Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I liked the format of short, three-line stanzas and rhymes. The play on the impaling bird and the picture plus the cactus quill is creative and effective. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013

Thanks Joan, and, that's not a photograph that I took.

reply by Joan E. on 11-Aug-2013

Thanks--I did check your notes to be sure! -Joan

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2013

Smile!

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

The picture that complements your poem is scary to say the least. Thanks for the foot note teaching us some. I loved the way the poem looked and sounded.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 10-Aug-2013

Thank you Ine. That is a scary piece of art from the science fiction book Hyperion.

reply by robina1978 on 10-Aug-2013

OK, dodn't know that one, Ine

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Good God man, now I have to write or be impaled on a cactus quill? What if sometimes I wish I could stop? But you are right, there is nothing worse than walking around with an unfinished verse waiting to get out. Like your form, your free verse. Are you by any chance a science fiction fan? That image is of The Shrike, a creature from Dan Simmons' s Hugo and Nebuls award winning novel Hyperion.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Thanksbp Ravenblack, why I love science fiction. You noticed the Hyperion connection. There is also on real mean machinegun named the shrike and it think an aircraft too.

reply by ravenblack on 09-Aug-2013

Have you read Hyperion?

reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Not yet, but I plan to. Ran across it while looking for shrike pictures.

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel
Excellent musings as might be said. Unconventional structure and rhyme and flow.. Visually appealing with space and symmetry. Good rhyme scheme followed consistently. My muse is a beautiful woman. Hope she does not look like your illustration.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Thanks Preston. Mine is a beautiful woman too. The Shrike is a henchman.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

A lovely poem, Treischel. I had never heard of a Shrike before, I don't think I really want to know it now, after the way you described it in your author notes. Your poem comes through really wonderfully, OK, there is no named format, but all styles started that way, this one might just catch on. I know one thing, the author did not take this persons photo!! LOL xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Thank you Sandra. No, you are correct, it's not a photograph.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

This is muse..ical......or should I say musiquill.......I liked learning about the Shrike....this is great......write on..............
This was great art work
God bless

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Thank you kiwi. I like that musi-quill thought.

Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

So get going
You might write
Through the night



Or you'll find
Your body still
On cactus quill


It is triplets Tom and nothing more. But oh what triplets they are. Awesome use of the cactus in this one as a place of death.

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Thanks Gungalo. I figured you'd know and tell me if it if there was some format.

reply by Gungalo on 09-Aug-2013

Smile.

Comment from Sararb

Excellent

Lovely poem with s great story, and the rhyming and flow so smooth for an easy and a delightful read. Great job. Poor little mouse being stalked by the shrife. Sararb :)

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Thanks Sara. Yes, mice seem a food for many.