Invisible invasion
what happens under the cloak of darkness27 total reviews
Comment from donnadiann
This is truly a fine visual to an actual event. The creative descriptions used in this poem are just amazing. The suspense leading up to when you tell the reader what's going on, is so dramatic that it seems it is a nightmare. I really like the poem. I don't know why the three stars were cliked, I meant five, because this is such a well written poem. Sorry, here are the revised stars.
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reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
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This is truly a fine visual to an actual event. The creative descriptions used in this poem are just amazing. The suspense leading up to when you tell the reader what's going on, is so dramatic that it seems it is a nightmare. I really like the poem. I don't know why the three stars were cliked, I meant five, because this is such a well written poem. Sorry, here are the revised stars.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
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I do thank you for your comments.
Comment from fairydancer
Very good title for this poem about the fear experienced from an armed burglary.
You say this is based on a real event - I feel for you, this must have been awful, and as you say, remain with the you for a long time after.
Powerful word choices and good flow make this emotive poem excellent - Cally :)
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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Very good title for this poem about the fear experienced from an armed burglary.
You say this is based on a real event - I feel for you, this must have been awful, and as you say, remain with the you for a long time after.
Powerful word choices and good flow make this emotive poem excellent - Cally :)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your comments, your sympathy, and especially for mentioning the title.
Comment from LibraryLady418072
What is interesting is how the poem take me in one direction in thinking that it is a werewolf and them puts me back in the mundane. It is fascinating how someone can know that someone is lurking ion the dark and yet not here a thing. It make the poem even more frightening.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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What is interesting is how the poem take me in one direction in thinking that it is a werewolf and them puts me back in the mundane. It is fascinating how someone can know that someone is lurking ion the dark and yet not here a thing. It make the poem even more frightening.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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You have grasped the nuances exactly. Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi julia,
If this is a true event I imagine you have had many nightmares about it. You did a good job of telling this story. Your words are stark and powerful with feelings of fear in the lines. It doesn't show this as a contest entry so you might want to check that out. Well done and good luck...blessings, chey
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
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Hi julia,
If this is a true event I imagine you have had many nightmares about it. You did a good job of telling this story. Your words are stark and powerful with feelings of fear in the lines. It doesn't show this as a contest entry so you might want to check that out. Well done and good luck...blessings, chey
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
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Thanks so much.
Comment from KimBG9508
I feel this is an outstanding poem! I was immediately drawn into it and your use of the descriptive phrases that begin every verse create such visual and emotional ties to the horrendous experience. The only word I paused at, and questioned, was in the third verse, second line: "...to the iron 'bounds' of instinct." Perhaps, iron 'boundry'... because of when I read "bounds" I thought you meant "bonds"...Just not sure, however it didn't take away my awe of the over-all piece.
I cannot imagine going through such an ordeal and sadly, many have. Thanks for a wonderful read. Regards, Kim
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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I feel this is an outstanding poem! I was immediately drawn into it and your use of the descriptive phrases that begin every verse create such visual and emotional ties to the horrendous experience. The only word I paused at, and questioned, was in the third verse, second line: "...to the iron 'bounds' of instinct." Perhaps, iron 'boundry'... because of when I read "bounds" I thought you meant "bonds"...Just not sure, however it didn't take away my awe of the over-all piece.
I cannot imagine going through such an ordeal and sadly, many have. Thanks for a wonderful read. Regards, Kim
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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I surely appreciate your comments and your rating. Thanks for the query. I'll certainly look into it.
Comment from Amicus
Excellent depiction of that sixth sense that kicks in when one is truly in danger and knows it and of the residual fear that occurs after one has been the victim of an invasive crime. Smooth flow and vivid images make this very effective.
Good luck in the competition.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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Excellent depiction of that sixth sense that kicks in when one is truly in danger and knows it and of the residual fear that occurs after one has been the victim of an invasive crime. Smooth flow and vivid images make this very effective.
Good luck in the competition.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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So pleased you liked this. And thanks for the encouraging words.
Comment from writer c
This is very emotional and gripping. It progresses as a story, and keeps my attention. The ending is so rooted in the reality of such an experience, when hypervigilance becomes a partner for survival. I really like the authenticity of the piece.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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This is very emotional and gripping. It progresses as a story, and keeps my attention. The ending is so rooted in the reality of such an experience, when hypervigilance becomes a partner for survival. I really like the authenticity of the piece.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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I'm so grateful that you stopped by, and for your insightful comments.
Comment from Triple P
Nice. I love it when I have to reread a poem to capture its full meaning. Your fear, then relief, then recurring fear are perfectly described. Wonderful imagery. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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Nice. I love it when I have to reread a poem to capture its full meaning. Your fear, then relief, then recurring fear are perfectly described. Wonderful imagery. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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I'm glad you really got into it. Thanks for taking the time to post such a positive review.
Comment from Father Flaps
This is a fine poem, and good entry for this contest!
I was compelled to read on with each "no sound".
You compared the night robber to a wolf... (I wondered how it got into the house initially)... the wolf known for its ability to stalk, and seeking a vulnerable prey.
My favorite parts of your poem...
"fear gags my whimpering moans"
"swollen with evil intent"
Nicely done!
Kim
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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This is a fine poem, and good entry for this contest!
I was compelled to read on with each "no sound".
You compared the night robber to a wolf... (I wondered how it got into the house initially)... the wolf known for its ability to stalk, and seeking a vulnerable prey.
My favorite parts of your poem...
"fear gags my whimpering moans"
"swollen with evil intent"
Nicely done!
Kim
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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The human intruder entered by breaking the lock on a sliding door. No doubt his wolf alter ego slipped in with him. LOL. Thanks for the positive and encouraging review.
Comment from Melba
I really liked this poem. You captured the horror so well. Horror is soundless and motionless. It is however aware of the motion surrounding him and aware of the danger. Well done.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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I really liked this poem. You captured the horror so well. Horror is soundless and motionless. It is however aware of the motion surrounding him and aware of the danger. Well done.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
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Thnak you. You have grasped the essence of what I tried to convey.