Deception
Flash Fiction Contest57 total reviews
Comment from Kazzawin
Very good!
Boy, is he in for a surprise. I hope she finds him and takes him for all he's got!
This is edge of the seat stuff and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Good luck in the contest : )
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
Very good!
Boy, is he in for a surprise. I hope she finds him and takes him for all he's got!
This is edge of the seat stuff and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Good luck in the contest : )
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much, and I do apologise for the late response. So much has happened here. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from seaglass
Very interesting and great writing with this plot. I've no doubt that this has happened more than once. So to have a body, he must have had someone killed? I would love to read more continuing chapters with this.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
Very interesting and great writing with this plot. I've no doubt that this has happened more than once. So to have a body, he must have had someone killed? I would love to read more continuing chapters with this.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Hi seaglass, thanks a lot for the great review. I'm sure you're right it's not the first time it's happened. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Selina Stambi
Yikes! The vile rascal. That was an unexpected conclusion.
I'd love to know more, Ulla. Perhaps you could enlarge on this story.
Best wishes for the contest.
Until next time,
Sonali xx
never slept well when Christian was(n)'t at home
She'd tossed and turned all night(,) falling into an uneasy sleep in the end.
Isabel watched the (policewoman) and nodded. "
She felt (she was) suffocating, when she looked a
stood before and (unmarked) door.
They entered a hapless room permeated by an antiseptic smell, ... I don't think 'hapless' is the word you need here.
Hapless: = unfortunate
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
Yikes! The vile rascal. That was an unexpected conclusion.
I'd love to know more, Ulla. Perhaps you could enlarge on this story.
Best wishes for the contest.
Until next time,
Sonali xx
never slept well when Christian was(n)'t at home
She'd tossed and turned all night(,) falling into an uneasy sleep in the end.
Isabel watched the (policewoman) and nodded. "
She felt (she was) suffocating, when she looked a
stood before and (unmarked) door.
They entered a hapless room permeated by an antiseptic smell, ... I don't think 'hapless' is the word you need here.
Hapless: = unfortunate
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Hi Solani thanks ever so much. So glad you liked it. And again so sorry for my very late answer. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Sasha
Flash fiction is definitely not my area of expertise but I found this one superbly done and captured my attention immediately. Great work with this and is a perfect start for a two or three parter. Keep up the great work. I am starting my reviewing slowly as I am still recuperating but I must say, it is great to finally back. .
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
Flash fiction is definitely not my area of expertise but I found this one superbly done and captured my attention immediately. Great work with this and is a perfect start for a two or three parter. Keep up the great work. I am starting my reviewing slowly as I am still recuperating but I must say, it is great to finally back. .
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Hi Sasha, it's great to hear from you again and welcome back. So the operation went fine I imagine. Wow, it's such a long time for you with those broken ribs. It's so good to hear from you.
I'm glad you like my flash story and I am thinking that I may continue it once the contest is over. Looking forward to hearing from you again. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Eric1
Hi Ulla, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, a wonderfully descriptive tale with a brilliant attention to detail and an inspirational ending, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
Hi Ulla, this is a really good entry for this particular competition, a wonderfully descriptive tale with a brilliant attention to detail and an inspirational ending, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Thanks a lot for this great review Eric. It's a while since I've seen any of your poetry. Looking forward to your next one, All the best. Ulla:))
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You are most welcome my friend.
Comment from TLPhillips
Okay, wow, I did not see that coming! Oh, and thank you for sharing your work. Not much surprises me anymore, but you definitely got me good. There were a few technical issues, but nothing major enough to warrant losing a star - a couple places felt a bit stiff (when Christian was not at home. - might read smoother as 'when Christian wasn't home') and there were some punctuation problems ( She'd tossed and turned all night falling into an uneasy sleep in the end. - I think there is supposed to be a comma between night and falling {please note that I am a comma addict so I put comma's everywhere but at least half of them are right half of the time}).
Overall, great job and I look forward to reading more of your work. Good Luck and Happy Writing!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
Okay, wow, I did not see that coming! Oh, and thank you for sharing your work. Not much surprises me anymore, but you definitely got me good. There were a few technical issues, but nothing major enough to warrant losing a star - a couple places felt a bit stiff (when Christian was not at home. - might read smoother as 'when Christian wasn't home') and there were some punctuation problems ( She'd tossed and turned all night falling into an uneasy sleep in the end. - I think there is supposed to be a comma between night and falling {please note that I am a comma addict so I put comma's everywhere but at least half of them are right half of the time}).
Overall, great job and I look forward to reading more of your work. Good Luck and Happy Writing!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thanks so much and I'm pleased you liked it. So sorry for my late answer. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from Scarbrems
Excellent work. I loved it, but I'd love a follow - up. I want to know what happens when the dastardly husband is tracked down after the failure of his horrible plan.
A perfect flash. well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
Excellent work. I loved it, but I'd love a follow - up. I want to know what happens when the dastardly husband is tracked down after the failure of his horrible plan.
A perfect flash. well done.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Hahaha, Hi Sarkems. Thanks a lot for this and the praise. Have thought about it. I may just built on it. All best. Ulla:))
Comment from frogbook
Quite original and well written with twists and turns and an intriguing ending. Fooled him, huh? LOL. Best of luck in the voting.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
Quite original and well written with twists and turns and an intriguing ending. Fooled him, huh? LOL. Best of luck in the voting.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much. All the best. Ulla:)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my! It didn't work to his satisfaction, but will they find him and punish him for the crime he committed. I am not sure, but it would make for a great continuation of the story. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
Oh my! It didn't work to his satisfaction, but will they find him and punish him for the crime he committed. I am not sure, but it would make for a great continuation of the story. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Hi Barbara, thank you very much. Have though about that I may write a continuation. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from robyn corum
Ulla,
Haha. You scared me! And I think you did it on purpose! Just so I'd 'come down hard on you'. Hahaha. When I read the first part, I was afraid you'd gone ahead and only done a 'slice of life' bit. Then I read the s cond portion and thought 'aha! Smart lady!' In a number of ways, actually.
I like the way we went from a calm, everyday morning to one filled with horror and potential disaster. The woman we see is afraid the love of her life has been lost! And we feel the relief when we all discover that's not true.
THEN we find out the turkey is gone and just bad at faking his death. There's so much more to the story and we can see it unfolding in our heads. Yay! Good work!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
Ulla,
Haha. You scared me! And I think you did it on purpose! Just so I'd 'come down hard on you'. Hahaha. When I read the first part, I was afraid you'd gone ahead and only done a 'slice of life' bit. Then I read the s cond portion and thought 'aha! Smart lady!' In a number of ways, actually.
I like the way we went from a calm, everyday morning to one filled with horror and potential disaster. The woman we see is afraid the love of her life has been lost! And we feel the relief when we all discover that's not true.
THEN we find out the turkey is gone and just bad at faking his death. There's so much more to the story and we can see it unfolding in our heads. Yay! Good work!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Robyn, this is a fantastic review. I'm so glad that I manage to have you worried LOL. No, on a serious note. This means a lot to me that I've manage to write a good Flash. Not an easy task this one. Thanks a lot for your encouraging review. Hugs. Ullaxx