Storytime
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Once Upon A Time No More"A book full of story poems
5 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
A lovely poem, sad and reflective and some very nice word play here and I particularly liked this bit:
"dust dances in each sunbeam
where chocolate curls once bounced
and bobbed with flair" very descriptive my friend and I despite the feeling of heaviness and old age this was a very eloquent expression. You do free verse so well.
Go girl.
Cheers cpj xo
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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A lovely poem, sad and reflective and some very nice word play here and I particularly liked this bit:
"dust dances in each sunbeam
where chocolate curls once bounced
and bobbed with flair" very descriptive my friend and I despite the feeling of heaviness and old age this was a very eloquent expression. You do free verse so well.
Go girl.
Cheers cpj xo
Comment Written 23-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2011
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Hi cpj,
thank you so much for your thought-filled review! Sorry for the late reply - things are manic at the mo! Thanks again - Cally :)
Comment from adewpearl
lovely descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
excellent use of alliteration
typo - enrichs - enriches
what a poignant poem, filled with moving emotion and gorgeous description Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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lovely descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
excellent use of alliteration
typo - enrichs - enriches
what a poignant poem, filled with moving emotion and gorgeous description Brooke
Comment Written 20-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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Hi Brooke, and thank you for reviewing. I always appreciate your wise comments (and spag tips!!) Thanks - Cally :)
Comment from Ure Connection
The first stanza was like an arrow for me pointing directly to ageing ladies. Which set the scene for what was to follow.
The sense of reminiscing from a chair on the sun porch or bay window is very strong.Thank you.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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The first stanza was like an arrow for me pointing directly to ageing ladies. Which set the scene for what was to follow.
The sense of reminiscing from a chair on the sun porch or bay window is very strong.Thank you.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2011
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And thank you for your thoughtful review - much appreciated, Cally :)
Comment from dogontherocks
Good choice of color and artwork to compliment your sad poem. I did miss the rhymes that would start then go, expecting, then missing them when they didn't return, like the story itself. I didn't quite get the structure though 3/3/4/6/5/2. Was this to make the poem sob with the tears of the princes? You presented a very strong image of love gone bad...sad.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Good choice of color and artwork to compliment your sad poem. I did miss the rhymes that would start then go, expecting, then missing them when they didn't return, like the story itself. I didn't quite get the structure though 3/3/4/6/5/2. Was this to make the poem sob with the tears of the princes? You presented a very strong image of love gone bad...sad.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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No structure, this is free style! No set meter or rhymes.
Thank you so much for reviewing this poem about a woman who loses her daughter and remembers her in her old room every year on her birthday. Your comments are appreciated :)
Comment from aloneandemty
Very nice...your words are special this I can see and feel. I love your rhythm so special and free to share. Wonderful poem take care.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Very nice...your words are special this I can see and feel. I love your rhythm so special and free to share. Wonderful poem take care.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging review :)
