Storytime
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Hope Shines On!"A book full of story poems
11 total reviews
Comment from daniela.albu
Quite an interesting poem. Even without the author notes it manages to convey a powerful message of destruction and then rebirth in the phoenix syle. It also dwells on the idea of having a second chance in this universe. The format is as original as the contents, slightly evoking an hourglass.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
  |
Quite an interesting poem. Even without the author notes it manages to convey a powerful message of destruction and then rebirth in the phoenix syle. It also dwells on the idea of having a second chance in this universe. The format is as original as the contents, slightly evoking an hourglass.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi daniela.albu, thank you for your thoughtful review :)))
Comment from adewpearl
crescendos of sunbeams - love that phrase
it's time had come/ it's planets/ it's core/it's surprise/it's light - drop the apostrophes - it's = contraction for it is
our great Creator's gracious gift - add the apostrophe since Creator's needs it to show possession - I would also capitalize Creator
This is a beautifully thoughtful and thought-provoking poem, Cally : -) Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
|
crescendos of sunbeams - love that phrase
it's time had come/ it's planets/ it's core/it's surprise/it's light - drop the apostrophes - it's = contraction for it is
our great Creator's gracious gift - add the apostrophe since Creator's needs it to show possession - I would also capitalize Creator
This is a beautifully thoughtful and thought-provoking poem, Cally : -) Brooke
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi Brooke, thanks for reviewing, the spag tips (now adjusted) and your thoughtful comments - Cally :)))
Comment from Renee' J Thomas
I found this very interesting and I enjoyed reading the authors notes, it is nice to read something about something someone has done so much research on, nice job.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
|
I found this very interesting and I enjoyed reading the authors notes, it is nice to read something about something someone has done so much research on, nice job.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi Rose Parkinson,
thanks for your thoughtful review :)))
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Very beautiful poem with lovely flow and wonderful images. a pleasure to read. I like the way you've left out capitalisation and kept punctuation to a minimum - speaks volumes about your poem in that it is still easy to read and understand.
typo: creator's
to take of our great creators gracious gift
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
|
Very beautiful poem with lovely flow and wonderful images. a pleasure to read. I like the way you've left out capitalisation and kept punctuation to a minimum - speaks volumes about your poem in that it is still easy to read and understand.
typo: creator's
to take of our great creators gracious gift
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi there, first of all, thanks for the spag tips, now adjusted! Thanks very much for your thoughtful and very encouraging review :)))
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is an excellent, dramatic metaphor of the death and renewed life of a star as it seems to apply also to our own death and renewal of Hope. Best wishes to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
|
This is an excellent, dramatic metaphor of the death and renewed life of a star as it seems to apply also to our own death and renewal of Hope. Best wishes to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 05-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi Jeanie, thanks for your insightful review, much appreciated! :)))
Comment from Melba
Beautifully written and well discribed beginning of new star Hope. It is well formatted and in perfect order. your words chosen well to receive the expressive crescendo you wished to achieve with a happy ending in a new solar system the gift of light remains in Hope.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
|
Beautifully written and well discribed beginning of new star Hope. It is well formatted and in perfect order. your words chosen well to receive the expressive crescendo you wished to achieve with a happy ending in a new solar system the gift of light remains in Hope.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi Melba, thank you so much for your thoughtful review and insightful comments :)))
Comment from chells36
This work is neat and clear .
The writing has a somewhat hopeful ring in its wordful wisdom .
A very well chosen picture will always make the writing stand out far more than if it were alone.
Well done , nice work
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
|
This work is neat and clear .
The writing has a somewhat hopeful ring in its wordful wisdom .
A very well chosen picture will always make the writing stand out far more than if it were alone.
Well done , nice work
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi chells36, thank you for reviewing and your great rating :)))
Comment from Alan K Pease
The last item in Pandora', box was hope If that can disappear into a black hole we are all lost. I see you resurrected it in the last stanza -thank God-and you do. Excellent poem written with passion. Graphics fit the poem. Its excellent!
Astronomer or Astrologer or both?
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
|
The last item in Pandora', box was hope If that can disappear into a black hole we are all lost. I see you resurrected it in the last stanza -thank God-and you do. Excellent poem written with passion. Graphics fit the poem. Its excellent!
Astronomer or Astrologer or both?
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2010
-
Hi Alan K Pease,
not astronomer or astrologer - ex-researcher! Needed to research this actually, found it fascinating!
Thanks a lot for your review and encouraging words :)))
Comment from Jetco
Nice free verse about the birth of a new earth and a new heaven or is it a star. Am I correct in assuming that. A nice rhythmic flow which hard to achieve in fee stream or it is for me.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
|
Nice free verse about the birth of a new earth and a new heaven or is it a star. Am I correct in assuming that. A nice rhythmic flow which hard to achieve in fee stream or it is for me.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
-
Hi Jetco - a new solar system with planets and their sun (a star).
Thanks so much for your generous review and rating - much appreciated!!!
I find 'occasional rhymes' improve the poetic flow of free verse, but that might be just me!?
Take care - Cally :)))
Comment from GoodieMama
I like this poem, it's beautiful. It didn't move me so I gave it a four star rating. Not for adjustments needed, but because I didn't love it. I really did like it though. ****-Good work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
 |
I like this poem, it's beautiful. It didn't move me so I gave it a four star rating. Not for adjustments needed, but because I didn't love it. I really did like it though. ****-Good work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2010
-
Hi GoodieMama, and thank you for your review! Yes, although I wrote this poem for the 'feelings' contest, I think it would have done better in, say, the free verse contest - we live and learn! (hopefully!)
Thanks again - Cally :)))
