Reviews from

George Carlin and Ivory Soap

practicing for the big leagues

40 total reviews 
Comment from Eagle Eye Jerry
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hey Indy!

Ha ha! I'm laughing my b-- ... I mean, I'm cracking up here -- damn, I mean ... ah, forgeddaboudit!

Well done on the win here. I have nothing to suggest, because I recall being a promising athlete, soccer player, track star etc ... and doing this kinda thing. I'd usually get a clip around the ear from my grandmother though! lol

I have to say I have no idea what Ivory soap is? I used to get a good, straight to the point, smack in the head or a thret of one! lol

I can't suggest anything about the dialogue because that's what makes this funny.

Excellent you funny girl!

Jerry



 Comment Written 25-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
    I knew you'd like this, Jer! LOL I had such a blast writing this one. Ivory soap is a brand here in the states...tastes like the insoles of a rank Manchester United footballer jock. (and no, I really don't know that by experience)

    Thanks for reading this...I do love kid POV stories and trying to get kidspeak right.
    Thanks, Eagle.
    Indy :>)
Comment from Justin Chopin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

He sounds like he'd be perfect in the major leagues. Very funny Irish and I love the connection you made between Joey wanting to curse and act like a complete polictically inncorect baseball player to the now sadly deceased always polictically incorrect and foul mouth and foul minded comedian George Carlin. Great job with the story it's a good thing his mom stopped him or he probably would have said " The seven things you can't say on TV." Amazing work .

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 25-Jun-2011
    I'm delighted you had the chance to read this story, Justin. You're the only reviewer to make the connection between Carlin and baseball players' language. Thank you for your great review and always kind comments, my friend.
    Thanks,
    Irish :>)
reply by Justin Chopin on 27-Jun-2011
    you're welcome Irish.
Comment from JimmytheStone
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

NOW THAT"S F**K**G FUNNY!

Original, realistic pure Americana at its best.
Now not that I ever minded the creative use of English before, but you personified a MOM So Well!
Jimmy

 Comment Written 24-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 24-Jun-2011
    I love doing stories in kid POV and useing kidspeak...must be the immature child still running amuk in me, huh? I'm so pleased you liked this. I've used Joey in a few of these stories and I feel like he's a part of me and I'll probably bring him back to life again. Thanks for reading and for your great review, Jimmy.
    Karyn :>)
Comment from DragonSkulls
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I didn't read any of these when they were up for vote but I'm sure glad to see you won with this hiarious thing. I can picture a young George Carlin having this conversation with his mom. Great finishing line, ha ha ha ha. Sooy I missed the contest but you surely would of gotten my vote. Glad to see you won it wothout it. Thanks for the chuckle. /Ron

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
    Hey Ron! Hope you had a good night at work. Thanks for reading this one...I kinda liked it so I'm glad you do too. I like writing kid POV and trying to get kidspeak right. Thanks for looking through my stuff...help yourself :>)
    Karyn
Comment from jmdg1954
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm a bit late in reading this Spud, but I wish I had a 10 star to give you. I love any baseball story and this is at the top of the list. Just one question.... did you had to reference them f'kn Red Sox????? Just kidding... so nicely done and deserved of the ribbon.
John

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 10-Jun-2011
    Oh, John, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this story and I appreciate your incredible rating and review. LOL at the RedSox comment....you Yankees are all alike. Thank you for reading and so glad you liked it.
    Smiles,
    Spud :>)
Comment from Piggies Grandma
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Congratulations on wining the contest. I enjoyed your story and I thought it was very cleverly written and very amusing. It was very well thought out.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 10-Jun-2011
    Thank you, Piggie's Grandma, for selecting my poem to read and for your great review. I appreciate your kind comments and I'm delighted you liked the poem.
    Thank you,
    Indy :>)
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very amusing story. I think you know how much I detest gratuitous vulgarity, so you know I can relate to this. Excellent depiction of how hard is to bring up kids with manners these days. Biting social commentary on role models. I'm glad you won.

(I'll get to your tanka tomorrow; I am exhausted tonight.)

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
    Hey Alvin! Thank you for reading my story and for your comments. I do so enjoy writing from a kid's POV and use kidspeak. Thanks!
    Indy :>)
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Karyn, it is no wonder you won with this howlingly funny story - I can just imagine this boy digging the hole he's in deeper and deeper. LOL
I'm still laughing :-)
Brooke

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
    Brooke, I'm so glad you enjoyed this story and I appreciate your kind review and comments. I just love it when a reader laughs at my humor. Thank you!
    Karyn :>)
Comment from Larrypic11
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can certainly see why this won the contest. It is absolutely hysterical and more than a little true to life. Every boy goes through this stage, but few have it last very long ifthey know what's good for them. Great job. Larry

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
    Thank you, Larry, for this great review. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on my story and I'm glad you enjoyed it.I really enjoyed writing this and I'm so glad you enjoyed it, too.
    Thanks,
    Indy :>)
Comment from mountainwriter49
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

All I can say, Kar, is that you're crazy as hell
to be able to write something like this! I'm
still laughing and oh, how I can relate!

The dialogue in this short story is pure post-War
Americana. The story is well developed.

I can still remember when my mother washed my
mouth out with soap. I'm quite sure she misunderstood
the word I was using. Quite sure.....

I can still taste the damn soap after all of these decades.

I can see why this won the contest!
RR

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2011


reply by the author on 13-Jun-2011
    Will you forgive me for this unexcuseable delay in replying to this wonderful review, RayMan? Thank you for reading this story and for these fantastic comments! You know I believe you completely that your Mom just misunderstood you. LOL I love being crazy as hell and thank you for recognizing that quality in me. :>)
    Kar