Reader, I Married Him
My pet helped me to find love22 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a really lovely story, and what a wonderful way to find a husband! LOL. I am sure everyone will want an elephant now. Your story was great, original, and fun. Good luck in the contest! :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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What a really lovely story, and what a wonderful way to find a husband! LOL. I am sure everyone will want an elephant now. Your story was great, original, and fun. Good luck in the contest! :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thanks for your kind review , Sandra.
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Thanks for your kind review , Sandra.
Comment from Kooky Clown
I enjoyed this but I am confused as the category states it is fiction but I got the impression it was factual am I reading it wrong is it fact or fiction? An interesting read either way.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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I enjoyed this but I am confused as the category states it is fiction but I got the impression it was factual am I reading it wrong is it fact or fiction? An interesting read either way.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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No, it's just fiction, but I must be very convincing. ;)Thanks for reading.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is a terrific story, and it reads almost like it's true. I wish I had a little elephant... one that didn't grow up or make a mess, that is. :)
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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This is a terrific story, and it reads almost like it's true. I wish I had a little elephant... one that didn't grow up or make a mess, that is. :)
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thanks for your review, Phyllis. I don't t think I'd like to have an elephant myself...having a little dog is enough.
Comment from DonandVicki
This reads like a true story, I had to look at the heading and realized that it was fiction. You made it seem believeable. Very well done.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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This reads like a true story, I had to look at the heading and realized that it was fiction. You made it seem believeable. Very well done.
Comment Written 28-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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I'm glad the story seems real. That has to be a good sign. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Teri7
This is truly a cute story you have penned. It kept me interested and wanting more the whole time I was reading it. I loved the idea of Dumbo and the vet. I enjoyed it very much. Great descriptive wording and great imagery. Teri
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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This is truly a cute story you have penned. It kept me interested and wanting more the whole time I was reading it. I loved the idea of Dumbo and the vet. I enjoyed it very much. Great descriptive wording and great imagery. Teri
Comment Written 27-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Thanks for your kind words, Teri.
Comment from seaglass
This is a fun story. Is it true? I read through while my mind imagined things to consider like; the size of poop that would have to be cleaned up, the amount of food that would have to be purchased, and the legality. In America all kinds of expensive permits would have to be obtained.
"I thought he must (have got) lost..." I'm not sure this is the proper use of the verb, is it got or gotten. Perhaps "I thought he must (be) lost ..." would be better.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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This is a fun story. Is it true? I read through while my mind imagined things to consider like; the size of poop that would have to be cleaned up, the amount of food that would have to be purchased, and the legality. In America all kinds of expensive permits would have to be obtained.
"I thought he must (have got) lost..." I'm not sure this is the proper use of the verb, is it got or gotten. Perhaps "I thought he must (be) lost ..." would be better.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2016
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Hi! No, the story is not true. My biggest pet is a Westie.
Thanks for reading.
As to the must have got lost, I think first you get lost and then you are lost. Got is the British participle, gotten is American.
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I see, thanks for explaining the difference. I'm finding there are many regarding America, England, and Australia . I didn't know that before joining fs
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This is excellent! It is very well written, and extremely enjoyable. What a story for this contest! Everything you wrote pertains to the story and moves it forward. Nothing slows oar stalls out the action, thus losing the reader. You transition well from scene to scene. Your descriptive narrative is great. What a vivid picture I had in my mind's eye of you walking Dumbo down the road to the vet's office. Your dialogue is very believable; even Dumbo's snorts! You did a great job with this. Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2016
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This is excellent! It is very well written, and extremely enjoyable. What a story for this contest! Everything you wrote pertains to the story and moves it forward. Nothing slows oar stalls out the action, thus losing the reader. You transition well from scene to scene. Your descriptive narrative is great. What a vivid picture I had in my mind's eye of you walking Dumbo down the road to the vet's office. Your dialogue is very believable; even Dumbo's snorts! You did a great job with this. Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
Comment Written 26-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2016
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Thanks for your great review, Suzanne.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
I recently saw a documentary about elephants. It's true what they say about an elephant's memory. A mother and daughter elephant were separated when the daughter was sold. 30 years later they were reunited. The documentary showed seasoned handlers crying when they saw the excitement the two elephants displayed when they were reunited.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2016
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I recently saw a documentary about elephants. It's true what they say about an elephant's memory. A mother and daughter elephant were separated when the daughter was sold. 30 years later they were reunited. The documentary showed seasoned handlers crying when they saw the excitement the two elephants displayed when they were reunited.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2016
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Thanks for your time, Thomas.
Comment from barkingdog
Hi, MJ.
This is written so realistically that I was believing it. haha
You story had all the essentials. A curious beginning(Dumbo shows up) and thickening plot in the middle(going to the vet and having him come to visit and asking you out) and a satisfying ending( a marriage with Dumbo as the ring bearer.)
Good luck in the contest.
:) e
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2016
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Hi, MJ.
This is written so realistically that I was believing it. haha
You story had all the essentials. A curious beginning(Dumbo shows up) and thickening plot in the middle(going to the vet and having him come to visit and asking you out) and a satisfying ending( a marriage with Dumbo as the ring bearer.)
Good luck in the contest.
:) e
Comment Written 26-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2016
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Hi, I'm glad you found the story believable ;). Thanks for reading and for the good wishes.
Comment from Briar172
Oh, my. . . seven stars for Dumbo! Great good story, may I help with how it is written? We live now, for better or worse, in an age of 20 second sound-bites and folk who must be captured by Concept, not Word. So. . .
My pet is a baby elephant I adopted three months ago. I live in South Africa and one day he just walked into my garden. I was sitting on the porch, reading this slightly boring novel, and when I looked up, there he was. It was love at first sight. His eyes looked like big pools, maybe a bit sad, and his ears were extraordinarily fuzzy. He was like an oversized soft toy. So... perhaps
A young (or baby) elephant in South Africa wondered into my garden one day. (Try to reduce words to move the reader along) On the porch, reading a slightly boring novel, I look up to see him. Love at first sight! Eyes like big pools, sad? Ears so fuzzy cute, like an oversized toy.
To get folk to read your Write, you need to hook them. Especially, you need to hook the Editor. Who will stamp your Write 'Good' or 'Reject'. So, a few tricks. . .reduce word to concept and then flow it. If you hook the Editor, you will certainly hook the Reader!
You can tell a story, now make it ring!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2016
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Oh, my. . . seven stars for Dumbo! Great good story, may I help with how it is written? We live now, for better or worse, in an age of 20 second sound-bites and folk who must be captured by Concept, not Word. So. . .
My pet is a baby elephant I adopted three months ago. I live in South Africa and one day he just walked into my garden. I was sitting on the porch, reading this slightly boring novel, and when I looked up, there he was. It was love at first sight. His eyes looked like big pools, maybe a bit sad, and his ears were extraordinarily fuzzy. He was like an oversized soft toy. So... perhaps
A young (or baby) elephant in South Africa wondered into my garden one day. (Try to reduce words to move the reader along) On the porch, reading a slightly boring novel, I look up to see him. Love at first sight! Eyes like big pools, sad? Ears so fuzzy cute, like an oversized toy.
To get folk to read your Write, you need to hook them. Especially, you need to hook the Editor. Who will stamp your Write 'Good' or 'Reject'. So, a few tricks. . .reduce word to concept and then flow it. If you hook the Editor, you will certainly hook the Reader!
You can tell a story, now make it ring!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2016
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Well, there's a slight problem with your editing. The story for this competition had to start with these exact words: My pet is a ...
Thanks for reading and for your advice. Whereas I see your point, I'm not sure I totally like your version of my paragraph... maybe I'm too boring for this day and age.
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Yes, saw that.. hmm after I sent back to you. No, did not think you should like or not, just an example of thought. Good Write, though, as I said.
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Thanks!
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Oh, my. Yes, I only saw and regretted the seeing, after I sent the Post. Such is Life. It happens, Life. What is exceptional, is what you do with it. My heartfelt apologies.
