Flash Fiction
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Unnamed and Untamed"Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.
40 total reviews
Comment from Readywriter52
The rattler seems to set off a line of misfortunes starting with biting the horse. It reared and threw its rider, which killed her. Riding a horse can be dangerous.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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The rattler seems to set off a line of misfortunes starting with biting the horse. It reared and threw its rider, which killed her. Riding a horse can be dangerous.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Time has escaped me and left me in an abyss I think..Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this..Carol
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hello writer,
There is lots of action in your micro fiction and you told a sad but good story painting a scene from it in eloquent words. It was interesting to read all these great entries. Best wishes to you.
Cheers, W ^-^
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hello writer,
There is lots of action in your micro fiction and you told a sad but good story painting a scene from it in eloquent words. It was interesting to read all these great entries. Best wishes to you.
Cheers, W ^-^
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Time has escaped me and left me in an abyss I think..Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this..Carol
Comment from marcii
A great story that flowed well and was a delight to read.
Although you did the right amount of words, the other part of the rules was that you need to have at least %10 speech.
Marcii
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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A great story that flowed well and was a delight to read.
Although you did the right amount of words, the other part of the rules was that you need to have at least %10 speech.
Marcii
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Time has escaped me and left me in an abyss I think..Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review this..Carol
Comment from L.lora
Wow, you are getting
really good at this
micro stuff...great
descriptive passages,
smooth flow; just overall
well crafted and enjoyable.
no nits or spags. Lora
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Wow, you are getting
really good at this
micro stuff...great
descriptive passages,
smooth flow; just overall
well crafted and enjoyable.
no nits or spags. Lora
Comment Written 23-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Lora,
Been away from the site for so long and miss you and all my friends. Thank you for enjoying my work and I hope to be back soon. I truly miss the pleasure. Smiles, Carol
Comment from fictionwriter
How sad. I love the horses and riding is my favorite pasttime after writing. It's hard to see those type of mishaps. great job.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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How sad. I love the horses and riding is my favorite pasttime after writing. It's hard to see those type of mishaps. great job.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Joy,
Thanks again for reading and enjoying..smiles to you
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
This violent episode is quite a contrast with your more serene scenes and stories. But this piece confronts vividly, succinctly and briefly the violence sometiems in life.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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This violent episode is quite a contrast with your more serene scenes and stories. But this piece confronts vividly, succinctly and briefly the violence sometiems in life.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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A belated but deeply felt thank you...Smiles, Carol
Comment from jadapenn
This was truly a sad tale about horse and rider. One snake and two deaths and you tamed this all in 103 words. It was gripping and interesting.
Well written. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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This was truly a sad tale about horse and rider. One snake and two deaths and you tamed this all in 103 words. It was gripping and interesting.
Well written. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Jada,
Life still has me in a strangle hold but I hope to be back soon. Thank you for enjoying my work and the continued encouragement. Smiles, CArol
Comment from dmjones
Hi Carol, It took me a minute to get it, too early I guess, so I read it a couple of times. Now I get it, the wild stallion is bidding goodbye to the other horse and Amy. They went over the cliff when the snake bit the horse.
I do have one suggestion and really it's only that because it's good the way it is. I was thinking you add a little suspense to this by moving the paragraph starting with "The wild stallion... to the second paragraph. Making "In the valley... to the third and maybe say "In the valley below him,...
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2010
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Hi Carol, It took me a minute to get it, too early I guess, so I read it a couple of times. Now I get it, the wild stallion is bidding goodbye to the other horse and Amy. They went over the cliff when the snake bit the horse.
I do have one suggestion and really it's only that because it's good the way it is. I was thinking you add a little suspense to this by moving the paragraph starting with "The wild stallion... to the second paragraph. Making "In the valley... to the third and maybe say "In the valley below him,...
Comment Written 22-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2010
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Strange...that's how I originally wrote it but change it because some one was confused who Amy and the fallen horse were. They thought I had more horses and people. But adding one word (him) ...Thank You...seems to clarify it more. Appreciate the help...Smiles
Comment from Colette
Again! a challenge and you are no stranger to a challenge
as you writing will prove. This piece showed strength yet
gentle compassion. Well written.
Colette
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2010
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Again! a challenge and you are no stranger to a challenge
as you writing will prove. This piece showed strength yet
gentle compassion. Well written.
Colette
Comment Written 21-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2010
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Colette,
Colette,
Glad that you enjoyed the connection between the wild, untamed and the poor deceased....Even the wildest of beasts can care for others. Smiles to you
Comment from dportwood
Good luck in the Micro Fiction contest.
How could one like me resist reading this story with the artwork calling to me. Well done in its tragic message.
Duane
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2010
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Good luck in the Micro Fiction contest.
How could one like me resist reading this story with the artwork calling to me. Well done in its tragic message.
Duane
Comment Written 21-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2010
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Dunae,
Yes...that lovely black stallion could have easily been in one of your wonderful poems. Glad you enjoyed him. Smiles....
