Climbing Capitan
Facing El Capitan30 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Oh, my! Horror is certainly the appropriate category for this. Glad it's only metaphorical. Well written. Wonderful photo choice.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Oh, my! Horror is certainly the appropriate category for this. Glad it's only metaphorical. Well written. Wonderful photo choice.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Hi there! Thank you very much! I really appreciate this kind review!! ") Susan
Comment from Daylok
Excellent Thiller. I really love the ending. I nice tribute to your fanfriend. Picture is perfect and has that powerfull effect to begin your story!! ell done!-Daylok
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Excellent Thiller. I really love the ending. I nice tribute to your fanfriend. Picture is perfect and has that powerfull effect to begin your story!! ell done!-Daylok
Comment Written 02-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Hi again Day!! Thanks! ") Yes, that picture is so neat! It is eerie.? I appreciate your review, and letting me know your fav part too. I will catch up to you Day, as soon as I can...I am so tired. "( Susan
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Hi again Day!! Thanks! ") Yes, that picture is so neat! It is eerie.? I appreciate your review, and letting me know your fav part too. I will catch up to you Day, as soon as I can...I am so tired. "( Susan
Comment from Judian James
Did the "Fanfriend" die or just leave the site? This is very good. I don't do "horror" well, so I almost passed on this one. I'm so glad I didn't. It isn't horrific as much as horrible. How sad and definitely possible. A well written piece. Do you climb?
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Did the "Fanfriend" die or just leave the site? This is very good. I don't do "horror" well, so I almost passed on this one. I'm so glad I didn't. It isn't horrific as much as horrible. How sad and definitely possible. A well written piece. Do you climb?
Comment Written 02-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Hi Judian, I am so sorry for this late reply...it was E.P. Thomas, such a nice person. SO helpful and kind. To many here. He climbed El Capitan when he was young and lost a friend to the mountain. So I put that to this metaphor. I climbed a trail once in Wyoming to try to reach a summit. Got scared and came down, it wasn't climbing, more hiking. Just beautiful. I climb now, up and down basement stairs doing laundry. It kills me! lol! ") HUG! Susan
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Oh, Gary was so talented and smart. I tried to get him to stay.
He was so frustrated and just fed up with how things are done here.
I will miss his sharp prose too.
Nice gesture Sue.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I certainly wouldn't climb somewhere if I didn't know how to get down. I guess I missed something along the way. I am really tired tonight.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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I certainly wouldn't climb somewhere if I didn't know how to get down. I guess I missed something along the way. I am really tired tonight.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Me too Barbara, I hope you feel better soon. I am in a funk, just feeling awful. I am sick of winter already. And thank you for reading this for me Barb. I always appreciate! Luv, susan
Comment from missy98writer
Susan,
your flash fiction story is very written and an enjoyable read. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative, very good dialogue and great descriptive writing. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. Gorgeous art work. I like your alliterated title. How terrible Marty plunged to his death. Poor woman I could see her clinging for her life knowing her husband went over the end and met with death. Thanks for sharing your thrilling flash fiction story.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Susan,
your flash fiction story is very written and an enjoyable read. Your story paints a picture in the readers head. Excellent narrative, very good dialogue and great descriptive writing. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. Gorgeous art work. I like your alliterated title. How terrible Marty plunged to his death. Poor woman I could see her clinging for her life knowing her husband went over the end and met with death. Thanks for sharing your thrilling flash fiction story.
Melissa.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Hi Melissa! Thank you, and you're welcome too. I am always glad to see you like something I try. Your input is so helpful and encouraging. I would nominate you every time if I could as a great reviewer. Thank you again my friend...hug...Susan
Comment from Glynnis W
Suz,
To add some authenticity to this you shd do a little research on rock climbing, especially climbing the 3000 foot El Capitan." With approximately 70 different climbing routes identified, there are always multiple teams of climbers on 'The Cap' at any one time during climbing season. Spring and Fall are the best seasons. Summer climbing on El Cap is common place, but the sun glare and heat radiating off the granite face wears on a climber very quickly. Regardless of the season, the face of El Cap is always very chilly because of the altitude, cloud cover, winds, and rapid heat loss of the rock at night. It's similiar to the desert -- you cook during the day and freeze at night.
Unless there is a storm brewing, the wind is rarely what I wd describe as buffeting. It certainly wdn't unbalance a climber. This is where research is so important. Unless a climber is free climbing, i.e., without the aide of pitons, biners, ropes, etc. a climber is usually pretty secure during ascents. It's the first climber, the leader, who is in the greatest danger of falling. However, if proper procedures are followed, a lead climber seldom falls far enough to severely injury him/herself shd they slip. Believe me, feeling your abraided and chalked-up fingers slipping free of the rock face at 2500 feet is enough to instantly fill your shorts.
When a climber falls, there isn't much to hear outside of his or her curses or cries. Sometimes there might be a faint 'pinging' if pitons pop out of the rock near a climber. But you have to remember that at that height there's a constant breeze. That alone quickly carries away sound. In relationship to your story, the second climber cd have not fallen free of the lead climber because they are linked by their rope. One climber is always 'belaying' another in stages during an ascent. The one exception is when climbers are 'free' climbing. I've never heard of a 'free' ascent of El Cap. Depending on which route a climber follow, there are some wicked overhangs that simply cannot be assailed without the proper equipment. I cd go on, but I strongly urge you to do a little research to make your story more plausible.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Suz,
To add some authenticity to this you shd do a little research on rock climbing, especially climbing the 3000 foot El Capitan." With approximately 70 different climbing routes identified, there are always multiple teams of climbers on 'The Cap' at any one time during climbing season. Spring and Fall are the best seasons. Summer climbing on El Cap is common place, but the sun glare and heat radiating off the granite face wears on a climber very quickly. Regardless of the season, the face of El Cap is always very chilly because of the altitude, cloud cover, winds, and rapid heat loss of the rock at night. It's similiar to the desert -- you cook during the day and freeze at night.
Unless there is a storm brewing, the wind is rarely what I wd describe as buffeting. It certainly wdn't unbalance a climber. This is where research is so important. Unless a climber is free climbing, i.e., without the aide of pitons, biners, ropes, etc. a climber is usually pretty secure during ascents. It's the first climber, the leader, who is in the greatest danger of falling. However, if proper procedures are followed, a lead climber seldom falls far enough to severely injury him/herself shd they slip. Believe me, feeling your abraided and chalked-up fingers slipping free of the rock face at 2500 feet is enough to instantly fill your shorts.
When a climber falls, there isn't much to hear outside of his or her curses or cries. Sometimes there might be a faint 'pinging' if pitons pop out of the rock near a climber. But you have to remember that at that height there's a constant breeze. That alone quickly carries away sound. In relationship to your story, the second climber cd have not fallen free of the lead climber because they are linked by their rope. One climber is always 'belaying' another in stages during an ascent. The one exception is when climbers are 'free' climbing. I've never heard of a 'free' ascent of El Cap. Depending on which route a climber follow, there are some wicked overhangs that simply cannot be assailed without the proper equipment. I cd go on, but I strongly urge you to do a little research to make your story more plausible.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2010
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Hi and welcome to FS, I agree, I should have researched, but I am a "pantser", writing what comes to me...I do appreciate this info, it's interesting and sounds accurate. I will read more about Capitan and try to work on this. But usually once done, I move on...I will try to remember this helpful advice tho for next time? Sounds like you have climbed Capitan? If so, I admire you. Take care and thank you for this kind review...Susan
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I don't know what a 'pantser' is, but it sounds wickedly fun.
I've been here less than a week and you're the ninth or tenth person who has told me they don't edit anything, preferring to let unfinished work stack up in their portfolios. Thanks for the heads-up. dht
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I edit? And what I have in this portfolio is edited, at least I try to...? Didn't mean to give that impression. A pantster is someone who writes without much plotting beforehand? I am trying to plot before starting, but prefer to edit afterward. My unfinished work sits handwritten next to this pc. Some worth saving, other, well who knows? Lol...sorry for the mixup. ") Susan
Comment from Ted T
Hi Susan :)
I have no idea what to say about the story of the piece. I can only comment on the good writing and the way you structured the tale.
Such a fine moment of uplifting emotion -- and then -- total disaster!
What a loss ....
Ted
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Hi Susan :)
I have no idea what to say about the story of the piece. I can only comment on the good writing and the way you structured the tale.
Such a fine moment of uplifting emotion -- and then -- total disaster!
What a loss ....
Ted
Comment Written 01-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Thank you Ted, I guess I was a bit off on what happens there, but a good lesson in doing research! ") Thank you for this kind review!! Susan
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Just keep doing your best :)
Comment from Dom G Robles
This is a daring fictional story. A couple trying to reach the top of the mountain at El Capitan. They met each other at El Capitan and decided to together to climb the mountain. It is so sad that the husband did not make it and fell down the precipice never to be seen again.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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This is a daring fictional story. A couple trying to reach the top of the mountain at El Capitan. They met each other at El Capitan and decided to together to climb the mountain. It is so sad that the husband did not make it and fell down the precipice never to be seen again.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2010
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Hi Dom, thanks! Just a metaphoric thing, I'm real glad you read it for me. I do need to research stuff like this before writing about it! ") Susan
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Welcome Susan. Your stories are great.
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Another heartfelt thanks to you Dom!! How kind you are...S.
Comment from adewpearl
new husband, is just below me - drop the comma
Come on, Marty - add comma for direct address
he is already a spec - speck
This tragic story sure packs a punch in its conclusion - I don't have the spirit of the mountain climber in me, but I guess it really is something that compels some people, and you express that effectively :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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new husband, is just below me - drop the comma
Come on, Marty - add comma for direct address
he is already a spec - speck
This tragic story sure packs a punch in its conclusion - I don't have the spirit of the mountain climber in me, but I guess it really is something that compels some people, and you express that effectively :-) Brooke
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Fixed! AND a hug for your kind help again Brooke! Thank you so much, I thought I had it right this time. I am studying grammer again...why is it so hard now, when I was young it was so easy. ") Thank you for reading for me Brooke!! Susan
Comment from c_lucas
Rock climbing is an adventure in itslef. It can become an introduction to death instantly. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. very good job.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Rock climbing is an adventure in itslef. It can become an introduction to death instantly. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. very good job.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2010
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Hi Charlie! Thank you! I always appreciate your thoughts and kind reviews! Hope you are not in the snowband? It will be here soon... ") Susan
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You're welcome, Susan.Snow seldom lasts more than a day.