Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Mama Bear - Part Two"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
7 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Great conversation between Beth and Cody. As Sheriff observed, she was handling it just right. She had the sympathy, but wasn't letting the boy off the hook by leaving without permission. Taylor will probably try to make Cody out to be lying about being hit by his car. Excellent story. judi
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Great conversation between Beth and Cody. As Sheriff observed, she was handling it just right. She had the sympathy, but wasn't letting the boy off the hook by leaving without permission. Taylor will probably try to make Cody out to be lying about being hit by his car. Excellent story. judi
Comment Written 05-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this part of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
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You're very welcome. Happy trails. judi
Comment from MTF1955
Another great chapter. Truly love these characters. Your dialogue moves the story along and sets the scene. Look forward to another after the station break. Mary
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Another great chapter. Truly love these characters. Your dialogue moves the story along and sets the scene. Look forward to another after the station break. Mary
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Glad you are enjoying this story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from misscookie
What can I say in time he will get his man dead or alive.
I hope alive so I can see what is the true reason he's after his love ones and the sheriff.
There's more to met the eye.
Cookie
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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What can I say in time he will get his man dead or alive.
I hope alive so I can see what is the true reason he's after his love ones and the sheriff.
There's more to met the eye.
Cookie
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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So glad you are enjoying this story misscookie. You know your comments and support are appreciated.
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You're very welcome.
Cookie
Comment from Sankey
Good chapter again. Always looking forward to the next one. Still a good read for sure. Amazingly there are no spags. Shock horror. Your spell checker must be real good.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Good chapter again. Always looking forward to the next one. Still a good read for sure. Amazingly there are no spags. Shock horror. Your spell checker must be real good.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Glad you are enjoying this story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from pmait
Your story has promise as a middle grade adventure. Since this is the first chapter I have read, some of my questions may be answered when I read previous ones. As for style, I would clean up the frequent clichés ('the error of his ways" and "let bygones be bygones") and some rather tortured expressions ("the fullest extent possible" and " what you did or the results thereof," but the bones are there, and you do well with dialog generally." I would use something to separate the abrupt switch of scene to Fred Taylor, and then the switch back to the Sheriff, such as the * * * some writers use. An interesting project.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Your story has promise as a middle grade adventure. Since this is the first chapter I have read, some of my questions may be answered when I read previous ones. As for style, I would clean up the frequent clichés ('the error of his ways" and "let bygones be bygones") and some rather tortured expressions ("the fullest extent possible" and " what you did or the results thereof," but the bones are there, and you do well with dialog generally." I would use something to separate the abrupt switch of scene to Fred Taylor, and then the switch back to the Sheriff, such as the * * * some writers use. An interesting project.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Glad you are enjoying this story.
Comment from DonandVicki
A fun chapter to read and I like the way that you pull the reader into the story and keep them wanting more at the end. Very well composed.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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A fun chapter to read and I like the way that you pull the reader into the story and keep them wanting more at the end. Very well composed.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Glad you are enjoying this story. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Again a great write and I am excited for each chapter. Not too long and just enough teasing to make the reader want to return for more.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Again a great write and I am excited for each chapter. Not too long and just enough teasing to make the reader want to return for more.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.
