Storytime
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Squashy Red Tomatoes"A book full of story poems
16 total reviews
Comment from writealot2
What a great story about a fun family and some neighbors who were in on the fun. This was delightful and had a very surprising ending. I really enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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What a great story about a fun family and some neighbors who were in on the fun. This was delightful and had a very surprising ending. I really enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 15-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Thank you so much for such a kind review, really glad you liked - Cally :)
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Cute poem! Lots of lovely descriptions and I can vividly imagine the scenes. Some very minor points for your consideration:
"What is for dinner?"
* Suggest "What's for dinner?" would be more realistic :D
"Be a sweety, Timmy
pop and see the neighbours,
* suggest: comma after 'Timmy' and '...pop over and see the neighbours,'
and maybe some milk?
* missing a " at the end of the line.
filled up his nose.
* suggest leaving out 'up'
can you give it her,
* suggest 'can you give it to her,'
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Cute poem! Lots of lovely descriptions and I can vividly imagine the scenes. Some very minor points for your consideration:
"What is for dinner?"
* Suggest "What's for dinner?" would be more realistic :D
"Be a sweety, Timmy
pop and see the neighbours,
* suggest: comma after 'Timmy' and '...pop over and see the neighbours,'
and maybe some milk?
* missing a " at the end of the line.
filled up his nose.
* suggest leaving out 'up'
can you give it her,
* suggest 'can you give it to her,'
Comment Written 15-May-2010
reply by the author on 15-May-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, ingemeldgaard. Thank you for your kind comments and correction suggestions, most of which I have changed. Cheers - Cally :)
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:D You're most welcome.
Comment from nucciwriter21
Great story! Your descriptions were great and the imagery was clear. My senses came alive reading this poem with all the different textures, and colors and tastes. The piece flowed smoothly from one thing to the next and it was quite a surprise that it was his birthday. I was definitely not expecting that. Great job!
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Great story! Your descriptions were great and the imagery was clear. My senses came alive reading this poem with all the different textures, and colors and tastes. The piece flowed smoothly from one thing to the next and it was quite a surprise that it was his birthday. I was definitely not expecting that. Great job!
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Thanks so much for your oh so encouraging review! Cheers - Cally :)
Comment from Arabellah
Hahahahahaha, Very funny. Full of smiles, sunshine and joy. I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.
Arabellah
P.S. I'm the only one who likes tomatoes in my family so....Sqiush!
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Hahahahahaha, Very funny. Full of smiles, sunshine and joy. I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing.
Arabellah
P.S. I'm the only one who likes tomatoes in my family so....Sqiush!
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Arabellah. Really glad it made you smile. Thanks again - Cally :)
Comment from adewpearl
What a fun, fun story poem this is of this little boy's surprise presents and birthday cake complete with candles - and he gets the squashy tomatoes to have fun with to top it all off - this is just so playful. Some poems are just a joy to read, and I'm feeling the joy :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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What a fun, fun story poem this is of this little boy's surprise presents and birthday cake complete with candles - and he gets the squashy tomatoes to have fun with to top it all off - this is just so playful. Some poems are just a joy to read, and I'm feeling the joy :-) Brooke
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Thanks Brooke! I didn't mean to hint that you should review this in my last reply, but I am really glad you have, as I'm quite proud of it! I am just reviewing so I can relist it, and try and get it recognised! Thanks again - Cally :-0
Comment from Nicki_Mist
Good luck in the contest you entered. This was a cute story in poetry poem. Don' most Mothers like to surprise their kids. I think a child would find this an intersting story too. Great job.
Nicole
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Good luck in the contest you entered. This was a cute story in poetry poem. Don' most Mothers like to surprise their kids. I think a child would find this an intersting story too. Great job.
Nicole
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thanks very much for your lovely review Nicole. I had not really thought that children might like it too, so thanks for the tip! Have a great day - Cally :)
Comment from Awatef
Tomatoes are my favorite vegetable. The title invited me to read your poem. No change of any details necessary. Cute one.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Tomatoes are my favorite vegetable. The title invited me to read your poem. No change of any details necessary. Cute one.
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thank you very much for your kind words and the very encouraging rating! So glad you liked! - Cally :)
Comment from skye
Wow, really cute and clever poem about a surprise birthday dinner and gifts.
Love the descriptive lines, the upbeat feeling, and the very typical, boyish, ending.
Well done.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Wow, really cute and clever poem about a surprise birthday dinner and gifts.
Love the descriptive lines, the upbeat feeling, and the very typical, boyish, ending.
Well done.
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hi skye, thank you so much for your very encouraging comments! I really enjoyed writing this one, don't know where it came from though? Thanks again for reviewing - Cally :)
Comment from MizKat
I think you did a fine job on the Food Glorious Food prompt. Your entry was a well written poetic story that held my interest throughout. Kat
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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I think you did a fine job on the Food Glorious Food prompt. Your entry was a well written poetic story that held my interest throughout. Kat
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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Thank you so much Kat for taking time to read and review, and for such kind comments :)
Comment from Belinda
Poor Timmy, having to go here and there to give Mom the time to provide his birthday treat. Nice story within a poem, and interesting entry to the glorious food contest.
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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Poor Timmy, having to go here and there to give Mom the time to provide his birthday treat. Nice story within a poem, and interesting entry to the glorious food contest.
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 10-May-2010
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Thanks so much Belinda for reading and reviewing, and for your nice comments :)
