Orgasm
And in the end.....33 total reviews
Comment from dellsworthpoet
First I cannot avoid a pun. This poem is well grounded. The imagery is good. The descriptive words are well chosen. The one thing I might suggest is to change me to my body in the final line just to not repeat me at the end of the last two lines. Also it would reinforce the hairs on end and the expectant face thus finishing the poem with the image of corporal pleasure.
Overall a good read. Keep writing.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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First I cannot avoid a pun. This poem is well grounded. The imagery is good. The descriptive words are well chosen. The one thing I might suggest is to change me to my body in the final line just to not repeat me at the end of the last two lines. Also it would reinforce the hairs on end and the expectant face thus finishing the poem with the image of corporal pleasure.
Overall a good read. Keep writing.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thank you I appreciate your beautiful comment.
Comment from Bill Schott
First, the title was quite compelling, and after the classic build up, one finds that one verb 'earths' brings the magnitude of the moment into true perspective. A Earth- shaking experience indeed.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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First, the title was quite compelling, and after the classic build up, one finds that one verb 'earths' brings the magnitude of the moment into true perspective. A Earth- shaking experience indeed.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thank you I appreciate your beautiful comment.
Comment from Sanku
This is a well constructed poem. The structure is very good andall the lines begin with the letter'a'. The word ''earth' is used in a dynamic sense ,can have two meanings.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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This is a well constructed poem. The structure is very good andall the lines begin with the letter'a'. The word ''earth' is used in a dynamic sense ,can have two meanings.
Comment Written 16-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2021
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Thank you I appreciate your beautiful comment.
Comment from patsolstad
What an interesting poem! First of all, I LOVE the graphic you chose. Next, the form used for this piece is quite clever....All those 'A' sounds going down the left hand of the page, for instance. I must admit, though, that the last line threw me with the use of 'earths.' Is that a word? Another way to say it might be "As the charge courses through me." Very nice work! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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What an interesting poem! First of all, I LOVE the graphic you chose. Next, the form used for this piece is quite clever....All those 'A' sounds going down the left hand of the page, for instance. I must admit, though, that the last line threw me with the use of 'earths.' Is that a word? Another way to say it might be "As the charge courses through me." Very nice work! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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No it is not , It is used in the context as a seed in the ground that grows and sprout to the surface of the earth. Yeah courses might be another word for it . Thank you I aprreciate
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
The subtle and extreme state of feeling of pleasure and pain inexpressible in words you had is unexpected and abrupt; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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The subtle and extreme state of feeling of pleasure and pain inexpressible in words you had is unexpected and abrupt; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 29-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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Thank you I appreciate your review
Comment from Earl Corp
I am not a free verse poetry fan but I enjoyed this poem. You made sense and stirred emotions within me. You did a very nice job. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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I am not a free verse poetry fan but I enjoyed this poem. You made sense and stirred emotions within me. You did a very nice job. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2018
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Thank you I appreciate your review
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Poet,
Nice entry for the free verse contest. I love free verse, it is my favorite along with haiku. :)
You do a good job at describing what an orgasm feels like to you.
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Hello, Poet,
Nice entry for the free verse contest. I love free verse, it is my favorite along with haiku. :)
You do a good job at describing what an orgasm feels like to you.
Comment Written 24-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you for taking time to review my poem
Comment from maryvellef
Wonderfully interesting poem outlining every phase of this passionate earthly act. Good description with well-chosen words. No impression of triteness at all.thanks for sharing.
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reply by the author on 23-May-2016
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Wonderfully interesting poem outlining every phase of this passionate earthly act. Good description with well-chosen words. No impression of triteness at all.thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-May-2016
reply by the author on 23-May-2016
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Your word triteness in a free poem like this does not affect the body and conclusion of this poem, the writer wrote in such a way to make the introduction arouse the interest and help readers concentrate on the poem without been explicit. So using the word 'TRITE' is baseless is relation to this poem .Thanks for you review I appreciate.
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Thank you for the "lecture" about triteness. It was only the feeling and opinion I had, not got out of a textbook. Sorry, that the subject that i had appreciated being not found in your work didn't seem to please you at all.
Comment from johnwilson
This is a wonderfully descriptive short piece on a joy often not employed in poetry. I love the last line "as the charge earths itself through me". I really enjoyed reading your work!
reply by the author on 23-May-2016
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This is a wonderfully descriptive short piece on a joy often not employed in poetry. I love the last line "as the charge earths itself through me". I really enjoyed reading your work!
Comment Written 23-May-2016
reply by the author on 23-May-2016
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Thank you so much for the review I appreciate
Comment from P1
i love free form poetry as there is
no restriction on what ca be said
you have said an awful lot here, and
yet said nothing at all, if you see what
i mean. very enjoyable read
reply by the author on 23-May-2016
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i love free form poetry as there is
no restriction on what ca be said
you have said an awful lot here, and
yet said nothing at all, if you see what
i mean. very enjoyable read
Comment Written 23-May-2016
reply by the author on 23-May-2016
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Thank you so much for the review I appreciate
