Storytime
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Gingerbread Boy"A book full of story poems
5 total reviews
Comment from jshep
a strong metaphor of the gingerbread man. You share the joy: smiles,sprinkles, icing and red poppies. Lovely descriptions.
then the turn of emotions with the heavy dusting weighing on the shoulders from such a horrid loss. 'poppies everywhere his last goodbye.' that line grips the reader.
well done in free verse. best of luck. j
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
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a strong metaphor of the gingerbread man. You share the joy: smiles,sprinkles, icing and red poppies. Lovely descriptions.
then the turn of emotions with the heavy dusting weighing on the shoulders from such a horrid loss. 'poppies everywhere his last goodbye.' that line grips the reader.
well done in free verse. best of luck. j
Comment Written 15-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2012
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Thanks, j, I appreciate your insight regarding those lines, I thought it might be the last two that grabbed. Thank you for your kind review and luck wishes - Cally
Comment from phill doran
Hello there
This is a cracker. A really beautiful misleading piece which drew me in and battered me in the last two verses.
"...aqua blue drops
dust her shoulders
each one the weight of a boulder..."
Great writing _ you must do well with this: a very strong piece indeed. Well done.
Cheers
phill
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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Hello there
This is a cracker. A really beautiful misleading piece which drew me in and battered me in the last two verses.
"...aqua blue drops
dust her shoulders
each one the weight of a boulder..."
Great writing _ you must do well with this: a very strong piece indeed. Well done.
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 15-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Phill. I very much appreciate your encouraging review :)
Comment from ennahanid
I promised myself I was not going to cry at all today when reading - I am such a crier - but your Gingerbread Boy made me break that promise...beautiful write - Dinah
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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I promised myself I was not going to cry at all today when reading - I am such a crier - but your Gingerbread Boy made me break that promise...beautiful write - Dinah
Comment Written 15-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Dinah. Sorry it made you cry
- Cally
Comment from ShannyT
As a mother of a small son, this was very hard to read, but it was honestly a very captivating poem. A really creative way to make a small memory into a story. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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As a mother of a small son, this was very hard to read, but it was honestly a very captivating poem. A really creative way to make a small memory into a story. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Yes, as a Mother of two young sons it was very hard to write too. I was nearly in tears a few times. Fortunately it is fiction. Thank you so much for your thoughtful review.
Comment from Crackerberries
Your gingerbread boy is a fine entry piece for the free verse poetry contest. I'm still trying to figure out if it was a real boy or a cookie.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Your gingerbread boy is a fine entry piece for the free verse poetry contest. I'm still trying to figure out if it was a real boy or a cookie.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2012
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Oh dear, looks like I've gone a bit too abstract again then! LOL
It's about a Mother's grief for her son who dies in during an operation to save his life.
Thank you for your thoughtful review and helpful comments. I have now included a better description.
