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Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Strange Showers"
Free verse poems

37 total reviews 
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

It's beyond belief, what some people will do. What the hell do they have between their ears?

Great haibun, Carol. A real feast for the senses, with some brilliant descriptions.
My fave line: Dust between grinding teeth; no sacred wafer here. -Brilliant!

I've been watching the news about the fire! Awful to see the scenes.

Av

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Hi Av,
    Thank you, I appreciate this. The potlatch was supposed to be about rain, but it's too hard to write about when we're basically just dying for rain right now. So I wrote about ashfall instead. I didn't plan to write about the fire bugs, it just happened...

    hugs,
    Carol
Comment from barkingdog
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You captured the voice of a madman. Anyone who would set fires has to be insane.
Fantastic chain of thought as he goes about his business. I found his attitude horrifying: ' I'm capering, allowing the fire to draw close. Let the fire consume all; most of all, me. ... heat and wind embrace--my apocalypse.'

Fine haibun, Carol.

:) e

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    I saw the quote again from the fire captain - 90% of fires are caused by humans. Sometimes it's a chain dragging behind a trailer that causes sparks, or a cigarette butt thrown carelessly. But many times they are set deliberately. Really awful. At least one person has died in this fire.

    Carol
reply by barkingdog on 24-Jul-2016
    When I was a kid in WV, I remember hearing to never toss a cigarette butt out the car window.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Yeah, so many reasons not to toss the butts. They pollute horribly in addition to being a fire hazard. :(
Comment from Ben Colder
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Idiots are those who send fire storms our way. I hope they catch the ones who did this and keep them in a straight jacket where they belong. Best to you. Hope you get rain.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Somehow they usually can figure out how the fire started - kind of incredible. This one is really bad, but will be one of many this summer, I'm afraid,

    Carol
Comment from rama devi
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh my god...WOW...this is amazing! You capture the POV with ferocious poetic accuracy. Compelling and intense. Impressive work. So many stroke of genius lines that mean more than they say:

I can't sing without fire.

Winds lose their way.

are my favorites.

This one has effective poetic contrast:

Dust between grinding teeth; no sacred wafer here.

Fine personification here:

Each flame gobbles another in hellish delight.

The three liner is a pitch perfect summation.

Wow.

Love,
rd

PS I am editing five books at the moment...won't be here much but I do read your work always, even when there is no time to review...just FYI!




 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jul-2016
    Hi, thank you my friend, I've been so busy (because of the fire) and I'm late answering my reviews. I so appreciate your comments on my strange poem. I didn't know this would come out of it when I sat down to write!

    Carol
reply by rama devi on 26-Jul-2016
    I hope this fire did not come near your home?????? Sending love and prayers...
    rd
Comment from --Turtle.
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Vivid, strong details venturing into a mind bent on a let it burn level of destruction.

I don't know why people can be so apathetic or careless or pleased/enthralled by to the harm they do, but this poem was believable in the embracing of destruction. I really enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Thanks, it is incredible to me that people do this, but they do. One of the fire officials actually caught a firebug on video - I saw the video, and the guy looked nuts.

    Carol
Comment from Pantygynt
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Pyromaniacs are one set of lunatics that I simply cannot understand. When I was a lad there was a series of unexplained barn fires which were eventually traced to a human cause -- a firefighter!

I thought the topic was rain or is this the golden rain of the firework?

The prose is an amazing piece of creativity and who knows maybe their delight is like that. The haiku too complements the prose beautifully. A very original response to the challenge.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Yep - the firefighters sometimes set the fires so they can go to work. But for the most part, our firefighters here are the best there are. I so admire them.

    The "rain" was the shower of ash falling downstream of the fire :)

    Carol
reply by Pantygynt on 24-Jul-2016
    Ah dry rain got it. God I'm slow today
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Lol, no worries ;)
reply by Pantygynt on 25-Jul-2016
    The Awdl Gynt contest ents midnight tonight EST
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Beautifully scribed haibun the descriptive text of the fire bug are most extraordinarily and intensely nuts. You've revealed in great a great narrative the nature of the fire lighter! Here the bushfires are often lit by pyromaniacs, and even some by the volunteer fire fighters, they've been responsible for loss of life and property, brilliant haiku Carol, well done, Roy,

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Aren't they just so horribly crazy? I'm not surprised to hear you have the fire bugs in Australia too - awful people.

    Carol
reply by royowen on 24-Jul-2016
    I don't really get there motives, Carol, the world is nuts, one way or another.
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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I accidentally used all my sixes a few hours ago thinking they were last week's - but they weren't! Otherwise, this would certainly have been a recipient. You seem to have got right inside the mind of the pyromaniac here.
There is great sharpness in your description. It reminded me in some ways of Pablo Neruda's prose poem "Fire".
I've not heard of pyrocumulus before - a great description.
Excellent concluding Haiku.
Altogether a very fine piece of writing. A real pleasure to read.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Thanks, Tony. I will check out Nerudo's work, I'm definitely interested. Yep, pyrocumulus is all too real, we've had it going here for 2 days now.

    Carol
Comment from Domino 2
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I've read quite a few interpretations of haibun rules, Carol, but one I recall is that no word should be repeated, and you repeat, 'fire', quite a lot.

I think this is written from the POV of the wicked, twisted arsonist, and you incorporate many excellent fire metaphors in this very visual and word-rich write.

Top terse prose, and excellent associated senryu that is very poetic and visual.

You're VERY talented, my friend.

Cheers, Ray xx


 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    I think I violated another rule by ending my haiku with "my" apocalypse. But I was too tired last night to think of something else!

    This morning I went through and removed some of the "fires" - found some good synonyms to throw in there. Thanks for pointing that out, which was a good comment.

    Thanks so much, Ray!
    xo,
    Carol
Comment from WalkerMan
Excellent
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This fits the haibun form, is aptly illustrated, and the black text on
yellow-orange background fits the theme. Yet, I doubt even Dean would
have written this. You captured the pyro mindset uncomfortably well.

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    I used to be on a wildfire crew with the Forest Service, and I'm currently a meteorologist - I did two spot forecasts for this fire yesterday and the day before. I have a lot of intense emotion about this whole thing because of my past and current employment...

    thanks so much for the review,
    Carol
reply by WalkerMan on 24-Jul-2016
    Wildfires are certainly horrible, particularly if you live anywhere in the vicinity. Yes, I did know that human carelessness as well as evil behavior (psychotic or not) causes most of them. I learned about meteorology in an Earth Science class in ninth grade many decades ago, and have always been glad to understand what the clouds on a given day mean (though the use of chemtrails has distorted weather patterns, particularly on the west Coast). So I do recognize how the heat and smoke particles from a large fire can create weather of its own. As I said, though, you conveyed the pyro mind disturbingly well. -- Mike
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    I promise, I'm not a pyro!! ;)
reply by WalkerMan on 24-Jul-2016
    Maybe it's only the hearts of men who respect talent and intelligence that you inflame.... :)) -- Mike
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2016
    Thanks, Mike :)
reply by WalkerMan on 24-Jul-2016
    You're welcome, Carol. :)) -- Mike