Comment from Galactia

Excellent

Hi
I loved the uniqueness of your haiku, you mentioned the man's car has hot wheels, which I thought was cleaver, still ensuring to keep the haiku true to it's form, most people end up turning their haiku into a senryu, which you didn't do and you painted a perfect image in a readers mind and did it all in just 15 syllables.

Great job and good luck, I think that this contest your in is gonna be one of the best yet, exceptional entries and actual haiku, I am impressed.

Regards
Tia

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

Thank you, Tia, :) This is not for a contest but I appreciate the compliments.

Comment from LIJ Red

Excellent

In the days before pavement, the trees along the roadside were clay red.
A long cloud of red haze hung over and followed the right of way. Bearings and steering rod ends on cars lasted a few thousand miles, and the oil in the oil bath air cleaners was mud after a few hundred miles, and changing the crankcase oil every thousand miles was essential. Viva la asphalt.
Oh, I don't see anything wrong with the Haiku.

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you very much for the review and feedback. I appreciate it. :)

Comment from brenda bickers

Excellent

Hi GBR,
I am all behind with my reviewing today. We don't have dust storms in England so it is hard to imagine what it must be like. I like your poem and the mention of hot wheels a very masculine poem.
Brenda:))x

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you very much, Brenda, I appreciate it. :)

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Hi Gypsy;
-I sure like the pun use business haiku in this case it means a hot vehicle on melted tires when you write hot wheels.
-Course the imagery is distinctly quire and definitively expressive and vividly descriptive.
-The picture of the desert is appropriate, relative and supportive to the conceptual beam of your writing.
-The first two lines of grammatically interconnected with an excellent imagery.
-The third line gives your writing that out how moment and the spontaneity of excitement which this is humor and summarize the relativity of your concept.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the Lord be with you always Gypsy.
Alex

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you very much for the review and feedback. I appreciate it. :) *gypsy hug*

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hola Gitana, como estas? This is really, really good. The picture complements it very well, but your haiku could stand alone. Wonderful words and the satori line is catching. Muy bien escrito y pensado. Un abrazo de tu amiga, Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you very much, Guapa, for the review and feedback. Gracias, te lo agradezco mucho. Besitos, mua, mua, mua!

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I can see it. Hot dry road, wheels throw up a dust cloud.
You're one person that writes one of these that I can understand. Thank you. For once I don't feel like an idiot trying to figure out a poetic riddle.

Love ya,
:) e

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

LoL That is funny. I have the same problem with sonnets and other structured poems. Not always but most of the time. I am a very visual person so for me it's easy to visualize haiku. Thank you, sweetie pie. Luv ya 2 :)

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

Hi Gypsy,

This five-seven-three syllable poem is very nice. I really liked the picture that you used to go with your poem too. It is really beautiful. I will be looking forward to reading more of your work.

Kat

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you very much for the review and feedback. I appreciate it. :)

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

This cute little haiku gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Burnin' up the asphalt", darlin' Gypsy.

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you, Dean :) Who is on the car? Is that Thelma and Louise? LOL

reply by Dean Kuch on 15-Jun-2016

Could be, heh-heh.
Ain't it like 2:00 am there?
By the way...what are you doing out of bed, young lady!?? LMAO.
Talk about ME staying up until all hours of the night...

reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

It is 2:15 a.m. exactly. Last night I went to bed at 4 a.m. I don't know what is going on! LOL Let's go to bed, Dean. I mean.... ahem... you on yours and me on mine. LOL *good night darlin* I think it's nighty night for me. Mwah! Buenas noches, guapo.

reply by Dean Kuch on 15-Jun-2016

Going to bed alone is no fun!
Of course, I'm never alone.
I have three doggies, lol!
G'night, M'lady...
~Dean

Comment from BOO ghost

Exceptional

Brilliant and vibrant scene! Hot wheels! Scorching day! Hot haiku! Sizzling hot -- poem hits the spot -- Spot. Run Spot run! Onto them hot wheels, truck, free ride from sun. Nice job gypsy queen. BOO!

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you, Boo :) Thank you for the six stars too. You are so sweet. Mwah!

reply by BOO ghost on 15-Jun-2016

Nice touch on your haiku Gypsy picture up there. BOO likes... now, go write another killer chiller poem gypsy! BOO.. boo... boo... BOO!

reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016

Thank you for your faith in my haikuist gypsy. :)

Hugs, sweetie pie.

reply by BOO ghost on 16-Jun-2016

Hugs back, invisible hugs...

Comment from MacMhuirich

Excellent

Very clever, talking about man and yet making reference to his childhood with the mention of 'hot wheels' - I enjoyed playing with cars when I was young. A wonderful presentation.
Bless you
John

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016

Thank you, John :)