Leslie Ann's Exploits
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Leslie Ann the child"A spoiled young lady who learns the hard way
18 total reviews
Comment from Paradox Tremors
Strange way of telling a story--but I think it works in this place. Well done indeed.Leslie Ann will need to watch her steps if she doesn't want the same thing to happen 9in colled. Enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Strange way of telling a story--but I think it works in this place. Well done indeed.Leslie Ann will need to watch her steps if she doesn't want the same thing to happen 9in colled. Enjoyed it.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks, I appreciate your reading, commenting and rating this one. Peace and blessings!!
Comment from dmt1967
Leslie Ann sounds a horrible young lady my friend although I did like this story and will be looking out for the next chapter thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Leslie Ann sounds a horrible young lady my friend although I did like this story and will be looking out for the next chapter thank you for sharing
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks, dmt1967!
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Dossie, I love the idea of a story poem and this one is intriguing.... can't wait to read on. This is a big undertaking and you're doing it very well!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Dossie, I love the idea of a story poem and this one is intriguing.... can't wait to read on. This is a big undertaking and you're doing it very well!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2013
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Thanks!
Comment from adewpearl
When Leslie was old enough to understand, - add comma
Excellent character development
You explain well her outlook on life that leads her to being the head "mean girl" in school
good use of abcb rhyming in your story poem
you have it characterized as prose/fiction
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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When Leslie was old enough to understand, - add comma
Excellent character development
You explain well her outlook on life that leads her to being the head "mean girl" in school
good use of abcb rhyming in your story poem
you have it characterized as prose/fiction
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Brooke. I decided to try something different with this story poem. I have it characterized as a story poem because I wasn't aware I could post it any other way. Thanks, Dossie
Comment from angelmagnet
Yes, I enjoyed the poem. I admit to you that I wanted to shake. Leslie Ann, but I considered my involvement to be the product of your good writing.good luck
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Yes, I enjoyed the poem. I admit to you that I wanted to shake. Leslie Ann, but I considered my involvement to be the product of your good writing.good luck
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks, angelmagnet! I'm delighted you enjoyed this poem. I have about 13 or 14 more posting as we follow the exploits of the spoiled Leslie Ann. I appreciate your reading and commenting on this one!
Comment from Thesis
Your poem is a sad story, but one that truly plays out in many cities around the world. Its sad that children are molded into this type of behavior. In this instance, its what goes around comes around for Leslie Ann. She discovered her "friends" abandoned her. Now she was probably the one they talked about with disdain.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Your poem is a sad story, but one that truly plays out in many cities around the world. Its sad that children are molded into this type of behavior. In this instance, its what goes around comes around for Leslie Ann. She discovered her "friends" abandoned her. Now she was probably the one they talked about with disdain.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Thesis! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. I appreciate your comments and generous rating!
Comment from alexisleech
What a pleasant change. I don't mean to your usual type of post, but the idea of a story being told in poetry form by way of a book is very refreshing to find. The last few years at school are so character forming, so I wouldn't doubt that this is going to be really interesting to follow. Well done!
Alexis x
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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What a pleasant change. I don't mean to your usual type of post, but the idea of a story being told in poetry form by way of a book is very refreshing to find. The last few years at school are so character forming, so I wouldn't doubt that this is going to be really interesting to follow. Well done!
Alexis x
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks, Alexis! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. Thanks for your encouragement, I really appreciate it!
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Dossie,
Your poem is exceptionally skillfully done and tells its story well. The rhythm and rhyme are excellent as you take the reader through the life and growing up of Leslie Ann. She is all about herself, and everyone else be damned. Some kids outgrow that trend, but she apparently has not. It is an interesting read. It would get a SIX, but the system has me constrained.
Curtis
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Dossie,
Your poem is exceptionally skillfully done and tells its story well. The rhythm and rhyme are excellent as you take the reader through the life and growing up of Leslie Ann. She is all about herself, and everyone else be damned. Some kids outgrow that trend, but she apparently has not. It is an interesting read. It would get a SIX, but the system has me constrained.
Curtis
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much, Curtis! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. I appreciate your encouraging comments and your virtual six stars!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Shame on the Leslie Anns of this world--and double shame on those who cater to them (Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice (or thrice, . . .!) shame on me!) This poem is very well-written and conveys a strong moral.
"Challenge" needs no "d."
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Shame on the Leslie Anns of this world--and double shame on those who cater to them (Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice (or thrice, . . .!) shame on me!) This poem is very well-written and conveys a strong moral.
"Challenge" needs no "d."
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much, Janice! I'm trying something different with this story poem format. Leslie Ann is a spoiled brat; we'll follow her exploit in the next 13 or 14 postings. I appreciate your encouraging comments and generous rating!
Comment from nancy_e_davis
The story is fine but you used some unusual words that although impressive were not put there for the average person to understand. Example,largesse, I looked it up but I wouldn't read a book that I had to look up words to understand.Other phrases I didn't think were usual language...to get her deposed, sneers were her usual exalther, GPA was inflated, with an air fit for a regal.
These phrases are not there for a quick read. Other than that It proves to be leading to a good tale. I will continue if you tone it down a bit,I like it. LOL Nancy
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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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The story is fine but you used some unusual words that although impressive were not put there for the average person to understand. Example,largesse, I looked it up but I wouldn't read a book that I had to look up words to understand.Other phrases I didn't think were usual language...to get her deposed, sneers were her usual exalther, GPA was inflated, with an air fit for a regal.
These phrases are not there for a quick read. Other than that It proves to be leading to a good tale. I will continue if you tone it down a bit,I like it. LOL Nancy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks, I'll consider your comments.