5/7/5 (Leaves in Fright)
Leaves float back to tree, so frightened.121 total reviews
Comment from BLACKDYKE
Sometimes I wish there were a way to
get back to the womb and start again
lively' but as we all know, we only
have one chance. Autumn is upon us
once more, we must grasp it's goodness
and appreciate the season. Good 5-7-5
Eric
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Sometimes I wish there were a way to
get back to the womb and start again
lively' but as we all know, we only
have one chance. Autumn is upon us
once more, we must grasp it's goodness
and appreciate the season. Good 5-7-5
Eric
Comment Written 25-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thanks for reading.
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my pleasure
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Frightening g. Halloween
Whoever seen leaves go back to the trees. But the message is clear and sticking.
I love this writing, a lot of frightening imageries.
Benny Beeharry
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Frightening g. Halloween
Whoever seen leaves go back to the trees. But the message is clear and sticking.
I love this writing, a lot of frightening imageries.
Benny Beeharry
Comment Written 25-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thanks for reading.
Comment from Sagnik Das
Very articulately, & adeptly improvised. In descriptive vitality , combined with a Romantic narrative, this discernible work indeed fares well, in evoking a conspicuous array of cohesive mental images, & associative sensibilities pertaining to some inauspicious premonition (the way it struck me) .... characterized by style & epigrammatic simplicity.
I love the subtlety of consonance (especially the 'B' & 'T' phonetics), & the phrasal epithets conjured all through (especially, your clever choice of incorporating internal rhymes, such as -- 'black' & 'back', besides the main counterparts ['night' & 'fright']) - very innovative & EXPRESSIVE, both from the prospect of imagery, as well as an enchanting lyrical effect.
The brevity has also been brilliantly utilized all through, with a sharp observation in the concluding line {as befits such poetic formats, or so I have heard}, & hence, there thrives every credible reason for me to commend you wholeheartedly - very well done.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Very articulately, & adeptly improvised. In descriptive vitality , combined with a Romantic narrative, this discernible work indeed fares well, in evoking a conspicuous array of cohesive mental images, & associative sensibilities pertaining to some inauspicious premonition (the way it struck me) .... characterized by style & epigrammatic simplicity.
I love the subtlety of consonance (especially the 'B' & 'T' phonetics), & the phrasal epithets conjured all through (especially, your clever choice of incorporating internal rhymes, such as -- 'black' & 'back', besides the main counterparts ['night' & 'fright']) - very innovative & EXPRESSIVE, both from the prospect of imagery, as well as an enchanting lyrical effect.
The brevity has also been brilliantly utilized all through, with a sharp observation in the concluding line {as befits such poetic formats, or so I have heard}, & hence, there thrives every credible reason for me to commend you wholeheartedly - very well done.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Thank you so very much for reading and giving me a thorough review.
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My foremost privilege...
Comment from Paul Sienicki
Ha, this is interesting. The leaves returning to their original state, reminds of eternal recurrence, a liberating idea that things go though the cycle and one should accept its fate and his/her choices made because one would have always done these actions. Thanks that was good.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Ha, this is interesting. The leaves returning to their original state, reminds of eternal recurrence, a liberating idea that things go though the cycle and one should accept its fate and his/her choices made because one would have always done these actions. Thanks that was good.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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I believe that you overly thought this one, Paul. The fallen leaves were frightened by what they saw on the ground, walking around on Halloween, and were frightened back to the trees from whence they came. I usually keep it simple. Thanks for reading. livelylinda
Comment from Janelle
Loved this poem livelylinda! It is a hard genre of poetry to conform too and the rules are so strict with no way of bending them if you want it to fit the competition criteria, but you have managed to do so admirably and produced a clever poem that paints a great picture (your choice of artwork is excellent as well!) and I think is an excellent entry for the comp. Good luck. Regards, Jan
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Loved this poem livelylinda! It is a hard genre of poetry to conform too and the rules are so strict with no way of bending them if you want it to fit the competition criteria, but you have managed to do so admirably and produced a clever poem that paints a great picture (your choice of artwork is excellent as well!) and I think is an excellent entry for the comp. Good luck. Regards, Jan
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Can you believe, I lost the contest? LOLOL I'm certainly glad that you like this piece, though. Thanks for reading Janelle.
Comment from Cedar
This is a very interesting 5-7-5. It's a great entry for this contest since we are so close to Halloween. I wish you good luck and happy Halloween. Bill
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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This is a very interesting 5-7-5. It's a great entry for this contest since we are so close to Halloween. I wish you good luck and happy Halloween. Bill
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Didn't win this contest but won another one. Thanks for reading. livelylinda
Comment from Starlit Ink
I enjoyed your use of personification, and how it fit with the season so nicely. Even the leaves get spooked this time of year. I also like that you used rhyme to enhance your poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I enjoyed your use of personification, and how it fit with the season so nicely. Even the leaves get spooked this time of year. I also like that you used rhyme to enhance your poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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I lost the contest but pleased that you enjoyed this poem. livelylinda
Comment from boxergirl
'twas the black of night
dead leaves jumped back onto trees
so raw was their fright
Ha! This one made me smile. I like the imagery created with the leaves being frightened (personification) and jumping (personification) back onto trees. 8-)
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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'twas the black of night
dead leaves jumped back onto trees
so raw was their fright
Ha! This one made me smile. I like the imagery created with the leaves being frightened (personification) and jumping (personification) back onto trees. 8-)
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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So pleased that you liked it. Thanks for reading. livelylinda
Comment from gramalot8
Linda, this is a very well written 5-7-5 poem. It is a hard style which I don't attempt very often. Your words paint a beautiful picture of this time of year. Thanks for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Linda, this is a very well written 5-7-5 poem. It is a hard style which I don't attempt very often. Your words paint a beautiful picture of this time of year. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Thanks for reading. livelylinda
Comment from manicblue
Interesting 5/7/5. I would suggest (these are your words to exprress as you like) changing the word "raw" only because fall's leaves are dead, the opposite of raw (living)). Such as "frigid was their fright" ? I wish you well in this contest.
MB xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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Interesting 5/7/5. I would suggest (these are your words to exprress as you like) changing the word "raw" only because fall's leaves are dead, the opposite of raw (living)). Such as "frigid was their fright" ? I wish you well in this contest.
MB xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2013
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The poem clearly states that the leaves were dead. . .it was their fright that was raw. Open your mind to new, clever, unique, unusual descriptive words. It is what wins me contests.
Thanks for reading. livelylinda