Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Scratch"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
15 total reviews
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Great as always. I am still waiting for the ending to the one with Bo Bo or something like that, the awful clown guy. Is this going to be a book? I know you were working on getting a book ready to publish. When will that one be out?
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Great as always. I am still waiting for the ending to the one with Bo Bo or something like that, the awful clown guy. Is this going to be a book? I know you were working on getting a book ready to publish. When will that one be out?
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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This is that book. It is being final edited, so hang in there. Bee Bo is on the way. Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story Appreciate the continued support.
Comment from kiwijenny
"Always pay attention to the smallest details in whatever you're examining," were words he'd previously told me before. You don't need previously and before....he'd told me previously or he had told me before.
Couldn't stop reading. Great writing.
God bless
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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"Always pay attention to the smallest details in whatever you're examining," were words he'd previously told me before. You don't need previously and before....he'd told me previously or he had told me before.
Couldn't stop reading. Great writing.
God bless
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and write an insightful review.
Comment from apky
Well it looks as if our little hero is headed to be a crime expert.
Another enjoyable chapter that is well written and very compelling to the reader.
"You mean the old Chinaman got waxed?" _ this made me stop for a beat. I'm not sure what "waxed" really means here. Nothing to do with the wonderful story and your great storytelling skills - just ignorant me.
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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Well it looks as if our little hero is headed to be a crime expert.
Another enjoyable chapter that is well written and very compelling to the reader.
"You mean the old Chinaman got waxed?" _ this made me stop for a beat. I'm not sure what "waxed" really means here. Nothing to do with the wonderful story and your great storytelling skills - just ignorant me.
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 28-May-2018
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waxed means murdered. Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's tale. Appreciate the insightful review.
Comment from Swampfox1
Going back to the reply , I now see where they didn't get there with the sheriff. That is more clear now. You write: "Doom, plain and simple in many ugly forms, was written all over the place as Matt and I approached the Kwok Fai Lau Chinese Laundry. Sheriff Daniels was already onsite at the bloodbath. "
That is a nice start up to a chapter but could I possibly recommend this so as to clarify to the reader what was taking place.
" Matt and I headed home. The fish were not biting very well and we tired of reeling in empty hooks. We'd also heard some loud bangs coming from the town and figured we would stop and investigate. It was Doom, plain and simple in many ugly forms, that was written all over the place as Matt and I approached the Kwok Fai Lau Chinese Laundry. the place was a mess.
Sheriff Daniels was already onsite at the bloodbath."
That is what I would suggest to clarify the situation and separate the issues. Sorry about the misunderstanding. Sorry in taking so long to get back to you. Have a great Memorial Day, make it a safe one, and have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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Going back to the reply , I now see where they didn't get there with the sheriff. That is more clear now. You write: "Doom, plain and simple in many ugly forms, was written all over the place as Matt and I approached the Kwok Fai Lau Chinese Laundry. Sheriff Daniels was already onsite at the bloodbath. "
That is a nice start up to a chapter but could I possibly recommend this so as to clarify to the reader what was taking place.
" Matt and I headed home. The fish were not biting very well and we tired of reeling in empty hooks. We'd also heard some loud bangs coming from the town and figured we would stop and investigate. It was Doom, plain and simple in many ugly forms, that was written all over the place as Matt and I approached the Kwok Fai Lau Chinese Laundry. the place was a mess.
Sheriff Daniels was already onsite at the bloodbath."
That is what I would suggest to clarify the situation and separate the issues. Sorry about the misunderstanding. Sorry in taking so long to get back to you. Have a great Memorial Day, make it a safe one, and have a blessed day.
Comment Written 26-May-2018
reply by the author on 26-May-2018
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The Sheriff didn't bring them there. They were fishing at Sullivan Lake and had to ride past the laundry to get back home. Hope that clarifies your misunderstanding of the storyline. Let me know if it does not.
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Ok, So, he was riding with the sheriff and they drove past the murder scene. I will read again. I will get back to you
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I wanted to wait a while before I read it again. I had a bad cold and I think the way I was feeling may have had some influence on my comprehension. I will redo the comments on the story itself. Thank you.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, I'm sure you didn't like each other. A good chapter to your book, I liked your description of the body and that scene there. You write very well, I found this entertaining, and your grammar and punctuation, etc, are all great. Nothing to fix, and I wonder where you will take this from here, Ana.
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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Hello, I'm sure you didn't like each other. A good chapter to your book, I liked your description of the body and that scene there. You write very well, I found this entertaining, and your grammar and punctuation, etc, are all great. Nothing to fix, and I wonder where you will take this from here, Ana.
Comment Written 21-May-2018
reply by the author on 21-May-2018
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Thanks. Appreciate your thoughtful comments and review very much.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Brett. I really like this book. I think the sheriff will turn Cody around. I missed the chapters with the other murders. Was there only one other murder scene with two people killed? Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
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Hi, Brett. I really like this book. I think the sheriff will turn Cody around. I missed the chapters with the other murders. Was there only one other murder scene with two people killed? Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 18-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2018
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So far there has only been the one murder scene detailed in the book. The Chevron murders were just stated. Therefore, you did not miss anything along those lines. Glad you are enjoying Cody's story. Appreciate the comments and support.
Comment from antonieta
A good chapter of the book. I didn't read the previous chapters but this one is very explicit about what the story is about. Thanks for sharing. Interesting how you shift
the viewpoint.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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A good chapter of the book. I didn't read the previous chapters but this one is very explicit about what the story is about. Thanks for sharing. Interesting how you shift
the viewpoint.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Harry Smith
First the picture really complimented this exceptionally written short story that the reader found to be fascinating and very interesting. The reader really enjoyed the read and will be back to read more.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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First the picture really complimented this exceptionally written short story that the reader found to be fascinating and very interesting. The reader really enjoyed the read and will be back to read more.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Comment from beizanten
I think the first paragraph should break into two paragraph easier to read other than that a well written first paragraph which very good setting and detail that entice people to read more. Overall a very well written plot and interesting character that bring the story to life. You are very talented and have done really well, keep it up!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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I think the first paragraph should break into two paragraph easier to read other than that a well written first paragraph which very good setting and detail that entice people to read more. Overall a very well written plot and interesting character that bring the story to life. You are very talented and have done really well, keep it up!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2018
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Thanks. Glad you enjoyed this portion of Cody's story. Appreciate you taking the time to read it and to write a review.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
A well planned chapter with attention to detail and plot structure.
The formatting appears well sone and thw atory flows well.
I found one possible typo in the second last paragraph --
? Incrimination should be incriminating.
Keep writing.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
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A well planned chapter with attention to detail and plot structure.
The formatting appears well sone and thw atory flows well.
I found one possible typo in the second last paragraph --
? Incrimination should be incriminating.
Keep writing.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 04-May-2016
reply by the author on 05-May-2016
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Thanks for the catch. Noted, and corrected. Glad you are enjoying the story. Stay tuned. Plenty more to come.
