hi Juliette, thank you for your warm and kind review on this little story of intrigue. I am pleased you enjoyed. Warmest regards, Marijke