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Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "Push and Pull"Personal poems
18 total reviews
Comment from denhagan
This is a beautiful Spenserian Sonnet poem that gives us a personal glimpse into a trying time in your life. Written in iambic pentameter with great rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem. Great picture. Glad you came through okay.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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This is a beautiful Spenserian Sonnet poem that gives us a personal glimpse into a trying time in your life. Written in iambic pentameter with great rhythm and rhyming throughout the poem. Great picture. Glad you came through okay.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2014
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Thank you be hagan. Thanks for this inspiration and comments.
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You're welcome Treischel,
Dennis
Comment from CornishChick
This is superb, from the title to the last line. I think most people have reached a point in life where despair almost won. You bring this out so clearly and I wasn't sure you were going to jump until the last two lines. You held the suspense magnificently.
Loved "the brooding ocean" because it mirrored the MC's thoughts. Also loved the line "ocean pulled on me to be consumed."
Superior work - as usual!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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This is superb, from the title to the last line. I think most people have reached a point in life where despair almost won. You bring this out so clearly and I wasn't sure you were going to jump until the last two lines. You held the suspense magnificently.
Loved "the brooding ocean" because it mirrored the MC's thoughts. Also loved the line "ocean pulled on me to be consumed."
Superior work - as usual!
Comment Written 03-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2014
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Thank you for a consummate review and such high recognition.
Comment from adewpearl
strong rhyming in good Spenserian Sonnet format - I like the linked rhymes
good consistent use of iambic meter makes for good flow and the enjambment keeps the flow going from line to line
excellent alliteration in phrases like condition cruelly caused
good consonance in find relief from fate
and in sang Siren songs
and seed still stirred to survive
Effective use of questions to engage the reader
compelling expression of emotion
I like the progression to hope in the ending
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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strong rhyming in good Spenserian Sonnet format - I like the linked rhymes
good consistent use of iambic meter makes for good flow and the enjambment keeps the flow going from line to line
excellent alliteration in phrases like condition cruelly caused
good consonance in find relief from fate
and in sang Siren songs
and seed still stirred to survive
Effective use of questions to engage the reader
compelling expression of emotion
I like the progression to hope in the ending
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you Brooke for this outstanding review. I'm pleased you liked it and appreciate your input.
Comment from ravenblack
Strong execution of the Spenserian sonnet. Sometimes life hands us an undertow. I'm glad that you did not take the plunge.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Strong execution of the Spenserian sonnet. Sometimes life hands us an undertow. I'm glad that you did not take the plunge.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much ravenblack. Me too! :-)
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Very well done, Tom. I'm sorry that you experienced thoughts of ending it all. So glad the seed and speck of hope was still there to sustain you. You did a good job of capturing the "push/pull" emotions set against the backdrop of the ocean's waves.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Very well done, Tom. I'm sorry that you experienced thoughts of ending it all. So glad the seed and speck of hope was still there to sustain you. You did a good job of capturing the "push/pull" emotions set against the backdrop of the ocean's waves.
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you Marietta. That was a difficult time n my life.
Comment from words
I like your contemplative sonnet.
Love the use of the ocean as a metaphor for the ups and downs of life.
Especially like your closing couplet.
Hugs, d
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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I like your contemplative sonnet.
Love the use of the ocean as a metaphor for the ups and downs of life.
Especially like your closing couplet.
Hugs, d
Comment Written 02-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you words, I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Another great Sonnet style has benn learnt and mastered so artfully here.
The structure including rhyme and meter are perfect and a vivid tale unfolds as well.
Good use of description, imagery background colour choice and chosen image.
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Another great Sonnet style has benn learnt and mastered so artfully here.
The structure including rhyme and meter are perfect and a vivid tale unfolds as well.
Good use of description, imagery background colour choice and chosen image.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you Shirley for this wonderful appraisal.
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Dear Tom, Thanks for your author notes guided me perfectly and made this and enjoyable read. Strong rhyme, creative and well penned work.
Thanks for sharing and Happy New Year!
Maureen
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Dear Tom, Thanks for your author notes guided me perfectly and made this and enjoyable read. Strong rhyme, creative and well penned work.
Thanks for sharing and Happy New Year!
Maureen
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2014
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Thank you Maureen. Glad that time is over.
Comment from Joan E.
I am sorry to hear you experienced such bleak days--I hope penning this sonnet drove away the traces of darkness. I admired your rhymes plus alliteration of "s's" and courage to share your emotions. Here's to a new year filled with hope- Joan
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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I am sorry to hear you experienced such bleak days--I hope penning this sonnet drove away the traces of darkness. I admired your rhymes plus alliteration of "s's" and courage to share your emotions. Here's to a new year filled with hope- Joan
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Thank you Joan. That was twenty years ago.
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Pfew, that's a relief! Again, here's to hope- Joan
Comment from Cindy Warren
I'm glad you found that speck of hope. When I was married I seriously considered ending it all, too. People would tell me there was light at the end of the tunnel, and I was sure if there was, it would be a train charging straight at me. I hope your poem will inspire others to find that speck of hope.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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I'm glad you found that speck of hope. When I was married I seriously considered ending it all, too. People would tell me there was light at the end of the tunnel, and I was sure if there was, it would be a train charging straight at me. I hope your poem will inspire others to find that speck of hope.
Comment Written 01-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2014
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Thank you Cindy, for your wonderful words.
