Reviews from

Flash Fiction

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "A Promise From The Heart"
Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.

22 total reviews 
Comment from Readywriter52
Excellent
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It feel like I came in the middle of a conversation. I wonder what lie he told and why his mother thought he would never lie again.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010

    Life still has me in a strangle hold but I hope to be back soon. Thank you for enjoying my work and the continued encouragement. Smiles, CArol
Comment from MizKat
Excellent
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Hello - Your micro fiction story is touching and sweet. I enjoyed reading it and finding out it was a conversation between a mother and son. Very well written. Kat

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010

    Life still has me in a strangle hold but I hope to be back soon. Thank you for enjoying my work and the continued encouragement. Smiles, CArol
Comment from Sally Carter
Excellent
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Neat and charming, and with a clever pay off. I didn't guess what was coming, yet the scene was entirely convincing and likely.
This is the best of the entries I have read so far, though I have a few to go. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Good luck.
Sally

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
    Sorry for such a late thank you, but I do appreciate your support..Smiles, Carol
Comment from Minglement
Excellent
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This is a terrific entry for the micro fiction contest. You tell a complete story and end with a lovely surprise, revealing your characters unsuspected relationshiop. Lovely message and great artwork! Goo d luck.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
    Sorry for such a late thank you, but I do appreciate your support..Smiles, Carol
reply by Minglement on 08-Sep-2010
    You're so welcome, time frame or no. Take care, Marcia
Comment from hotstuff
Excellent
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Just thought I would check some of your postings that I have missed. What a sweet story and one so many of us can relate to. It has put a huge smile on my face.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
    Been gone for so long and can't return as yet..but I needed to say thank you for the suppport. Smiles, Carol
Comment from anabelle
Excellent
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Cute story. Good little boys do keep their promises. At least, some of the time.

I especially liked the sunbeam creating a halo.

Best of luck in the contest.

Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2010


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2010
    Anabelle.

    Thank you very much for the kind review. I too like to remember how my little boys thought the world circled around their mom...it's a shame they have to grow up. Smiles to you...
reply by anabelle on 02-Aug-2010
    It's a shame on one hand, and a pleasure to see who they've become on the other.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2010
    Oh so true...This week end my youngest son was able to follow his dream and produced a short film for an upcoming festival...from a flash fiction story I wrote. My mother's pride spilled over everywhere...shed a tear or two when I saw how he came out of his cocoon when producing...a different person for sure.
Comment from RobinWrites
Excellent
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This short story started out as a marriage proposal and ended with a lesson from a mother to a child. Great job of mis-direction and surprise. Love this.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Robin,

    Glad you found the ending a surprise...I love those twists that leave the reader guessing. Smiles to you...
Comment from rose42benn
Excellent
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What a great way to explain the love little boys have for their mothers. This is a very clever piece and it really made me smile.
rose

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Rose,


    Sorry for being so far behind...had to steal a few minutes this morning to thank everyone. I truly appreciate your encouragement and constant support. Smiles to you...
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Excellent
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The reader waits expectantly for the bride and groom to be revealed. Instead it is a little boy looking at his mother.
Well set up, and well told.
Best wishes for the contest.


Juliette



 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Juliette,

    Thanks for the wonderful review. Glad you enjoyed. Smiles to you...
Comment from suneagle
Good
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Well done with this contest entry. All the elements of a story are present and a surprise twist makes us smile.

I suggest two minor adjustments:

Her arms wrapped tightly around him, enfolding him with her love.
(Delete "tightly"--superfluous adverb. The context is enough to 'show' the tightness--"wrapped" and "enfolding" are good descriptive verbs:
Her arms wrapped around him, enfolding him with her love.)

She smiled[.] "Good little boys always keep their promises."
(Comma changed to period. A "smile" is a facial expression, not an attribution of speech.)


Thank you for the entertaining and enjoyable microfiction.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 31-Jul-2010
    Suneagle,

    I always appreciate your expert opinions and suggestions. Thank you for your assistance.
    Smiles to you.....