Brotherly love.
Ryan's sacrifice.5 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
Congratulations on winning the contest, MJ. I missed reading this one prior to the voting. Your story is clearly written and interesting. I think many donors are needed to help others. It's a relatively safe procedure for the donor and everyone hopes will be the saving grace for the recipient. In this case it didn't work out that way.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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Congratulations on winning the contest, MJ. I missed reading this one prior to the voting. Your story is clearly written and interesting. I think many donors are needed to help others. It's a relatively safe procedure for the donor and everyone hopes will be the saving grace for the recipient. In this case it didn't work out that way.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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This was an exceptional case, unfortunately based on a true story. Thanks for reading.
Comment from Judy Couch
What a tragic story. There's no happy ending here. Even though he changed his attitude and wanted to get well, it still isn't a happy ever after story but then stories about heroes seldom are.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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What a tragic story. There's no happy ending here. Even though he changed his attitude and wanted to get well, it still isn't a happy ever after story but then stories about heroes seldom are.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2016
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The worst part is it is based on a real story. Thanks for reading.
Comment from country ranch writer
sometimes what we think is a good decision just goes just the opposite of what we had expected the out come to be. losing his brother was a great loss and to have to have another transplant was not going to be so easy so we can never expect everything to go our way God has other plans why I don't know.
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2016
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sometimes what we think is a good decision just goes just the opposite of what we had expected the out come to be. losing his brother was a great loss and to have to have another transplant was not going to be so easy so we can never expect everything to go our way God has other plans why I don't know.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 07-Sep-2016
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And the toughest bit is that this is based on a true life story. Thanks for reading.
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so sorry to hear this and I know how rough it can get at moments like this
Comment from mike1817
The poem is so gripping and so honest and touching to a retired doctor that five stars is barely enough. It's both tragic and loving. It is, however, more of a story than a poem or it would merit a six. Thanks for letting us in. Mike1817
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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The poem is so gripping and so honest and touching to a retired doctor that five stars is barely enough. It's both tragic and loving. It is, however, more of a story than a poem or it would merit a six. Thanks for letting us in. Mike1817
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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I was meant to write a story for this competition, Mike. Not a poem.
Comment from lancellot
Okay, I get the overall sentiment of this fictional story, but it feels rushed and things in it don't sound reasonable. I would suggest looking this over. It is your story, not mine, so it is your choice. I mean no insult to you in my review.
notes:
'So how are you, little brother? Have they fixed you yet?{'Ã? } Ryan joked
- edit
'I'll do it,' Ryan said after a while.
- this part is strange, because the reader doesn't know how Ryan even know what kind of transplant Chase needs
Also, the reader doesn't know what 'PSC' is?
'The operations have been a success. You'll be able to see your husbands in an hour or so.'
- okay, this is strange also, for two reasons.
A doctor wouldn't know if the operations were successful, until after recovery, so he would likely say, let's wait and see.
Also: have been a success, should be: were successful
We might have to consider a second transplant from a cadaver.'
- What? this doesn't match up with the doctor's comments in the beginning.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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Okay, I get the overall sentiment of this fictional story, but it feels rushed and things in it don't sound reasonable. I would suggest looking this over. It is your story, not mine, so it is your choice. I mean no insult to you in my review.
notes:
'So how are you, little brother? Have they fixed you yet?{'Ã? } Ryan joked
- edit
'I'll do it,' Ryan said after a while.
- this part is strange, because the reader doesn't know how Ryan even know what kind of transplant Chase needs
Also, the reader doesn't know what 'PSC' is?
'The operations have been a success. You'll be able to see your husbands in an hour or so.'
- okay, this is strange also, for two reasons.
A doctor wouldn't know if the operations were successful, until after recovery, so he would likely say, let's wait and see.
Also: have been a success, should be: were successful
We might have to consider a second transplant from a cadaver.'
- What? this doesn't match up with the doctor's comments in the beginning.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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I'll look over your suggestions. Thanks.
