How to Get Lost in Italy
Hate is a universal language44 total reviews
Comment from Ginger Banks
You do have a way of telling stories! I enjoyed reading your work only because it was interesting and fun; I can imagine myself doing the same blasted thing - getting lost! I actually do get myself lost on purpose sometimes, just so my mind is forced to be "used" and therefore find my way home, Lol. I'm sorry your adventure was not as pleasant or filled with fun. Although, from reading your story, other than the smattering occasions of Islamophobia, Negrophobia, and homophobia situations, it appears you probably had a good time and some fun while enjoying the sights. I'm pleased it all ended as well as for you, your partner, and your partner's sibling, as your story did here. I thank you for sharing a few laughs, a few terrible moments, and several triumphs. Blessings on you and your writing.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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You do have a way of telling stories! I enjoyed reading your work only because it was interesting and fun; I can imagine myself doing the same blasted thing - getting lost! I actually do get myself lost on purpose sometimes, just so my mind is forced to be "used" and therefore find my way home, Lol. I'm sorry your adventure was not as pleasant or filled with fun. Although, from reading your story, other than the smattering occasions of Islamophobia, Negrophobia, and homophobia situations, it appears you probably had a good time and some fun while enjoying the sights. I'm pleased it all ended as well as for you, your partner, and your partner's sibling, as your story did here. I thank you for sharing a few laughs, a few terrible moments, and several triumphs. Blessings on you and your writing.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Thank you, GingerBanks, for your generous, six star review. I am glad I shared "a few laughs, a few terrible moments, and several triumphs."
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You're welcome.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Andre,
Another excellent, engrossing piece. I can see this going down very well when performed.
fifty feet high and twenty feet think - thick?
Everyone ran through gate of the city. -think this should be through the gates.
I became Othello's shadow - that's a great line.
I had horse when I was in France - didn't think much of it!
All the best
G
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Hi Andre,
Another excellent, engrossing piece. I can see this going down very well when performed.
fifty feet high and twenty feet think - thick?
Everyone ran through gate of the city. -think this should be through the gates.
I became Othello's shadow - that's a great line.
I had horse when I was in France - didn't think much of it!
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Oh, thank you, G. for your fine, detailed review and corrections. You have a good eye for detail. I am glad you found "I became Othello's shadow," to be a great line, because it was the last line I added to the story. Once again, thanks. I look forward to performing this story on Thursday.
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Best of luck, my friend
G
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Andre. I loved this mate. My heart was racing along with yours all the way. Very well written and very enjoyable. I've eaten horse as well and it's okay. You have to try everything, well most things I reckon.
"Hey, we're on vacation and we planned to eat and drink our way through Tuscany." (I love that plan.)
"I grabbed my iPhone compass app. I grabbed my map. I grabbed my book light to read my map. I left the apartment entered the night." (Yep! I hear ya brother. I did that here in the Philippines. Ouch!...Good luck.)
"That restaurant must be around here somewhere. Maybe the next block." (Delia rang me after a few hours and asked me where I was and I said....buggered if I know. Everything looks the same.)
"You know the stereotype about men's reluctance to ask for directions. Well, I didn't speak Italian well enough to ask for directions." ( Hahahaha! Again, I hear ya mate.)
"I ran, too, but as I approached, the gate closed before me. I pound. "Let me in! Let me it!" And then I heard it--twang, twang, twang. I looked down and saw arrows pierced in the ground around me. I looked up to the wall and saw crossbows aimed at me. And I realized that I, a black man, was the invader. I stood as a barbarian at the gate." (Brilliant.)
"So, this Italian boy at this restaurant stared at me and trembled, as if to say, "Are you gonna eat me?" (No that will have to wait kid....I'm full of pizza lol.)
" but I felt what they said. Hate is a universal language. You can tell when people hate you. " (Yep.)
"Andre, if you run into those same men you had encountered on the station platform, they would(will or might) kill you. "
"Sì, signore, cavallo--horse."(Hahahaha!)
I wish you all the best at the recitals mate.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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G'day Andre. I loved this mate. My heart was racing along with yours all the way. Very well written and very enjoyable. I've eaten horse as well and it's okay. You have to try everything, well most things I reckon.
"Hey, we're on vacation and we planned to eat and drink our way through Tuscany." (I love that plan.)
"I grabbed my iPhone compass app. I grabbed my map. I grabbed my book light to read my map. I left the apartment entered the night." (Yep! I hear ya brother. I did that here in the Philippines. Ouch!...Good luck.)
"That restaurant must be around here somewhere. Maybe the next block." (Delia rang me after a few hours and asked me where I was and I said....buggered if I know. Everything looks the same.)
"You know the stereotype about men's reluctance to ask for directions. Well, I didn't speak Italian well enough to ask for directions." ( Hahahaha! Again, I hear ya mate.)
"I ran, too, but as I approached, the gate closed before me. I pound. "Let me in! Let me it!" And then I heard it--twang, twang, twang. I looked down and saw arrows pierced in the ground around me. I looked up to the wall and saw crossbows aimed at me. And I realized that I, a black man, was the invader. I stood as a barbarian at the gate." (Brilliant.)
"So, this Italian boy at this restaurant stared at me and trembled, as if to say, "Are you gonna eat me?" (No that will have to wait kid....I'm full of pizza lol.)
" but I felt what they said. Hate is a universal language. You can tell when people hate you. " (Yep.)
"Andre, if you run into those same men you had encountered on the station platform, they would(will or might) kill you. "
"Sì, signore, cavallo--horse."(Hahahaha!)
I wish you all the best at the recitals mate.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Oh, thank you, Fez, for giving my story its first six star review. I particularly like how you pointed out the lines that worked with you and how my experienced resonated with you: "Hahahaha! Again, I hear ya mate." I look forward to my performance. Thanks.
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Thank you, Fez, for wishing me success in the Story Showdown contest. I won third and my first $50.00. What remains now is the FanStory Nonfiction contest. Thank you for your support.
Comment from mfowler
I can see this being a hit at your showdown. You have a great mix of action, thought bubbles, social commentary, dialogue, travelogue and humour all mixed in this pasta dish. All people are fascinated by travel, and when travel involves the kind of trouble they expect when they travel (or have experienced), then you have an attentive audience. I really enjoyed how you structured this: opening as a travelogue, following up with the mystery of being lost in an exotic place, and your musing about how young people may treat you as an African American travelling in a time of great fear due to the burgeoning refugee crisis in Europe. Loved this pithy and powerful piece:The gang tossed the grenade of homophobia into the combustible mix of Islamophobia and Negrophobia...a brilliant but frightening commentary on human behaviour. The ending about rejection of the Cavallo was ironic and funny. And your closing lines about not having a story to tell is so clever. It completes the narrative arc in style. Really well written and enjoyable.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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I can see this being a hit at your showdown. You have a great mix of action, thought bubbles, social commentary, dialogue, travelogue and humour all mixed in this pasta dish. All people are fascinated by travel, and when travel involves the kind of trouble they expect when they travel (or have experienced), then you have an attentive audience. I really enjoyed how you structured this: opening as a travelogue, following up with the mystery of being lost in an exotic place, and your musing about how young people may treat you as an African American travelling in a time of great fear due to the burgeoning refugee crisis in Europe. Loved this pithy and powerful piece:The gang tossed the grenade of homophobia into the combustible mix of Islamophobia and Negrophobia...a brilliant but frightening commentary on human behaviour. The ending about rejection of the Cavallo was ironic and funny. And your closing lines about not having a story to tell is so clever. It completes the narrative arc in style. Really well written and enjoyable.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
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Yes, mfowler, I am quite pleased by my classic quest structure and "a great mix of action, thought bubbles, social commentary, dialogue, travelogue and humour all mixed in this pasta dish." Many storytellers that I know of are one-note storytellers. They tell a story that is all funny, or all sad, or all social commentary. I love to mix it up and give my audience and the reader a ride. Thank you for your encouraging review as I head into the Story Showdown.
