Simba's Dilemma
Simba gets some bad news104 total reviews
Comment from Gungalo
LOL you, this is so very cute. Poor Simba I hate to think of the coming days of "getting used to each other". I love all this feline conversation going on here.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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LOL you, this is so very cute. Poor Simba I hate to think of the coming days of "getting used to each other". I love all this feline conversation going on here.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm hoping that Simba's resiliency will get him through the coming months. I will vent 'his' frustrations through upcoming stories! Thanks for following along! ~patty~
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My pleasure you. He sounds adorable. LOL.
Comment from sizemore0409
Well, that was a rather unique story, told from a unique point of view. I enjoyed reading it --- it flowed quite well, and kept my attention, from start to finish. And I really liked the cute ending, which I thought added a nice bit of zest to the whole. Thanks for the good read!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Well, that was a rather unique story, told from a unique point of view. I enjoyed reading it --- it flowed quite well, and kept my attention, from start to finish. And I really liked the cute ending, which I thought added a nice bit of zest to the whole. Thanks for the good read!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Simba is a very unique cat, and it is fun to write from his point of view. ~patty~
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Patty. This is a cute story for sure and well written for the most part. I do have a few suggestions if you don't mind though:
There should be a new paragraph started with these words "He could hear...." Reason being it's an abrupt subject change. Also, were it me, I would make the next paragraph about the couch, the first paragraph...it seems to be a better hook for somem reason.
"Simba's ears must be worse off than he thought. Did he really hear them say 'puppy?" (reword this to read: "Simba's ears were evidsently worse off than he thought. Did they really say "puppy?"
Good little story. Bravo! Bob
"Outside the world was wintry white, and there was a cold east wind blowing with gales of up to 50 miles per hour. He could hear the whistle of the wind, but he was nice and toasty. Sitting on the back of the comfy couch, he was enjoying his afternoon bath. Slowly, he licked one paw at a time; maybe even one toe at a time. That was the only way to keep long, luxurious fur like his nice and shiny.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2010
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Hi, Patty. This is a cute story for sure and well written for the most part. I do have a few suggestions if you don't mind though:
There should be a new paragraph started with these words "He could hear...." Reason being it's an abrupt subject change. Also, were it me, I would make the next paragraph about the couch, the first paragraph...it seems to be a better hook for somem reason.
"Simba's ears must be worse off than he thought. Did he really hear them say 'puppy?" (reword this to read: "Simba's ears were evidsently worse off than he thought. Did they really say "puppy?"
Good little story. Bravo! Bob
"Outside the world was wintry white, and there was a cold east wind blowing with gales of up to 50 miles per hour. He could hear the whistle of the wind, but he was nice and toasty. Sitting on the back of the comfy couch, he was enjoying his afternoon bath. Slowly, he licked one paw at a time; maybe even one toe at a time. That was the only way to keep long, luxurious fur like his nice and shiny.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2010
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Thank you SO much for reading and your generous review. I appreciate you feedback, and I will go back and rework your suggestions into the story. Thanks for reading, and be on the look out for more stories to come as Simba's world is turned upside down by the new arrival. ~patty~
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I will keep watching for your chapters and I would appreciate so much, you doing the same mfro my "Falling Up The Stairs" Bob
Comment from Fireshadow
Patty, this is a very well penned narrative from Simba's point of view. Excellent detailed descriptions (I have 2 cats and feed 22 strays) which present a realistic portrayal of a cat's behavior and attitude. Found no spag errors. I hope you later share with us your cats' reaction to the new puppy. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
P.S. Did you finally decide on a name for your puppy ?
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Patty, this is a very well penned narrative from Simba's point of view. Excellent detailed descriptions (I have 2 cats and feed 22 strays) which present a realistic portrayal of a cat's behavior and attitude. Found no spag errors. I hope you later share with us your cats' reaction to the new puppy. Very well done, my friend.
Ama
P.S. Did you finally decide on a name for your puppy ?
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Simba is a very unique cat, and it is fun to write from his point of view. It looks like the puppy's name will be 'Harley.' ~patty~
Comment from Babibrn
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY. WORD VERBIAGE I BELIEVE IS GOOD.I FOUND IT VERY FUNNY AND CUTE. GOOD JOB MY DEAR. FELLOW WRITER GOOD WORK HUN.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY. WORD VERBIAGE I BELIEVE IS GOOD.I FOUND IT VERY FUNNY AND CUTE. GOOD JOB MY DEAR. FELLOW WRITER GOOD WORK HUN.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Simba is a very unique cat, and it is fun to write from his point of view. ~patty~
Comment from JW
This is a well-written story, Mustangpatty1029. I never thought about looking at life from a pet's point of view. You did a great job with this.
I can only imagine what my two dogs think during the day, each day. JW
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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This is a well-written story, Mustangpatty1029. I never thought about looking at life from a pet's point of view. You did a great job with this.
I can only imagine what my two dogs think during the day, each day. JW
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Simba is a very unique cat, and it is fun to write from his point of view. ~patty~
Comment from ladybird
A charming story.
You have really brought the cat to life for the reader by the very descriptive text.
I liked the ending,very cute.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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A charming story.
You have really brought the cat to life for the reader by the very descriptive text.
I liked the ending,very cute.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Simba is a very unique cat, and it is fun to write from his point of view. ~patty~
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An enjoyable story. I have cats. They all have their own little quirks.
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Lol! An interesting story, Patty. I suppose a cat does have its own opinion on family matters, when the cat is also a part of the family. I found no nits. A fine job.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Lol! An interesting story, Patty. I suppose a cat does have its own opinion on family matters, when the cat is also a part of the family. I found no nits. A fine job.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I often write from an animal's POV - I've been voicing what I think runs through their minds since I was a little kid. I appreciate your kind words. ~patty~
Comment from luckyjinx
animals can feel although we don't know whatever it is they wanna say...all we know is that we emphatize with pets and we don't want them to get hurt...animals as an inspiration is somehow more of fictional since we use personification in such things...but i believe pets can be treated as humans, after all, they have a life....let's respect them and symphatize with them....:)
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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animals can feel although we don't know whatever it is they wanna say...all we know is that we emphatize with pets and we don't want them to get hurt...animals as an inspiration is somehow more of fictional since we use personification in such things...but i believe pets can be treated as humans, after all, they have a life....let's respect them and symphatize with them....:)
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you for reading and your insightful review. I appreciate the fact that I do not REALLY know what Simba is thinking, but ever since I was a little kid, I have always voiced to those around me what I thought my pets were thinking! I've put words and thoughts in their little brains that NEVER should be there! I enjoy writing for the animal's POV, and I appreciate your generous review of my musings. ~patty~
Comment from Rachel Bailey
I love this story. It does make you wonder just what is on a cat's mind. This story did warm my heart. I just wanted to point out so may be you can edit it. On your third paragraph you have "The Mistress" was ran though his mind every so often. Should though be changed to through? Just wanted to point that out, but if you meant for it to be though I'm sorry to say anything. Great story and I hope you do well with your reviews.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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I love this story. It does make you wonder just what is on a cat's mind. This story did warm my heart. I just wanted to point out so may be you can edit it. On your third paragraph you have "The Mistress" was ran though his mind every so often. Should though be changed to through? Just wanted to point that out, but if you meant for it to be though I'm sorry to say anything. Great story and I hope you do well with your reviews.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Hi Rachel! Thank you for reading and your generous review - as well as catching my 'wrong word.' I have gone in and fixed it - THANK YOU!!
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I'm sorry just wanted you to fix it if that is what you had intended. That way may be your reviews will go great. Have a good day and do well.
