War No More
In Search of Peace.26 total reviews
Comment from JTStone
This is a thoughtful verse.
I like the sentiment. It is a hopeful feeling.
Though I have been guilty in my life of fighting when I was a young man...just being honest so I don't sound too hypocritical, but nothing good comes from war.
let's hope your poem rings true
JT
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2015
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This is a thoughtful verse.
I like the sentiment. It is a hopeful feeling.
Though I have been guilty in my life of fighting when I was a young man...just being honest so I don't sound too hypocritical, but nothing good comes from war.
let's hope your poem rings true
JT
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2015
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thanks for your thoughts and comments...yes we all do things when young and learn from this...hopefully...appreciate your review :)
Comment from artemis53
Well done. I am pleased that you put this one down since it is a growing sentiment that is snowballing as the politicians plan for their next clandestine strike.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2015
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Well done. I am pleased that you put this one down since it is a growing sentiment that is snowballing as the politicians plan for their next clandestine strike.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2015
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Thank you..your thoughts ring true.....appreciate your time review :)
Comment from Joseph W. Sestrich
Hmmmmmmm........................
What a powerful last stanza. The image of "crossfire" ending with the beginning of "enlightment" constructs a strong foundation for the last two lines of your poem.
You have a gift for sharing what has been shared with you. Always a pleasure to enjoy the directness of your work.
"You might say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us and the world can live as one." IMAGINE.
joseph
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Hmmmmmmm........................
What a powerful last stanza. The image of "crossfire" ending with the beginning of "enlightment" constructs a strong foundation for the last two lines of your poem.
You have a gift for sharing what has been shared with you. Always a pleasure to enjoy the directness of your work.
"You might say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us and the world can live as one." IMAGINE.
joseph
Comment Written 09-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Thank you for your encouraging review Joseph....appreciated...yes love John Lennon...he sure was a peacemaker too...thanks again :)
Comment from Joan E.
A post and social commentary well worth reviving. I admired your rhymed couplets and your message, especially in the shadow of the Doctors without Borders' hospital bombing. Here's to living as one! Joan
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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A post and social commentary well worth reviving. I admired your rhymed couplets and your message, especially in the shadow of the Doctors without Borders' hospital bombing. Here's to living as one! Joan
Comment Written 09-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Thanks Joan...just googled imfo on the bombing....thats very horrific and sad....yes there is a lot of evil happening in our world..Australia has become a place of oppression against the people..and all the world unrest ..weather incidents...people killing each other...we hope for a miracle for peace..if only we could live as one :)
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I am sorry Australia is not a safe haven either. Peace! -Joan
Comment from RW Kelley
I like the poem and especially the thought. I'm certainly no expert on poetry, except that I like it to rhyme and have rhythm. Here are some suggestions with my rationale for them.
You might change the third line in the second stanza to read:
"Triumphant armies"
It seems that fits better as a contrast to the second line ("Victims of war"), and I think the extra syllable improves the flow (or rhythm).
In the third stanza you might consider changing the last two lines to read as follows:
"Freedom will reign
Victory is peace."
Based on your title for the poem, "No More War", I think they provide a better ending. The third line with the words, "keeps fighting", doesn't seem to be a good conclusion. Freedom and peace are the goals.
Bob
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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I like the poem and especially the thought. I'm certainly no expert on poetry, except that I like it to rhyme and have rhythm. Here are some suggestions with my rationale for them.
You might change the third line in the second stanza to read:
"Triumphant armies"
It seems that fits better as a contrast to the second line ("Victims of war"), and I think the extra syllable improves the flow (or rhythm).
In the third stanza you might consider changing the last two lines to read as follows:
"Freedom will reign
Victory is peace."
Based on your title for the poem, "No More War", I think they provide a better ending. The third line with the words, "keeps fighting", doesn't seem to be a good conclusion. Freedom and peace are the goals.
Bob
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Thank you for taking time to read and share your thoughts on my poem Bob..much appreciated......I did take on board your suggestions and I could change few things but it came straight out my heart so I will leave it for now :) I always welcome improvement suggestions so a big Thank You.
Sue
Comment from OLA THOMAS
I love this poem because I hate war and all its attendant vices. You actually in consonant with my muse on war. I posted a poem earlier today on this theme titled "Man at war with himself". You may have a look. Good job.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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I love this poem because I hate war and all its attendant vices. You actually in consonant with my muse on war. I posted a poem earlier today on this theme titled "Man at war with himself". You may have a look. Good job.
ola thomas
Comment Written 09-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Thanks kindly for your review...took peek at your poem...just about in sync....thank you ..alls good :)
Comment from Eric1
Hi sweetthanesue, this is a wonderfully written short poem depicting the reasons for outbreaks of war and the reasoning needed to cease the never ending strife.
Wonderful rhyming, rhythm and meter, and a lovely smooth flow my friend.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Hi sweetthanesue, this is a wonderfully written short poem depicting the reasons for outbreaks of war and the reasoning needed to cease the never ending strife.
Wonderful rhyming, rhythm and meter, and a lovely smooth flow my friend.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Thanks Eric.....been gone a while so appreciate your comments and thoughts...yes too much strife these days...I pray for peace .Sue :)
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You are very welcome my friend
Comment from Tessa Kay
A very apt question: What do they fight for? We're all living on the same planet, and does it really matter what language we speak or what colour we are?
We're all part of the same family.
An important message, well developed in this poem. Good job :)
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2015
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A very apt question: What do they fight for? We're all living on the same planet, and does it really matter what language we speak or what colour we are?
We're all part of the same family.
An important message, well developed in this poem. Good job :)
Comment Written 09-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2015
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Thank you for your thoughts comments Tessa...true we are part of a family ....we need more love and less greed...and a lot more compromise :)
Comment from PoemsOfDD
A solid write. It holds a message that is very apt in the current affairs of today. The poem has good pace and rhyme with a strong subject matter. Well done on this enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2015
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A solid write. It holds a message that is very apt in the current affairs of today. The poem has good pace and rhyme with a strong subject matter. Well done on this enjoyable read.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2015
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Thank you for your thoughts.I.appreciate them.....yes the current affairs of today are quite sad...hope it improves :)
Comment from goldenthread
There is hope in this poem that wars might end, the writer finishes by saying that "on the day of enlightenment/the crossfire shall cease."
I like her lines about "Selfish winners/What do they fight for?"
It's a good poem about the need for justice and peace.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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There is hope in this poem that wars might end, the writer finishes by saying that "on the day of enlightenment/the crossfire shall cease."
I like her lines about "Selfish winners/What do they fight for?"
It's a good poem about the need for justice and peace.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2010
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thanks for your encouraging review and input, happy holidays regards sue
