Storytime
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The tale of a harvest mouse"A book full of story poems
10 total reviews
Comment from Bellringer
Very well done story poem that is endearing and highly entertaining. Like they say "It's better to be lucky, than good." A strong contender in this competition. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2010
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Very well done story poem that is endearing and highly entertaining. Like they say "It's better to be lucky, than good." A strong contender in this competition. Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2010
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Hi Bellringer, thanks very much for reviewing - Cally :)))
Comment from skye
Seamlessly woven into your fun little poem are the required words, painting a wonderful picture of life.
Your artwork is a very nice choice.
Loved the fantasy and joyful feeling of this poem.
Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2010
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Seamlessly woven into your fun little poem are the required words, painting a wonderful picture of life.
Your artwork is a very nice choice.
Loved the fantasy and joyful feeling of this poem.
Well done.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2010
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Thank you for reviewing, skye, and for the wonderfully encouraging comments - Cally :)))
Comment from MissMerri
A well-written and totally entertaining little story, which used all the required words beautifully. I enjoyed the even meter and comfortable rhymes all the way through. A fun poem.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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A well-written and totally entertaining little story, which used all the required words beautifully. I enjoyed the even meter and comfortable rhymes all the way through. A fun poem.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Thank you very much for reviewing, MissMerri, and for such lovely encouraging comments, cheers :)))
Comment from kylielynn
A very nice story poem. It flowed well. "He knew t'would be the death of him,
when mighty bird of prey did'st lurch." my favorite lines. best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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A very nice story poem. It flowed well. "He knew t'would be the death of him,
when mighty bird of prey did'st lurch." my favorite lines. best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Hi kylielynn, thanks so much for reading and reviewing, much appreciated :))
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, a wonderful lyrical tale about the young mouse, i enjoyed reading it and i wish you well in the contest
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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this is very well written with good form, good flow, good meter, a wonderful lyrical tale about the young mouse, i enjoyed reading it and i wish you well in the contest
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Hi sweetwoodjax, thank you so much for your detailed review - cheers :)))
Comment from daniela.albu
This is another poem in the contest that has not used the word "parrot". Still the story of this harvest mouse is convincing and the lively prancing rhyme, makes the poem charming to read.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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This is another poem in the contest that has not used the word "parrot". Still the story of this harvest mouse is convincing and the lively prancing rhyme, makes the poem charming to read.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Hi daniela.albu, thank you for reviewing, glad you liked! Yes, it would have been nice to use all 8 words but we only had to use 7 out of 8, and I wanted to keep this story cute and old wordly, so I cheated!! lol Thanks again :)))
Comment from Tristeagan
Excellent use of the words and a lovely story too. You have done very well. I wonder about these lines
"He knew t'would be the death of him,
when mighty bird of prey does lurch."
it seems to have a mixed tense.
Other than that very enjoyable..well done!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Excellent use of the words and a lovely story too. You have done very well. I wonder about these lines
"He knew t'would be the death of him,
when mighty bird of prey does lurch."
it seems to have a mixed tense.
Other than that very enjoyable..well done!
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Hi Tristeagan, thank you so much for reviewing and for the tip about tense - I have now adjusted 'does' to 'did'st' - hopefully that works better? Cheers :)))
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That works perfectly. Beautiful poem.
Comment from Nicki_Mist
Thnak God for Mighty Mouse lol. This was actaully cute and suspenceful for I figured he had bit the dust for the owl. But, i under estimated Might Miuse huh? Good rhythm and imagery so keep on writing like you do. Good luck in the contest.
Nicole
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Thnak God for Mighty Mouse lol. This was actaully cute and suspenceful for I figured he had bit the dust for the owl. But, i under estimated Might Miuse huh? Good rhythm and imagery so keep on writing like you do. Good luck in the contest.
Nicole
Comment Written 21-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Hi Nicole, than you so much for reviewing, so glad you enjoyed the suspense! Cheers :)))
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a really fun poem that cleverly uses the required number of supplied words to tell a good story. (Would be a good children's story.) Nice rollicking rhythm and flow. Best wishes to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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This is a really fun poem that cleverly uses the required number of supplied words to tell a good story. (Would be a good children's story.) Nice rollicking rhythm and flow. Best wishes to you in the contest, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Hi Jeanie Mercer, thank you so much for such an encouraging review :)))
Comment from menachem
I have to say, although I was pretty sure Dawnspinner would survive, (Why ELSE would it take so long), you had me there for a second.
Very touching, nice job.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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I have to say, although I was pretty sure Dawnspinner would survive, (Why ELSE would it take so long), you had me there for a second.
Very touching, nice job.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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Thank you for reviewing, menachem - glad you found some suspense in this - cheers :)))
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Cheers!
