Youth
Obsevation of nature &, living surrounding.3 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a nice start to a poem. It does not fit the 5 syllable, 7 syllable, 5 syllable format, though.
You could shorten the first line like this:
Blooming flow'rs on land
Then second line could be shortened to:
I can't touch with empty hand
Then third line could be:
fearing withering
or
fearing it's withered
Good luck in the contest.
   |
This is a nice start to a poem. It does not fit the 5 syllable, 7 syllable, 5 syllable format, though.
You could shorten the first line like this:
Blooming flow'rs on land
Then second line could be shortened to:
I can't touch with empty hand
Then third line could be:
fearing withering
or
fearing it's withered
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
Comment from Starlit Ink
You went over the correct amount of syllables, but what you are saying is great. I would suggest counting the syllables and then editing, since the syllables should be correct for a contest. Those flowers in nature are definitely fragile, aren't they?
|
You went over the correct amount of syllables, but what you are saying is great. I would suggest counting the syllables and then editing, since the syllables should be correct for a contest. Those flowers in nature are definitely fragile, aren't they?
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
Comment from trevorletang
Well done on the 5-7-5 style. The contrast and colour is very fitting for the poem, would have liked to see a beautiful picture to go with it.
|
Well done on the 5-7-5 style. The contrast and colour is very fitting for the poem, would have liked to see a beautiful picture to go with it.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
