Lady with Four Faces
Contrasting the seasons6 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
I like short poetry. Haiku is my favorite and what I write.
Beautiful imagery about the season. I think you did a good job with this poetic form. You met the challenge well.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Hello,
I like short poetry. Haiku is my favorite and what I write.
Beautiful imagery about the season. I think you did a good job with this poetic form. You met the challenge well.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 14-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Thanks for your kind words!
Comment from foxangie123
Very clever indeed and the picture goes so well with. It is witty and reads very nicely. I am wishing you great fortunes in the competition.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Very clever indeed and the picture goes so well with. It is witty and reads very nicely. I am wishing you great fortunes in the competition.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Ogden
Your entry is excellent, and a pleasure to read! But there is what I see as a problem with the last stanza, for which I can suggest a subtle fix or two that wouldn't compromise quality:
"But Winter needs plowers, towers snow," of course, is supposed to mean that winter needs plowers that tower snow, but it doesn't.
Here is a possible change:
When April brings showers, flowers know
Then Winter needs plowers, towers grow
or
Winter needs plowers, and towers grow
Just trying to help. I hope you don't mind.
Sincerely,
Don
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Your entry is excellent, and a pleasure to read! But there is what I see as a problem with the last stanza, for which I can suggest a subtle fix or two that wouldn't compromise quality:
"But Winter needs plowers, towers snow," of course, is supposed to mean that winter needs plowers that tower snow, but it doesn't.
Here is a possible change:
When April brings showers, flowers know
Then Winter needs plowers, towers grow
or
Winter needs plowers, and towers grow
Just trying to help. I hope you don't mind.
Sincerely,
Don
Comment Written 14-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2016
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Wish you had reviewed sooner! Contest hsd closed. Your suggestions were fantastic! It was my first effort in writing a tyburn. Thanks for the advice and encouragement.
Comment from Richard J
Mother Nature is all aglow from the effulgent beauty and wonderment of your amazingly enthralling poem in mono-rhymed touches caressing from your words.
I love the imagery, presentation, and skillfully rendered thoughts, sensations, and feeling of this excellent Tyburn ... it would not in the least surprise me if it finishes atop the winner's list.
Thank you for the treat! ~ Richard
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Mother Nature is all aglow from the effulgent beauty and wonderment of your amazingly enthralling poem in mono-rhymed touches caressing from your words.
I love the imagery, presentation, and skillfully rendered thoughts, sensations, and feeling of this excellent Tyburn ... it would not in the least surprise me if it finishes atop the winner's list.
Thank you for the treat! ~ Richard
Comment Written 11-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2016
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Appreciate your kind words and insightful review!
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It was my joy! : )
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the artwork, too.
-Good presentation.
-Your format is good.
-You have good rhyming words for seasons.
-Good alliteration in line 8.
-I like how you bring the seasons in in line 9.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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-I like the artwork, too.
-Good presentation.
-Your format is good.
-You have good rhyming words for seasons.
-Good alliteration in line 8.
-I like how you bring the seasons in in line 9.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Thanks for the positive feedback!
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You are very welcome.
Comment from redprairie_rose
i would say you succeeded 2,2,2,2,9,9
interesting form of poetry. the words all rhymed.
the word towers didn't quite seem to bring the imagery of snow to me...
for some reason. maybe another word?
thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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i would say you succeeded 2,2,2,2,9,9
interesting form of poetry. the words all rhymed.
the word towers didn't quite seem to bring the imagery of snow to me...
for some reason. maybe another word?
thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
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Had to rhyme with shower flower, etc. I was picturing towers of snow like we get here in New England! It was a stretch...but thanks for reviewing my attempt at a tyburn!
