Simba's Dilemma
Simba gets some bad news104 total reviews
Comment from Sallyo
This story is fun and presents an engaging character study of Simba. The only problem I found is that, to me, it ends rather abruptly. It seems to be leading to a denoument of some grave import, and then ends with the puppy comment. I think you need to change the foreshadowing a bit so the ending seems part of the rest of the story. (Mind you, I'm only one opinion. Maybe other reviewers don't see it the same way:-).
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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This story is fun and presents an engaging character study of Simba. The only problem I found is that, to me, it ends rather abruptly. It seems to be leading to a denoument of some grave import, and then ends with the puppy comment. I think you need to change the foreshadowing a bit so the ending seems part of the rest of the story. (Mind you, I'm only one opinion. Maybe other reviewers don't see it the same way:-).
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2010
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. For a cat, the impending arrival of a puppy is of 'grave import.' Don't worry about being honest in your reviews; the whole point of putting our writing out there is for others to give their opinions. I appreciate your critique! Thanks for reading, and look for more adventures of Simba, Leo, and the new puppy - looks like his name will be WILL for William Shakespeare. ~patty~
Comment from cacfilly
What a cute story and so like a cat. I love the part where he's licking himself and telling himself how shiny his coat is. Cute the way you described things from a cat's perspective, the vet's pajamas, the red dot, etc. In the 5th paragraph about four lines down, did you mean to saw 'pawning'. I didn't take the time to see if this was a word or not. Just an idea, but would Simba know the word 'puppy'. Maybe you need to have something in the story to show why he would have heard that word before. Just a suggestion. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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What a cute story and so like a cat. I love the part where he's licking himself and telling himself how shiny his coat is. Cute the way you described things from a cat's perspective, the vet's pajamas, the red dot, etc. In the 5th paragraph about four lines down, did you mean to saw 'pawning'. I didn't take the time to see if this was a word or not. Just an idea, but would Simba know the word 'puppy'. Maybe you need to have something in the story to show why he would have heard that word before. Just a suggestion. Great job.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I appreciate the insight you have, and will try to figure out why he knows the word 'puppy.' ~patty~
Comment from Gabriella 2
wow
this is such a cute story and it's cool to know that you wrote this because you wondered how your cat felt. really interesting way to write from his perspective.
good job
Gabriella 2
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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wow
this is such a cute story and it's cool to know that you wrote this because you wondered how your cat felt. really interesting way to write from his perspective.
good job
Gabriella 2
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
Comment from fictionwriter
I've found that the cats get really indignant when a puppy comes into the house. That poor little dog will have to watch his back. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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I've found that the cats get really indignant when a puppy comes into the house. That poor little dog will have to watch his back. Great job.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
Comment from Bellringer
Excellently written story told from the POV of a cat. The story held my interest and touched my heart. This is a good reminder that pets have feelings and are in tune to their human companions. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Excellently written story told from the POV of a cat. The story held my interest and touched my heart. This is a good reminder that pets have feelings and are in tune to their human companions. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
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You're welcome, patty. Regards, Hector
Comment from Shirley McLain
A cute story that was well written. Your cat converstaion was great adn all of it mad perfect sense. I really liked the ending with the new puppy. Good job.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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A cute story that was well written. Your cat converstaion was great adn all of it mad perfect sense. I really liked the ending with the new puppy. Good job.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
Comment from psalmist
A cute story told from the cat's point of view. I can just imagine his beautiful fur from your descriptions. My two cats like the back of the couch, too, because it is in front of a big picture window. I am glad Simba has a happy home, I hope he will like the puppy (ha-ha). My cats barely tolerated the "Dog".
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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A cute story told from the cat's point of view. I can just imagine his beautiful fur from your descriptions. My two cats like the back of the couch, too, because it is in front of a big picture window. I am glad Simba has a happy home, I hope he will like the puppy (ha-ha). My cats barely tolerated the "Dog".
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
Comment from BarnCat
Oh Patty, Simba thinks things are tough now? LOL. DOn't worry, my Jack Russells were raised by Bolero, my big black cat who bears a close resemblance to Simba. They leave each other alone most of the time and fairly happily co-exist. I enjoyed the story's POV and it seems very plausible. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Oh Patty, Simba thinks things are tough now? LOL. DOn't worry, my Jack Russells were raised by Bolero, my big black cat who bears a close resemblance to Simba. They leave each other alone most of the time and fairly happily co-exist. I enjoyed the story's POV and it seems very plausible. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
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Looking forward to reading their thoughts!
Comment from dportwood
Mustangpatty,
I really liked this story that is so well written from the viewpoint of Simba. My animals are not house animals and, as such, do not seem to miss me when I'm gone, but act pleased to see me when I come home. Well done and enjoyable. Should I pity 'puppy'?
Duane
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Mustangpatty,
I really liked this story that is so well written from the viewpoint of Simba. My animals are not house animals and, as such, do not seem to miss me when I'm gone, but act pleased to see me when I come home. Well done and enjoyable. Should I pity 'puppy'?
Duane
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. I don't think the puppy is in TOO much danger - Simba's previous owners declawed all four paws, so he isn't too much of a threat! Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
Comment from mermaids
I like the story being told from the viewpoint of Simba. I have six cats and a dog. Most of my animals were adopted. This is an entertaining story for all of us cat lovers.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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I like the story being told from the viewpoint of Simba. I have six cats and a dog. Most of my animals were adopted. This is an entertaining story for all of us cat lovers.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2010
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Thank you so much for reading and your generous review. Simba, Leo, and the new puppy will have a lot to say in the next few months via my stories. Thanks for reading! ~patty~
