First Lover After
Fictional Poem about a rebound lover following a break up2 total reviews
Comment from Pathos303
Very interesting story! I really like the beginning middle and end of a story that you have within your poem. I felt like it became choppy at times, and not very smooth with distracted from the story. With the line "I wish you well now that our time is together has ended and we carry on..." Did you mean to put the is, after our time? It was one part where the flow became mixed up and I was curious! Great work though!
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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Very interesting story! I really like the beginning middle and end of a story that you have within your poem. I felt like it became choppy at times, and not very smooth with distracted from the story. With the line "I wish you well now that our time is together has ended and we carry on..." Did you mean to put the is, after our time? It was one part where the flow became mixed up and I was curious! Great work though!
Comment Written 28-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2016
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I didn't mean to. I deleted the word
Comment from lfemine
That's a lovely poem. It expresses a sad-happy time very well, a period of loving and learning and letting go. There's a few errors to fix - 2nd line should say "in" instead of "is". In 3rd paragraph, leave out "is" before together in 1st line. Otherwise, well done.
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That's a lovely poem. It expresses a sad-happy time very well, a period of loving and learning and letting go. There's a few errors to fix - 2nd line should say "in" instead of "is". In 3rd paragraph, leave out "is" before together in 1st line. Otherwise, well done.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2016
