Remembering A Childhood Day
A fantasy can be deadly19 total reviews
Comment from artisart4u
Looking for something to review in this category, I picked this one.
Childhood days have lots of memories- some pleasant and some not so pleasant
but you can look back and laugh. Children are inquisitive, I am that you got ok.
Congratulations on the recognized status you won.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Looking for something to review in this category, I picked this one.
Childhood days have lots of memories- some pleasant and some not so pleasant
but you can look back and laugh. Children are inquisitive, I am that you got ok.
Congratulations on the recognized status you won.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2016
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Thank you for your kind review. I intend to do more work on this story later. I had to have it ready for the contest in a very short time so it was written in a hurry. I hope to improve it some. Thanks again.
Comment from Caressa_08
I judge poems and stories how they catch my interest and this did quite a bit, and not at all boring. And they do say reality is stranger than fiction, though I can see how being a small child how we interpret things differently than adults, and can imagine myself trying to do the same thing like you did at five, as I was a deep thinker at that age also. Except my mother was like a hawk at me, and never could get away with too much when growing up. Though, your mom seemed calm and handled things so that you learned your lesson. And it seems that your dear guardian angel was there at your side to make sure you didn't die with attempting to find a way to do just that.
Thanks for sharing...Caressa_08
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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I judge poems and stories how they catch my interest and this did quite a bit, and not at all boring. And they do say reality is stranger than fiction, though I can see how being a small child how we interpret things differently than adults, and can imagine myself trying to do the same thing like you did at five, as I was a deep thinker at that age also. Except my mother was like a hawk at me, and never could get away with too much when growing up. Though, your mom seemed calm and handled things so that you learned your lesson. And it seems that your dear guardian angel was there at your side to make sure you didn't die with attempting to find a way to do just that.
Thanks for sharing...Caressa_08
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thank you, my friend. There were 12 children in our family. My mom did her best but it was hard to keep track of all of us. She was so busy all the time too. Thank you for the six stars, they are appreciated.
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was an enjoyable story, well related. The ways of children make great stories.
I spotted one SPAG. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'It has often made me wonder if young children don't accidentally kill [their selves] *themselves* while acting out some fantasy' (Fowler's Modern English Usage: 'Their selves' is non-standard for 'themselves', and arises from the tenedency to regard 'self' as a noun needing a possessive pronoun to qualify it: this is legitmate only where an adjective intervenes, eg 'their very selves').
Adrian
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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I thought this was an enjoyable story, well related. The ways of children make great stories.
I spotted one SPAG. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):
'It has often made me wonder if young children don't accidentally kill [their selves] *themselves* while acting out some fantasy' (Fowler's Modern English Usage: 'Their selves' is non-standard for 'themselves', and arises from the tenedency to regard 'self' as a noun needing a possessive pronoun to qualify it: this is legitmate only where an adjective intervenes, eg 'their very selves').
Adrian
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the grammar lesson, my friend. I appreciate all the help I can get.
Comment from Mabaker
Hey prettybluebirds, I've got one for you. I must have been seven or eight. Not old enough to have more sense, and I didn't want to be an angel nor die. I almost did. I was using a public toilet and noticed the round block of freshener and thinking it was a lolly of some sort I had a good old feed. Yeah! I ended up in hospital being pumped out and got a thrashing from Mum into the bargain. Don't mention clouds. Sincerely Anne.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Hey prettybluebirds, I've got one for you. I must have been seven or eight. Not old enough to have more sense, and I didn't want to be an angel nor die. I almost did. I was using a public toilet and noticed the round block of freshener and thinking it was a lolly of some sort I had a good old feed. Yeah! I ended up in hospital being pumped out and got a thrashing from Mum into the bargain. Don't mention clouds. Sincerely Anne.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thank you. Wow, that must have been some experience for you. I bet you watched what you ate after that. Glad you survived it okay.
Comment from MTF1955
Really insightful story. Children have died thinking they could be superman or some other superhero without realizing the consequences of their actions. They are innocent as the child in your story was. Nice job. Mary
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Really insightful story. Children have died thinking they could be superman or some other superhero without realizing the consequences of their actions. They are innocent as the child in your story was. Nice job. Mary
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thank you. The child in this story was me and this really happened. I remember yet today.
Comment from zanya
A convincing sense of verisimilitude here in this childhood tale as we are transported and enabled to inhabit the mind of the child 'all I had to do was find a way to die'-how inadequately perhaps we adults really connect with the young
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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A convincing sense of verisimilitude here in this childhood tale as we are transported and enabled to inhabit the mind of the child 'all I had to do was find a way to die'-how inadequately perhaps we adults really connect with the young
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I still remember that long ago day. I had no concept of what dying meant, I wanted to sit on a cloud.
Comment from EMB
A child trying to figure out what would be the best way to die is a very scary thought, but I could definitely see a child thinking the way you craftily portrayed one. This was a frightful read. Nice job.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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A child trying to figure out what would be the best way to die is a very scary thought, but I could definitely see a child thinking the way you craftily portrayed one. This was a frightful read. Nice job.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you. That child was me. This actually happened and I remember it well today. I had no concept of death or dying I only wanted to sit on a cloud.
Comment from Ann Dudley Duncan
What a beautiful, though tragic story! That's something I'd really like to know, is it fiction or non-fiction? You made the story so real, it's impossible to tell? I think you have an excellent chance in the competition! Good luck!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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What a beautiful, though tragic story! That's something I'd really like to know, is it fiction or non-fiction? You made the story so real, it's impossible to tell? I think you have an excellent chance in the competition! Good luck!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you. It's a true story. I remember that day very clearly at the age of 70. Thank you for the six stars too, they are appreciated.
Comment from Zue65
Oh yes, I agree with children play with fantasy and they interpret it in ways we adults find silly. Children however make fantasies their world of make believe and experiment on dangerous things without malice or intention to hurt themselves as you pointed out in this story. You made your point and parents need to listen and be vigilant. What an excellent write.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Oh yes, I agree with children play with fantasy and they interpret it in ways we adults find silly. Children however make fantasies their world of make believe and experiment on dangerous things without malice or intention to hurt themselves as you pointed out in this story. You made your point and parents need to listen and be vigilant. What an excellent write.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you, my friend. Children think strange thoughts and I was no exception. I remember my thoughts on that long ago day.
Comment from Zaymacc
Good book. I couldn't find no errors. I am speechless, Lol. It's just a really good book. You should get this book published to be honest. Try.! Excellent
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Good book. I couldn't find no errors. I am speechless, Lol. It's just a really good book. You should get this book published to be honest. Try.! Excellent
Comment Written 12-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the six stars. This is a true story of a day in my childhood. I remember that day well.
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But good book. You really wanted to be up in the clouds. Lol
