Comment from flora loucheur

Excellent

Good build-up throughout the story. Nice to find a happy ending. I could have used a little more understanding about the pills/routine. Was the change to the routine a step toward personal improvement. Confused.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2014

Thanks, Flora. In my mind, Sam's owner had gone through a devastating traumatic event, but I preferred to leave it to the reader's imagination, and it hopefully added some intrigue to the storyline. Cheers, MM

Comment from PearlW

Excellent

I know you had to keep your word count down, but it really feels like there needs to be more :) Perhaps consider it as part of a longer story in the future?

I loved the scenery you painted so well, the recluse's hesitation to meet the old woman, and the dog who finally brought them together, forcing them to take the first step towards friendship. All of it was very well written. As I said, I enjoyed it so much, that I had hoped there would be more.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 14-Feb-2014

Thanks PearlW. I really appreciate the comments as it's definitely gratifying to know a reader wants more. And there's been quite a few requests for more so I'll definitely consider it. Cheers, MM.

Comment from padumachitta

Excellent

Hello. I like the detail. I like the subtleness of the underlying issue. I have nothing to add. will you add to this? I want to know more.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks. I've had a few requests already regarding expanding the story and I must say, it's great to get that feedback. Will definitely consider expending I think.

Comment from lludlow

Excellent

Liked this a lot. Can easily be the beginning of a novel. I like how we don't know if Sam's owner is male or female, or how old he/she is. I'm questioning why Sam's owner is there. What happened? And the last line is lovely.
I do hope you'll expand on this.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks your comments. Sam's owner (in my mind anyway) was male, but after reading your comments, there's absolutely no reason it could not be a woman, which is great a realization for me, so thank you very much. I will definitely think about expanding the story.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hello mortman,

There was something very touching about this story ... a recluse - running away from a previous life, perhaps - afraid to get attached to comfort.

I love the interaction between the man and his dog.

My best wishes in the contest.

Sonali



Sam and I always took the path by the old woman's house at roughly the same time every day(,) no matter what the weather conditions

shifting his gaze from the house to me(,) and then back to the house

four months, my life (had been) an unchanging routine

looked skyward(,) my eyes blinded by snowflakes

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks, Sonali. I was debating whether to change was to had been, but you're right, so I had to find a word elsewhere to clip. Also added the commas. Glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from angelface2

Excellent

Aww I love this little story. I didn't count the words, but I will take your word for it that it is 1000. Cute as can be. I don't think there was any spag. Miss Sally

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2014

Thanks Miss Sally. Main issues I've had have been around formatting, but I think I finally have solved those. Glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Animals sense more that humans do and can understand trouble before we can. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2014

Thanks c_lucas. They most certainly do!

reply by c_lucas on 13-Feb-2014

You're welcome.

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This is a great story I was hooked from the first word wish I had a six left to give you just a few things 'What if she was sick? Or had taken a fall? (There?S) no one else around for miles.I think you mean (there's)
"Is that what you're trying to tell me, Sam?" I asked in a whisper. (?She) needs my help?" There needs to be a space
good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 12-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2014

Thanks dmt. I've had so many formatting issues with this thing! It looks fine, but when I save it, those damn ?s remain. I can't seem to get the editor to accept my changes. When I first pasted this thing in, it was filled with ?s. Anyway, glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from Antoine Charlemaine

Excellent

Very, very well written and extremely entertaining. Of course, you wanted me to think the poor old lady had died. I was led on very convincingly. Loved your conclusion. Loved the interaction between you and Sam. Loved the way you invite the reader to 'read between the lines' and draw their own conclusions. Extremely well done. Would have given you a six, but am clean out, alas. Thanks, mortman. Antoine.

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014

Thanks Antoine. Glad you enjoyed it and appreciate the sentiment.

Comment from Tatarka2

Excellent

Such an intriguing beginning! It seems like the opening of a wonderful story. So many questions - why is he there? From what is he recovering? How will he and the woman interact in the future? And the dog! How very true that dogs somehow know, and try to tell us, things that we can't know. I would love to read the rest of this story. I know you had a 1,000 word limit, but to me it seems there's a lot more to this one - -

 Comment Written 11-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2014

I hadn't thought about expanding, but it's an interesting idea. Thanks.