Astatula (Final Edition)
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Coma - Part One"A young boy tries to turn his life around.Can he?
15 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
A nice photo of a boy that complements your fist chapter perfectly. This little boy got shot in the small town where he lived. The Sheriff who is also his father struggles whether to be that or be with Cody in hospital. I really liked it.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
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A nice photo of a boy that complements your fist chapter perfectly. This little boy got shot in the small town where he lived. The Sheriff who is also his father struggles whether to be that or be with Cody in hospital. I really liked it.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.
Invite you to follow along as the book progresses.
Many FanStorians tell he how much they enjoy Cody's story.
The first book in the Series, Astatula, and this one, Missing, can be found in my portfolio.
Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from AnnieDawn
This is going to be a great story. It is a great pull and has enough mystery to grab the reader and leave them wanting to continue on into the next chapter. There is only one area that gave some confusion and would be great if rewritten. Otherwise great job!
especially caring for that special ten-year-old boy laying there like she does, could not do much to sweeten Brock Daniels(This is a confusing statement and could be rewritten)
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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This is going to be a great story. It is a great pull and has enough mystery to grab the reader and leave them wanting to continue on into the next chapter. There is only one area that gave some confusion and would be great if rewritten. Otherwise great job!
especially caring for that special ten-year-old boy laying there like she does, could not do much to sweeten Brock Daniels(This is a confusing statement and could be rewritten)
Comment Written 01-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this beginning portion of the story. Many FanStorians have been following my first Cody Schroder book known as Astatula for a while now. This is another book in that Series. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Zue65
Yes, you are right, the picture really complements well your story. I will look forward to reading your next post to find out if the Sheriff will resign from his job and just focus on taking care of Cody. This promises to be an intense detective-mystery crime story. Thanks for sharing this excellent write.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Yes, you are right, the picture really complements well your story. I will look forward to reading your next post to find out if the Sheriff will resign from his job and just focus on taking care of Cody. This promises to be an intense detective-mystery crime story. Thanks for sharing this excellent write.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Much more to come.
Comment from Lynn27
This well-written story! I like how you woven all your elements into your first person narrative. I was yanked into your story.
For a parent being at the bedside their child is difficult and highly emotional which you capture nicely.
Lynn
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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This well-written story! I like how you woven all your elements into your first person narrative. I was yanked into your story.
For a parent being at the bedside their child is difficult and highly emotional which you capture nicely.
Lynn
Comment Written 16-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Brett, a very good continuation to the story of Cody. You start out in present tense and then you carry on in past tense. I think you'll have to choose.
walking in the room = walking in to the room
I was assumed they had run away = I assumed they'd run away
Well written and I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Hi Brett, a very good continuation to the story of Cody. You start out in present tense and then you carry on in past tense. I think you'll have to choose.
walking in the room = walking in to the room
I was assumed they had run away = I assumed they'd run away
Well written and I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 16-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Glad you caught that. Will have to pay more attention to the tense used. Much more to come so stay tuned.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
We see Cody is still alive, though barely, after having faced the Assassin of Astatula. In this chapter you explore the feelings and thoughts of Cody's self appointed surrogate father, the Sheriff.
Now we are left to wonder if he's going to remain Sheriff, or give it up to take care of Cody. For that answer, we will have to wait!
Great job,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
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We see Cody is still alive, though barely, after having faced the Assassin of Astatula. In this chapter you explore the feelings and thoughts of Cody's self appointed surrogate father, the Sheriff.
Now we are left to wonder if he's going to remain Sheriff, or give it up to take care of Cody. For that answer, we will have to wait!
Great job,
Rhonda
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of the first chapter. Your comments and support are appreciated.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
This is a well written chapter with a lot of sadness from the Sheriff and inner thoughts of him wanting Cody to wake up. It is difficult for Brock to watch him just laying there motionless. He is torn with wanting to be at Cody's bedside and still being Sheriff to find those missing children. This is off to a great start Brett,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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This is a well written chapter with a lot of sadness from the Sheriff and inner thoughts of him wanting Cody to wake up. It is difficult for Brock to watch him just laying there motionless. He is torn with wanting to be at Cody's bedside and still being Sheriff to find those missing children. This is off to a great start Brett,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this beginning portion of Chapter One. Tried to illustrate how for parents in a situation like this it is so hard to know where their priorities should lie - being with their child or making a living. Tough decision. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from MTF1955
Another wonderful chapter. Filled with compassion and love for our little hero Cody. Can't wait for him to wake up either. Great job. Mary
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Another wonderful chapter. Filled with compassion and love for our little hero Cody. Can't wait for him to wake up either. Great job. Mary
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One. Not sure what Cody, as the story's writer, may have in mind next. Knowing that little imp the way we all do it is hard to tell. Your comments and support appreciated. Guess we will all have to wait and see what he does next.
Comment from judiverse
I don't think you can stop the Sheriff when he learns of another challenge facing him. Missing children should be the thing to keep him on the job. Poor Cody has had quite a siege. Still in a coma after he has shot by the Astatula Assassin. His bravery has not gone unnoticed, as the city is picking up the tab for his medical expenses. He's getting the best of care, but Beth and Daniels are always on hand to stay with him. Good presentation of the Sheriff's thinking about his job versus the importance of taking care of Cody. judi
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I don't think you can stop the Sheriff when he learns of another challenge facing him. Missing children should be the thing to keep him on the job. Poor Cody has had quite a siege. Still in a coma after he has shot by the Astatula Assassin. His bravery has not gone unnoticed, as the city is picking up the tab for his medical expenses. He's getting the best of care, but Beth and Daniels are always on hand to stay with him. Good presentation of the Sheriff's thinking about his job versus the importance of taking care of Cody. judi
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One. Cody has done a good job of writing this section of the story. What will he do next? Guess we will all have to wait and see. Knowing the little imp it could be just about anything. Your comments and support appreciated.
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You're very welcome. Happy trails! judi
Comment from foxangie123
Wow what an emotional piece of writing here. I felt so angry about Cody being shot. I wanted to scream How Dare You. Very moving and entertaining.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Wow what an emotional piece of writing here. I felt so angry about Cody being shot. I wanted to scream How Dare You. Very moving and entertaining.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Glad you enjoyed this portion of Chapter One. With Cody as the story's writer will be interesting to see where he takes it from here. Knowing the little imp the way we all have come to it could be just about anything. Your comments and support appreciate.
