The Fires of Freedom
Let there be War16 total reviews
Comment from Sylvia Page
just with a huge perfectly shaped ass/arse,
"She does have a great ass/arse, sire,
"Next time I shall look for more than a great ass/arse.
{ass is an animal similar to a donkey and doesn't relate to the anatomy of a man or woman or even a beast}
A good story.
Cheers
Sylvia
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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just with a huge perfectly shaped ass/arse,
"She does have a great ass/arse, sire,
"Next time I shall look for more than a great ass/arse.
{ass is an animal similar to a donkey and doesn't relate to the anatomy of a man or woman or even a beast}
A good story.
Cheers
Sylvia
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you for reading and reviewing this story, Sylvia. No, it's ass. Arse is how the British and Non-Americans spell it in english. In the states we spell it differently.
JW
Comment from Dean Kuch
King Talenidis is facing an impending invasion against his fortress by the Turkish fleet. His son is a coward, and it troubles the King greatly. He confides in his life-long friend, who in turn cracks jokes about the Queen's large ass, which lightens the mood and considerably boosts the morale of the men.
After coming ashore, the Turk armies approach the fortress walls form the canyon. Talenidis had soaked the ground with oil, then sent flaming missile of boulders from catapults and flaming arrows from his archers, burning the approaching hordes.
Talenidis and his men had won this round. But the next time they returned, the Turks would be ready.
Greta story, lancellot. This has a definite "Game of Thrones" and "300" feel to it.
Great work!
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King Talenidis is facing an impending invasion against his fortress by the Turkish fleet. His son is a coward, and it troubles the King greatly. He confides in his life-long friend, who in turn cracks jokes about the Queen's large ass, which lightens the mood and considerably boosts the morale of the men.
After coming ashore, the Turk armies approach the fortress walls form the canyon. Talenidis had soaked the ground with oil, then sent flaming missile of boulders from catapults and flaming arrows from his archers, burning the approaching hordes.
Talenidis and his men had won this round. But the next time they returned, the Turks would be ready.
Greta story, lancellot. This has a definite "Game of Thrones" and "300" feel to it.
Great work!
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from pbroussard209
Great story, a very entertaining and fun read. I'm not sure what they had spread on the ground and now find myself trying to figure it out. Sulfur, and gunpowder maybe, but was gunpowder in that area during this time period, also wouldn't the sulfur smell bad? See now you need to tell me, or I maybe come obsessed, with it. lol
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Great story, a very entertaining and fun read. I'm not sure what they had spread on the ground and now find myself trying to figure it out. Sulfur, and gunpowder maybe, but was gunpowder in that area during this time period, also wouldn't the sulfur smell bad? See now you need to tell me, or I maybe come obsessed, with it. lol
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from EvaGriffin
I don't know how you manage to write so well in different genres, private eye to ancient warrior. You set it up well, slid in the issue with his son but kept us focused on a great battle so we were prepared for but surprised by the ending. Bravo. This goes in your collection of short and sassy essays -- perhaps a book one day? I only found one typing question which is: Of the one fifty ships. Should that be "more than fifty?
Thanks for the fun.
Eva
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I don't know how you manage to write so well in different genres, private eye to ancient warrior. You set it up well, slid in the issue with his son but kept us focused on a great battle so we were prepared for but surprised by the ending. Bravo. This goes in your collection of short and sassy essays -- perhaps a book one day? I only found one typing question which is: Of the one fifty ships. Should that be "more than fifty?
Thanks for the fun.
Eva
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
Comment from michaelcahill
"sometimes courage is all that stands between freedom and the slaver's yoke." I don't usually copy and paste things, but that is one rousing line right there. Love it!! Great little story here. Flowed nicely with a nice bit of humor and a good dose of wisdom that made if all quite believable. Well done. Wouldn't mind some more adventures with these characters. mikey
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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"sometimes courage is all that stands between freedom and the slaver's yoke." I don't usually copy and paste things, but that is one rousing line right there. Love it!! Great little story here. Flowed nicely with a nice bit of humor and a good dose of wisdom that made if all quite believable. Well done. Wouldn't mind some more adventures with these characters. mikey
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, Mikey. I was just thinking about that today. We'll see how the muse takes me.
JW
Comment from c_lucas
If I remember right, the Romans discover the fire that water could not put out. Archimedes discovered it first for the Greeks. Those lessons are decade old and I may have my facts screwed up. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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If I remember right, the Romans discover the fire that water could not put out. Archimedes discovered it first for the Greeks. Those lessons are decade old and I may have my facts screwed up. This is very well written.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much. I think it was Kallinikos, a Syrian engineer.
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Thank you for the info. You're welcome, Lancellot. Charlie
Comment from DonandVicki
Well constructed fictional flash story. You have a good sense of story and character development which holds on to the readers attention. Don
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Well constructed fictional flash story. You have a good sense of story and character development which holds on to the readers attention. Don
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much, Don.
Comment from TheWriteTeach
I don't usually care for anything to do with war, and I very nearly passed this up. But there was something that made me read the first few lines. I was hooked and had to read to see what happened. This was a serious piece with excellent humor woven in at exactly the right spots to relieve tension. You did a very good job of creating that tension and had me sitting on the edge of my seat, fearing for the men's lives. Everything you wrote moved the story forward - nothing slowed or stalled it out. You had plenty of action taking place, and this flowed smoothly from start to finish. In this small space, you were able to round out the characters of the king and his son. You very effectively told the story of a battle to the death without all the gore and bloodshed that usually turn me away from such stories. With the exception of some comma errors, this was very well written. If this were for a contest, I'd say it would be a contender.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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I don't usually care for anything to do with war, and I very nearly passed this up. But there was something that made me read the first few lines. I was hooked and had to read to see what happened. This was a serious piece with excellent humor woven in at exactly the right spots to relieve tension. You did a very good job of creating that tension and had me sitting on the edge of my seat, fearing for the men's lives. Everything you wrote moved the story forward - nothing slowed or stalled it out. You had plenty of action taking place, and this flowed smoothly from start to finish. In this small space, you were able to round out the characters of the king and his son. You very effectively told the story of a battle to the death without all the gore and bloodshed that usually turn me away from such stories. With the exception of some comma errors, this was very well written. If this were for a contest, I'd say it would be a contender.
Suzanne
Comment Written 09-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much. I don't write in this category either, but I was feeling adventurous. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
JW
Comment from madhatter1977
Interesting story, lancellot and set in a greek/turkish battle from the classical period. The setting is well drawn and the story well told. I noticed a couple of spags but they don't detract. I.e. Soon the very ground of under the king's feet shook
Courage can be seen in many ways, however, not just on a battlefield. Best wishes, Hatter :)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Interesting story, lancellot and set in a greek/turkish battle from the classical period. The setting is well drawn and the story well told. I noticed a couple of spags but they don't detract. I.e. Soon the very ground of under the king's feet shook
Courage can be seen in many ways, however, not just on a battlefield. Best wishes, Hatter :)
Comment Written 09-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much. I appreciate the review. I will fix that.
Comment from humpwhistle
Lancellot, I like this tale of courage and ingenuity very much. I particularly like the human element you incorporated.
But I have some questions. Is this a depiction of a real battle? I know you posted this as fiction, but you mention the Turkish fleet and gods related to Zeus. This suggests a real battle. Also, I don't think catapults were ever an effective weapon against ships. Accuracy was not a strong point.
I don't mean to pick nits, I'm just asking questions.
Peace, Lee
He knew ,as did his brave generals, that if even half --extra space after 'knew'
"Landfall, Landfall!" As one the men turned their eyes shoreward. It was an awesome sight.--I think tou want to change paragraph after the quote.
Soon the very ground of under the king's feet --'of' may not be necessary.
and for the man beside(s?) you
unison (a dozens?) of arrows burst into flames.
"Arm the catapults."--I'm no expert, but wouldn't the catapults
already be 'armed'?
Perhaps you meant 'ingnite' or something like that.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Lancellot, I like this tale of courage and ingenuity very much. I particularly like the human element you incorporated.
But I have some questions. Is this a depiction of a real battle? I know you posted this as fiction, but you mention the Turkish fleet and gods related to Zeus. This suggests a real battle. Also, I don't think catapults were ever an effective weapon against ships. Accuracy was not a strong point.
I don't mean to pick nits, I'm just asking questions.
Peace, Lee
He knew ,as did his brave generals, that if even half --extra space after 'knew'
"Landfall, Landfall!" As one the men turned their eyes shoreward. It was an awesome sight.--I think tou want to change paragraph after the quote.
Soon the very ground of under the king's feet --'of' may not be necessary.
and for the man beside(s?) you
unison (a dozens?) of arrows burst into flames.
"Arm the catapults."--I'm no expert, but wouldn't the catapults
already be 'armed'?
Perhaps you meant 'ingnite' or something like that.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thank you very much.
