Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Excellent minute poem and a good strong entry to the contest.
I love the stories of the sea and the call of the adventure.
This caught it very welll

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Barb

I enjoyed the challenge of creating a good, old-fashioned story in this short form.

Steve

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Strong images and feelings come through your words. I can see the sea being wild and the danger of dead man's reef. Your words are an analogy to the storms of life and then often the calm follows.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thank you.

Spot on!

Steve

Comment from Loren (7)

Excellent

I see that your last stanza may carry two meanings. One that there is always a storm coming, somewhere. Or, that the time of mourning has come from the storm and loss just passed. Either way, it is an intriguing thought/poem. Loren

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Loren. Always good to see how others may interpret my poems.

Steve

Comment from Marykelly

Excellent

You have captured the storm at sea in just a few lines, and also include the tragic death of the speaker's father in that storm. The irony is that the bells ring to toll his death at sea on a morning when the sea is calm.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Mary.

It was a late decision to add the irony in the last stanza - I think it definitely gives the reader something to ponder.

Steve

reply by Marykelly on 04-Mar-2016

good decision

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

A neat and tight story. I've always enjoyed seafaring adventures.
Your poem leave a lot to the imagination--just as I prefer.
I like the archaic language, and the enjambment
in the last stanza.

I'm afraid I don't know a minute from an hour.
But I know what I like.



Best of luck with the Committee.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Lee.

let's hope the committee likes ye olde Englishe... Didn't even get a sniff in the last contest and I thought that was one of my better poems. Oh, well...

Steve

reply by humpwhistle on 04-Mar-2016

The Committee surprises me both good and bad. But, like you, I've written some of my favorite stuff for these contests. Winning and losing ain't the true measure. The Committee is an audience like any other. Sometimes you connect, sometimes not. But we can't judge our material on one audience.

One the other hand, I hate losing!

reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Me too!

reply by Anonymous Member on 07-Mar-2016

The Committee surprises me both good and bad. But, like you, I've written some of my favorite stuff for these contests. Winning and losing ain't the true measure. The Committee is an audience like any other. Sometimes you connect, sometimes not. But we can't judge our material on one audience.

One the other hand, I hate losing!

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Eloquent entry for this contest, Steve. Well timed and rhyme. Excellent fluid flow with fine enjambment between lines. Excellent poetic devices, especially the superb alliteration and consonance of F in first stanza and the assonance of A, consonance of L and S and alliteration of W in second stanza, and the continuation of resonant S and consonance of L in the last stanza, coupled with alliterated R ---all of these fine phonetics make this sound YUMMY read aloud. Tongue candy. Great rhymes too.

True to form and well presented. Bravo and good luck in the contest.

Love, rd

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Rama, and congratulations on your placing in the Rispetto - lovely piece.

Steve

reply by rama devi on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks so much! :-))) Congrats on all your wins too! :)

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Steve,

Really good piece here and should do very well in the competition (after mine of course! lol)
I don't know much about poetic forms, but this one I can understand, and this fits perfectly.
Excellent presentation in the whole.

Best of luck to you.
G

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Gareth - don't think I've seen yours. I shall have to go and have a peek to see what I'll be runner-up to.

Steve

reply by giraffmang on 04-Mar-2016

Man, that's funny!

Comment from William Ross

Excellent

very nice great rhyming and rhythm a wonderful read on this minute poem good luck to you on this and enjoy this wonderful day we have.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, William!

Steve

Comment from lightink

Excellent

What a dramatic minute! There some archaic pathos in it and it immediately gets the reader's full attention! Great stormy wording! Good luck at the contest!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Jyoti.

Yeah, I went for the full-on old-fashioned flavour for this one.

Steve

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

A really nice contest entry, Steve :) You followed all the strict form requirements. I'm especially pleased to see you followed the iambic meter form rule even though the site allows it to be ignored. You have a wonderful theme and I think you will do well in the results!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2016

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2016

Thanks, Joy.

You're right - I don't think I could even contemplate a Minute Poem without the iambic meter - it's part of its special make-up.

Steve